Family Matters
MtnLvr109
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Finally Confronted my MIL about pop-ins
Hi Nesters! So as many of you on here know, I've had a LOT of issues with my MIL in the past. Specifically, her popping in and trying to pawn my niece and nephew on me. A couple of Fridays ago, I was home alone, didn't know that she and the kids were going to be popping in (she didn't call or text, like usual) and they just walked into my house! As you can imagine, I was PISSED. 1st - who doesn't call to say they're coming by and 2nd - who just walks into someone's house, especially when they didn't even know you were coming over. I could have been naked and doing some freaky-deaky stuff! I literally stood there with my arms crossed over my chest and gave her dirty looks the entire time she was there. So, I was fuming about it for a few hours and after a glass or 2 of wine, decided to finally confront her. I know some might consider this the weak way of confronting, but I texted her and nicely said "I don't mind if you and the kids stop by to say hi every once in a while, but I would really appreciate it if you could call or text first. I really don't like the pop-ins and it puts me on the spot when you just stop by because you know the kids are going to beg to stay and then I have to be the bad guy telling them no they can't stay." If you knew my MIL, you'd understand that it is impossible to confront her to her face or even on the phone because she constantly tries to brush it off, will just ignore what you say, or she'll try to twist things around. So a few days later, we were at a family dinner and my SIL and her boyfriend were talking about their new place they just moved into. The boyfriend told MIL she should stop by sometime and see the place. She replies (keep in mind I'm standing right behind her) "OH NO, I don't DARE pop in!" So I brushed it off, kind of laughed about it. I find out that since then she's been talking crap about me behind my back telling the family that I refuse to babysit the kids! I'm dumbfounded because that is not at all what I said to her. She has a problem respecting our boundaries and she needed to be put in her place. Now she's going around acting like SHE'S the victim! Part of me laughs about this, and the other part of me just thinks she's immature and pathetic. Seriously, what 50-something year old acts like this?!?!
Re: Finally Confronted my MIL about pop-ins
And I'm sure I asked this before- WHERE is your DH in this? For the fact that she's now bad mouthing you, he needs to step in and deal with her.
But, I'd also bet you that everyone is perfectly aware of what she's like and when she's claiming you "refuse" to babysit, they may be thinking "Good for her for standing up".
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
On some issues, sure, fight your own fight. Her popping in? Yes, actually, it's probably best for you to handle it in the moment But she's bad mouthing you to the entire family. YOU are the bad guy now and she's spreading crap about you. This is why I say HE needs to help you out here. This is his mom. HE needs to tell her "she's my wife and expect you to treat her w/ respect".
Seriously.
YOU aren't putting him in the middle. I'd say that his mom is and HE is. I'm sure he knows perfectly well what she's like and he's choosing to stick his head in the sand over it.
Which really is the other issue here. His mother barging in and then bad mouthing you is going to tear you apart if you talk to him about it??? Really??? This very much tells me that this is a DH problem too. He ignores what his mom does even though it's wrong but YOU end up being the bad guy with him too- because you dare to question his mom.
That's not fair to you. At all.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10