Roommates or no roommates?

BriJohns11 · February 2014

My boyfriend and I are getting a civil union this August (he's not religious so doesn't want to get married, and I'm okay with that) and then moving in together. We currently live about 1 hour apart and I will be moving down to where he is right now. We have signed a lease to live with two other people, both friends of his, but recently my boyfriend has been having problems with one of the guys we are supposed to live with in August.

I have been sort of reluctant to live with this person just because he is a few years younger than us (I'm 23, my boyfriend is 25 and his friend is 20) which isn't a big deal, but he also does not have much life experience which makes him prone to arguing and always having to be right. The roommates he has right now have issues with him because he has basically taken over the communal living room as his own, leaving his stuff out there constantly and smoking his hooka and weed. Even though his roommates hate that he does this, he will not stop and acts like since he pays rent he should be able to do what he wants. I am not okay with that.

My boyfriend and I have spoken about this he says he told his friend that he cannot smoke hooka in the living room and can't keep all his stuff out there all the time and apparently he has agreed to that but I'm not so sure he will keep that promise. More than once my boyfriend has said (after an argument) that he just wants to get off the lease and get a place for the two of us but never follows through. It would be easier to have roommates to cut down on rent, but I'm nervous about having issues with this friend of his in the future.

What should I do??

Disneygeek77 · February 2014

Find you own place. Your privacy and having a peaceful home is priceless.

Erikan73 · February 2014

Tough it out until the end of the lease, this way you are not sticking it to the other roommate that you get along with. In the mean time figure out if you want to continue to live with the other roommate or just the two of you. Pro to roommate is the financial part of it, the con is that you two will only have privacy when you are in your own bedroom. Once the two of you decide that, if you want to move out on your own, you let both roommates know that at the end of the lease you plan on getting an apartment for just the two of you. If you want to keep the one roommate, then you just need to let the other roommate know that once the lease is over that the living arrangement is going to change and either the 3 of you are moving out or he is being kicked out. But try to be nice about & figure it sooner then later, this way the one roommate, or both have time to find other living arrangements depending on what you and FI decide to do.

TarponMonoxide · February 2014

No roommates, ever.

Get a place you and he can easily afford to pay for yourselves.

Kimbus22 · February 2014

No roommates. Especially when you're having issues before you even move in.

flagchic · February 2014

"The roommates he has right now have issues with him because he has basically taken over the communal living room as his own, leaving his stuff out there constantly and smoking his hooka and weed." Check your lease and landlord/tenant laws. If the roommate on the lease is doing drugs or anything illegal in the apartment, all leaseholders can be liable, i.e. evicted and held responsible for costs, damages, etc. I work in property management in Arizona, and I know leases and laws can all be different, but the property I work at is a very strict drug/crime free community. We actually do have roommate situations where this happens- one roommate or even a guest of a roommate is ticketed or arrested for underage drinking or smoking pot on property, everybody is evicted due to this violation. It's just AWFUL for a renter's credit. If I were you, I'd definitely not get into a lease with somebody I didn't know, let alone a person I know did drugs in the apartment. Yes, this person pays rent and will do "what they want" in the apartment, but there's no way I'd want to be liable for somebody else's poor choices.

moonprincessd · February 2014

If you're going to be getting a union, no room mates. You should get your own place, just you two.

biojess · February 2014

I vote for no roommates, in general. However, I spent an awesome summer living with a lovely couple. I was in college; they're about 8 years older. We're still friends. They had a house that was larger than they needed, and rented out the spare room. So, if y'all would like a roommate to help alleviate financial issues, choose one together that you both like.

Tofumonkey · February 2014

Meh - We've got a roommate. And we have young kids. It depends on you, your situation, your finances, where you live...

We live in London. Very expensive. We can easily afford our home without the roommate, but we like the extra cash going into savings each month. We have an extra room, why not? We often get students in renting a room, or young grads just starting out. We had roommates at a few of our flats in China as well - more so because it was fun, we certainly didn't need the money. But where we lived we generally had other single expat women living with us as we weren't in a major expat city and it was just safer to live in groups at that time. Plus it was hella fun, oh man.

So it depends on your situation, your finances and why you are bringing in a roommate to me.

beetee123 · April 2014

If there is any possible way that you can get out of this lease I definitely would before you even go through the stress of moving in together. SO and I made the same mistake in getting a roommate because we thought we wouldn't have the money on our own. Turns out that we would be just fine on our own, but now we are stuck with this guy until August. He is also a friend of my SO's, and he was so much different as a friend than as a roommate. We are stuck cleaning up after him and dealing with his issues for another 5 months or so, and we can't wait until he is gone! We would move out right now, but our names would remain on the lease, and I don't trust him to pay rent on time since I have to write him "bills" like a baby just to get him to pay his part. We save about $450 per month having him here which is great, but totally not worth the stress!

Sillygirl45 · April 2014

Tofumonkey said:

Meh - We've got a roommate. And we have young kids. It depends on you, your situation, your finances, where you live...

We live in London. Very expensive. We can easily afford our home without the roommate, but we like the extra cash going into savings each month. We have an extra room, why not? We often get students in renting a room, or young grads just starting out. We had roommates at a few of our flats in China as well - more so because it was fun, we certainly didn't need the money. But where we lived we generally had other single expat women living with us as we weren't in a major expat city and it was just safer to live in groups at that time. Plus it was hella fun, oh man.

So it depends on your situation, your finances and why you are bringing in a roommate to me.

If I ever become a divorcé who can afford to travel abroad, I am soooo renting a room from @Tofumonkey. That is the only way I would have a roommate! ^:)^

Tofumonkey · April 2014

LOL! You'd be more than welcome if you ever came to London (and don't turn out to be a serial killer, of course)

Sillygirl45 · April 2014

Tofumonkey said:

LOL! You'd be more than welcome if you ever came to London (and don't turn out to be a serial killer, of course)

Hee,hee...Of course not. Just a bored midwest housewife!

GilliC · April 2014

I've stayed at chez @tofumonkey and can highly recommend it! Never a dull moment!

I got the Linda Blair special: a surprise projectile child vomit attack!

Sillygirl45 · April 2014

GilliC said:

I've stayed at chez @tofumonkey and can highly recommend it! Never a dull moment!

I got the Linda Blair special: a surprise projectile child vomit attack!

Awe, how can I be jealous of that...but I am! If I ever become a wealthy divorcé (this may require another, more well thought out marriage...hee hee...) you two are going to my travel gurus. I feel so lame that the most awesome trips I've taken are across the country and Alaska...though they were both pretty awesome!

Tofumonkey · April 2014

GilliC said:

I've stayed at chez @tofumonkey and can highly recommend it! Never a dull moment!

I got the Linda Blair special: a surprise projectile child vomit attack!

Ah yes.The exorcist twin-puke all over GilliC in the back of the car while flying down the busy motorway on our way to the best Chinese food EVER.

As you do, right?

formerlyGDaisy09 · April 2014

we're getting a roommate this summer, we have an extra bedroom and bathroom and it never hurts to have a little extra $$ to put aside. But we always have the option to not have a roommate, and that is key to our happiness. We will often host short-term roomies, medical students doing away rotations, traveling nurses, etc. most only need housing for a month or two and are willing to pay a little extra for a furnished room and to be less than 3 miles from the medical center. They're also all older, professional, responsible people who really just need a place to crash between their 12 hour day/night shifts.

I would not recommend moving into a place where you're dependent on the roommate to make rent.

**edited because it's monday and my brain left out some words.

Tofumonkey · April 2014

Plus it's never a bad idea to have a personal on-call doctor in the house.

formerlyGDaisy09 · April 2014

haha! exactly....granted I work in medical research and work in a large academic medical center...so I spend my life around doctors

Roommates or no roommates?

Re: Roommates or no roommates?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards