Is it crazy for me to put TTC on hold because of this?

kid81 · April 2014

Hello! I'm new here- TTC our first since 2012. H and I are pretty easygoing about it and not at all worried that it hasn't happened yet. We are 30.

Found out this month that H's high-school-age niece is pregnant with her manipulative 20-something-year old boyfriend of 6 months who pressured her into having a baby. They are "very happy" while everyone else in the family is very concerned.

I can't really say that I'm jealous, but I can't help having this feeling that I no longer want to TTC while she is pregnant. I just really don't want to be pregnancy buddies with a teenager, KWIM?

The family will be dealing with her, and it's not like I would want all the attention on me while I'm pregnant (quite the opposite, actually), but I think I would be bothered with any comparisons to her. Lots of others in the family are at the age where we're all having babies and I've never felt anything but happy for any of them, and have never thought I wouldn't want to be pregnant at the same time as them.

Plus, there's a lot of negativity swirling around niece's situation, that obviously would not apply to me if I were pregnant, which would probably cause further strain between niece and her family members who she's fighting to be happy for her. I just want nothing to do with the drama.

I feel like I must be crazy for wanting to put my life on hold due to this "happy accident", but with that being said, I mentioned my feelings to my H and he kind of feels the same way. (No deep discussion, just, "I really don't feel like going through pregnancy at the same time as her.")

RockABye · April 2014

I personally don't think there are any dumb reasons to hold off on TTC. There are only dumb reasons to go forward with TTC in some situations (not that you have any, from what I can tell!

) I don't blame you for wanting to wait. It sounds like it might be Drama City for the next 9 months and who'd want to deal with that? If you feel like waiting a little bit and aren't concerned about waiting, then go for it! Maybe take a few months and then evaluate your feelings again? Maybe in 5-6 months, things will be different than you expected and y'all can move forward. GL!

kid81 · April 2014

Thanks!!

brij2006 · April 2014

Honestly, 2 of my friends were pregnant at the same time last year, and we held off TTC for a few more months so we wouldn't be pregnant with them. Pathedic reason? Yes. Do we regret it? Not a bit.

If you don't feel like it would be the right time to be pregnant, then hold off a few more months until she's closer to her due date.

mrshall1027 · April 2014

I agree. If you feel like it would be better for you and your H to hold off, for whatever reason, then do so.

abt8113 · April 2014

Exactly what rockabye said. There are no silly reasons to stop TTC. If you feel like right now isn't the tine, then you shouldn't do it. I would make a plan to look at it again in a couple of months to see if your feelings change. I don't blame you for not wanting to be a part of the drama.

Uptowngirl2009 · April 2014

(PR)

Right now I am pregnant along with two others in DH's family and a bunch of my coworkers are also pregnant. Am I sad to have to "share the spotlight?" A little bit...but I am glad that we didn't wait. We had already been trying for over a year and I wouldn't have wanted to put it on hold since I didn't know how much longer it would have taken us.

But as PPs said there is no bad reason to put TTC on hold. If that's how you feel and your DH is on board with it then go with your gut!

Is it crazy for me to put TTC on hold because of this?

Re: Is it crazy for me to put TTC on hold because of this?

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