QOTD 4/7

minionlover · April 2014

I'm not having the best morning today so I want to know what is the craziest/dumbest/funniest thing you have ever heard someone say? I need to laugh.

minionlover · April 2014

For me is was when DH and I were walking to lunch. This lady who was about 65 or 70 is yelling while on her cell phone. All of a sudden we hear her say "I am going to slap you so hard you ain't gonna be able to suck dick for a month!!!" We died laughing!!

ramstein1027 · April 2014

My cousin used to think that wolverine was actually WOLFerine...and that wolverines were like tiny, miniature wolves...lol

She also once asked if Nevada was in California...

goatlady12 · April 2014

One night at a bar in I was in a stall and some woman came in and gave herself a pep talk in the mirror. I hid in the stall and tried to remain silent. She was saying things like, "You're going to go out there and just kiss him. You can do this, you are a strong and beautiful woman.." She was slurring her words really badly and I think at one point she spanked her own butt and called herself a sexy B. When she finally left the bathroom I just busted out laughing!

WillyH19 · April 2014

I worked at Toys R Us through high school and college. I got the biggest kick out of people calling and asking to be connected to the "toy department". I just laughed every time I answered the phone and was asked that.

I also have a now ex-friend who is an elementary school teacher and was explaining to me that her friends boyfriend was deployed. She said he was in Iraq, no wait, Baghdad, not Iraq...did I mention she is a TEACHER, perhaps she should know that Baghdad is in Iraq??

mrshall1027 · April 2014

We used to sell computers and laptops to individuals until we switched to dealing with companies. A customer that had bought a laptop called and was complaining how his charger wasn't fitting the laptop. He said "I even put some lube on it, and it still wouldn't go in." It took all that I had to keep from laughing at him.

ramstein1027 · April 2014

LOL no freakin way @ystaalenburg!! that is ridiculous!!

chasemamabear · April 2014

Mine is from my college psychology teacher.She was doing a powepoint presentation about what happens in the brain that causes addiction. She started talking about the affects of cocaine on the brain and then stopped and said...

"Oh my gosh! I have to tell you guys what happened....I was having my husband proof read this PowerPoint and it's a good thing I did because I almost gave you guys the recipe for cocaine! He said it might not be the best idea"

I couldn't believe it!

linnae939 · April 2014

As a teacher, there are soo soo many things I hear on a daily basis, it's hard to pick just one! One that always annoyed me though was when I said I was from Illinois, then later said something about being from Chicago, someone will ALWAYS say, wait, I thought you were from Illinois...um. yeah

xxjen015 · April 2014

Oh goodness, I'm not sure! My high school band teacher used to say weird stuff. My favorite was probably "You guys sound like 2 turtles having sex!"

The other night I went and played Bunco with my co-workers and I had rolled the dice and was supposed to have another turn, the girl next to me started reaching for them and my gut instinct was to yell "DON'T TOUCH MY BALLS!!!" I said it and we all just busted out laughing.

xxjen015 · April 2014

Also, when I was in college (to become a teacher...therefore I was in class with a bunch of future teachers, God help us all) there were so many stupid people. The worst was in a child development class when we were talking about genetics. One girl told us a story about how her grandmother had just told the family about a daughter she'd had previously and put up for adoption. The girl in my class said "It's the weirdest thing...we met her and, she still looks like my grandmother!" I was open-mouthed in shock.

My teacher tried to politely explain that it made sense because your genetics are what determine your looks, not who raises you. Then another girl raised her hand and said "OMG I know! My parents got divorced and I still look like my dad, not my step-dad!" *facepalm*

ramstein1027 · April 2014

OMG you guys how could I have forgotten this one. Oh boy...

So I helped this girl I knew in college with her paper. She wasn't the brightest crayon, but very sweet. Purdue has a kind of strict foreign language requirement (4 semesters I think), and American Sign Language counts as a foreign language. This girl is a special ed major and so she picks ASL as her language, joins the Deaf Support Club, the works. (Mind you she has no hearing or speech impediments, that's just what she picked to study--this will come into play later.) Anyhow, she asks me to review her paper for ASL class, I say ok. It's supposed to be about her experience with the Deaf Club, learning ASL, and supporting the deaf community.

I scan the first sentence. No...that can't be right. Must be a fluke error. Scan the rest of the (1 page) paper...not a fluke. In every instance where the word "deaf" is supposed to go, she has used the word "death." So, things like "the death community" and "death club" or even "club of the death" are everywhere.

I guess that for her entire life, when people pronounce "deaf" she thought it was "death" every time. I noticed afterward that when she said the word deaf it kind of sounded like death, but so many people have weird speaking nuances/accents I never thought anything of it.

Needless to say there were a few corrections to make in the paper.

goatlady12 · April 2014

I just thought of another one too! This was like a year ago. DH and I were watching a movie and a baby was born. I made a comment about how newborns in movies are like 3-6 months old. DH says, "Yeah you can tell it's not a newborn because it can open its eyes." He apparently thinks human babies are like puppies.

mrshall1027 · April 2014

Omg, death instead of deaf! Really?!?!?!

I saw and heard all sorts of levels of stupid when we sold to end users. We had someone come in that had wax all over his laptop and wanted us to replace it under the warranty. Another guy came in saying his computer was freezing up and acting funny, and when we turned it on, hundreds of porno pop ups came on. Others would call bitching and complaining that their computer was broken, but they never even plugged it in.

ramstein1027 · April 2014

Seipel12 said:
I just thought of another one too! This was like a year ago. DH and I were watching a movie and a baby was born. I made a comment about how newborns in movies are like 3-6 months old. DH says, "Yeah you can tell it's not a newborn because it can open its eyes." He apparently thinks human babies are like puppies.

^^he's got some learning to do in the upcoming months, huh? Lol!

sjs1013 · April 2014

I have a shelf of books that I only let certain students borrow from. A lot of them are brand new and don't have my name in them yet. A boy in my class borrowed a book from the shelf when I was absent a few weeks ago and took a stamp off my desk to stamp my name in the. The stamp said "Please sign and return." He thought stamping it a second time would get my name to stamp. I have a Goosebumps book that says "Please sign and return" twice on the inside cover. My name is written on the stamp so people know who it belongs to. When I came back and he told me I doubled over laughing.

catwine · April 2014

I have 2 funny things to share...the first was in high school when my friends and I were getting ready to out. My friend Sarah had tried on a black top and my other friend quickly exclaimed "Sarah, you're such a black person!" meaning she looks good in black, but of course as 17 year olds we though it was hilarious.

The other happened in the form a text from my H a few years ago. Part of his job involves some driving in the company equipment van sometimes for several hours to get to a site...so he texts me to say he just pooped at the side of the road. Apparently it was a long drive to the nearest bathroom and pretty early in the day so there wasn't a lot of traffic. But I guess he was pretty proud of himself to share that with me!

QOTD 4/7

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