first time home buyer

sbusic · April 2014

My husband and I are on the process of buying a house. Our offer has been accepted and now were going through the motions on inspection and appraisal. My husband and I have a difficult time conversing about it cause he's freaking out and just jumps the gun on issues. The property is much further away from our jobs but we knew going into this that it wad going to be that way cause of our budget. I have gone to the point to look for closer jobs and bus routes. One issue that's been a work in progress (not really in progress) but he spends a lot of money on beer. I've tried to tell him thats going to have be cut down but he's not very open to that...we always get into a fight about it. I've worked out how our budget is going to be without factoring utilities and with what's left over im sure we can afford all those things but if we are to.have anything left over we need to cut back on frivolous spending. How do we talk about this with out getting into heated arguments? Anyone go through similar experiences? I would appreciate any ones input.

musictchr25 · April 2014

If he doesn't want to give up his beer, go through the list of things with him and find something else that either he gives up or you two can give up together. If he sees the list of things that are considered extra spending items, maybe he will figure out that he would rather have those versus the beer.

Also, what's a lot of money on beer? Fighting over beer seems weird. Are you sure there aren't other issues that are brought up when this discussion happens? If he's that upset about giving up beer, maybe there is a bigger problem on hand.

sbusic · April 2014

Well, at one time it was almost $500 a month on beer, seeing this I brought it to attention and told him it needed only be on weekends. Not only does it hurt the pocket book but it hurts the health. He has high blood pressure and I finally got him to go see the doctors to get it looked at and while in the room with him and the doctor I asked what effect does alcohol have on his blood pressure and the doctor said that it's best to stay away... Has he listened, NO.

I like your idea on listing out what is "extra" and asking about giving up on those items, I think I will try that. Although, the list is small...with our budget the amount that he spends now ranges 50-60 a week...I'd like to see it only be 20-30 a week...if that... I've tried to do a budget tracker but he never looks at it, I'm almost to the point where I want to just give him a weekly allowance and he can use it as he wants....but I really don't want to go to that. We don't have kids yet and I don't want to have to treat him as one.

musictchr25 · April 2014

Sorry to be blunt here, but it sounds like he has a drinking problem. That amount of money per week is equal to buying about three 30 packs of beer in a week, which is outrageous if you ask me. If you and the doctor's recommendation can't fix his drinking, maybe some alternative actions need to be taken.

Maybride2 · April 2014

The time to have these discussions is BEFORE you put an offer on a house, not after. Sounds like he's not the one jumping the gun on things. Why are you so desperate to own a house right now?

SmrBrd2012 · April 2014

The beer issue is also striking to me. Is it at least craft beer? My H tends to overspend on good quality beer which can amount to ~$100 a month but we both drink it. $500 just seems crazy to me, especially if he has health problems. Maybe you should do a budget where you write down every single expense in a month and that way he can see how ridiculous his beer budget is in comparison to other expenses...

JoanE2012 · April 2014

sbusic said:

Well, at one time it was almost $500 a month on beer, seeing this I brought it to attention and told him it needed only be on weekends. Not only does it hurt the pocket book but it hurts the health. He has high blood pressure and I finally got him to go see the doctors to get it looked at and while in the room with him and the doctor I asked what effect does alcohol have on his blood pressure and the doctor said that it's best to stay away... Has he listened, NO.

I like your idea on listing out what is "extra" and asking about giving up on those items, I think I will try that. Although, the list is small...with our budget the amount that he spends now ranges 50-60 a week...I'd like to see it only be 20-30 a week...if that... I've tried to do a budget tracker but he never looks at it, I'm almost to the point where I want to just give him a weekly allowance and he can use it as he wants....but I really don't want to go to that. We don't have kids yet and I don't want to have to treat him as one.

$500 a month? $6,000 a year on beer? It sounds like he's an alcoholic and needs help. I'd definitively rethink buying a house now. If he's not willing to get help, I'd also be rethinking the marriage.

I'll further add.....lots of things can go wrong or break with houses, so you'll need money for these things. You'll need money to buy things you never had to before (ie lawn equipment). You'll want money to buy things for the inside to make it a home. You'll want money to have a life outside of the house. If your budget just has you getting by, you need to lower your price point when looking at houses. You don't want be house poor. Good luck!

first time home buyer

Re: first time home buyer

Choose Another Board

Search Boards