October 2012 Weddings
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I think I may be losing a friend
Recently I've noticed that one of my best friends from high school and I have been a little distant. We met almost 10 years ago in grade 9 music class and became instant friends. Once we left for college we saw each other less since we lived in different cities and our visits were mostly over the holidays when she came home. After college she got a job and moved further away. It became clear we wanted different things in life...she wanted a glamorous, single life in the city and I had my sights set on getting married and settling down. In the 4 years since graduating college I've seen her just 4 times: my engagement party, shower, bachelorette party and wedding.
The thought of losing her as a friend used to scare me but strangely, I'm okay with it. I know that sounds bad but we are just such different people now. We are at different places in our lives, we have different lifestyles and we want different things.
I have another best friend whom I've known since third grade and we are still very close. I saw her even less after high school because she rarely came home from college but when we recently had lunch it was like we had never been apart.
I've shared this with my husband and he said sometimes friendships just fizzle out...has anyone else had experience like this?
Re: I think I may be losing a friend
That ended the friendship and showed me who she really was and where her priorities were. She knew about my wedding for 10 Months, she had been with the new boyfriend 3 months and just met the friend she decided to party with instead.
I also have a "friend" now that my stepmom became friends with. We will call her M. I was pretty good friends with herand a whole group of ladies that i would scrapbook with. I was the youngest by about 10 yrs. When i first broke up with by XH and started dating DH, she made all kinds of snide remarks about him being a rebound and askung me if i was sure i wanted to be with him. Noone else in the group said anything like that. Then she started making comments about how much time DH and i spend together. DH and i decided that we wouldnt do overnights without each other so M kept asking me when i was going to cut the cord. The last time i saw her was last Christmas and M's comment of the day was, "so are you guys planning on kids, i wasnt sure because of your age. I thought maybe you had given up on having kids." I was recently asked to go to lunch with M and my stepmom but i declined.
I had a similiar thing happen with a friend of mine. She wanted marriage/babies right out of high school and I was the crazy, single friend that was never going to settle down. We got distant but kept in touch, the funny thing is that now our lives reversed. She's the crazy single friend and I'm the one that settled down. We are actually closer now than ever!
I think sometimes just because your friendships fizzle a bit doesn't mean they are over. I have 3 best friends and our roles/relationships with one another have changed a lot over the years, but none of them ended. You may be in a low period with this friend but in two years you guys could become super close again. Life is weird like that.