Family Matters
formerlyGDaisy09
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I feel like I'm on a TV sitcom
so MIL is really into knick-knacks, her house is full of them, she loves them, but to me it's clutter (or boarderline hording?). My ILs live 15 minutes from our house, she is constantly stopping by with things to give me (latest a 3 foot wide sign with our last name on it she thought would look nice over the garage, the only thing I've ever hung on our house is a Christmas wreath). Most things have some importance to her on a family level, I have some things that were hand painted by H's grandmother, some drawings by a different grandmother...but other stuff she finds a thrift stores and "thinks of me".
Most of the stuff is not my taste, but she remembers everything she gave me and looks for it whenever she's at the house (we got what IMO is a hidious pencil drawing of some deer that was drawn by one of the grandmas, she told me she thought it would look nice in my kitchen). I'm running out of places to store these knick knacks (many are fragile...glass or ceramic bowls, candy dishes, etc)...and given that MIL lives so close she frequently surprises us by just stopping by and looks for these items while she's visiting. She'll ask "what happened to that hand painted bowl I gave you?" or "Oh, I thought you were going to hang that drawing I gave you for Christmas in the kitchen?"
it feels a little petty, but I don't like my shelves covered in knick knacks that don't go with the way we've designed a room, I mostly decorate with photos from our lives. MIL just gets so sentimental about everything I'm afraid she'll be offended if I turn these gifts down, and I know she gets offended when she comes into my house and doesn't see anything she's given us. but I don't want to feel like some sitcom wife running around scattering some of her knick knacks about when I see her coming up the road. And My basement is almost entirely dedicated to holding larger things she thought we'd want (a wooden rocking horse, a doll house, a giant drink dispenser...). this maybe more of a vent, but if you have tactics to perhaps reduce the amount of stuff we're given that would be great!
Me: 28 H: 30
Married 07/14/2012
TTC #1 January 2015
BFP! 3/27/15 Baby Girl!! EDD:12/7/2015
Re: I feel like I'm on a TV sitcom
Anyway, I would start telling your MIL no, that you don't want/need the stuff she brings over. Tell her it doesn't fit in with your decor, that you don't need it, and perhaps it would be better suited for someone else. Don't feel guilty either - it's your house! She's not respecting that by unloading all of her shit on you. And I would get your H to back you up too.
A sign with your last name on it might be fun for a den or a rec room in a basement but that's about it.
I don't know how you're going to break the news to her gently that it's Thanks but It's Really Not Our Style.:(
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10