Cleaning & Organizing
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
It's just shoes!
We are a shoe free home, ingrained in me from my childhood and my years living overseas. Why can;'t people respect our wishes and just take their dmned shoes off when they come over. My inlaws think i'm crazy even after my husband has asked them to not wear their dirty shoes in my home! and they still do it! My father in law says i'm too emotional and need to get over it!
I'm at home recovering from thyrpid sugery so i can't move too much and yet my inlaws and their relatives have popped by to visit and they are all wearing shoes!
why can't epople just respect your wishes?!
is it me? haha
Re: It's just shoes!
I feel you. It is a battle I will lose, but I am hoping I can at least say no shoes in the 3rd floor.
My ILs understand. My parents don't.
What I have done for parties is to have a specifc mat placed by the door and as guests come in I say, "May I take your coat? etc. Oh and we're placing shoes on the mat over there."
I don't ask. I tell them. And, I also place a pair of our own on teh mat so they can see that it is already being used and that "some other guest" already removed their shoes.
I can't even imagine walking into someone else's home and not taking my shoes off. Even if someone tells me that I can leave my shoes on, I take them off.
Although my in-laws do not respect our wishes to remove shoes in our home. We have white carpet in the living room, and re-finished Victorian hardwood that we are very proud of. So I am a stickler about shoes.
Here are a couple of different ideas for signs that you could hang up on your door or entryway.
"Leave your worries (and shoes) at the door." We have this as a cute sign in our entryway next to a bench and rack of shoes.
"Keep our home neat. No shoes on your feet."
"Life is made up of choices. Take your shoes off, or scrub the floor."
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brij- we have the last one on a cute little sign next to a basket of brand new slippers, flip flops and socks in many sizes and colors.:) and the best part is you can take them when you go! and still my inlaws just look at me and dare me to say anything.
we too put in hardwood and lighter caroet upstairs. as a joke i bought shoe covers for my father in law because he comes by sometimes to give my h a hand on our nedroom remodel and wears the nastiest shoes he can find. he just gives me a look and heads right up my stairs.
it's a losing battle. and so i drink wine:)
The concept of taking your shoes off in someone's house was a foreign concept to me until I met my in-laws who require guests to remove their shoes in their house. No one seems to have a problem with it and now I instinctively take off my shoes when I go to their house.
I do however discourage people from taking their shoes off in my house since the floors aren't cleaned often.
Maybe some people are self concious about their feet and would rather wear shoes. However when you're in someone's house you should honor the host's wishes to keep their home clean.
I hear you. But at least for me it's a sanitation issue. People walk through all kinds of bad stuff every day...oils, trash, mud, germs...hospital floors...I don't want that stuff tracked into my home.
I think there will come a point to which you just have to ask them to leave if they can't take off their shoes.
I live in Japan where wearing shoes indoors is unheard of. Guests are offered slippers to wear in the house. What if you got some slippers for your guests? Maybe that would put them at ease?
funny thing is we do...
a basket of brand new slippers, flip flops and socks in many sizes and colors.:) and the best part is you can take them when you go!
we actually lost a friend because she just thought i was so ridiculous and no one was going to tell her what to do.
i grew up in a 'shoe' house, but i'm a kind of person who HATES wearing shoes (as soon as the snow is gone, i'm in my flip flops!). I always take my shoes off at other people's homes unless we're partying outside or i'm told to leave them on.
our home has new beige carpet, so people have been pretty good about taking their shoes off -- especially since they see me with no shoes on around my house and a few pairs of our shoes at the door.
Every once in awhile someone keeps them on (me too, since we have to walk through most of our house to get to the garage and there isnt a good 'shoe spot' there.), and I just make sure to vacuum within a day or so. It's tough to remind people...but i figure if they're REALLY animate about leaving them on, and you're THAT worried about it -- what about those hospital bootie type covers?
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I think we all have to show a little love and understanding towards other people, their cultures, and their backgrounds.
I do think that when you enter another person's home it is respectful to abide by their requests, and I am always happy to remove my shoes when asked. I grew up in a home where we took off our shoes, but we didn't demand it from our guests, and this is how I run my home today. We have a shoe area near our front door, and guests are welcome to take off their shoes if they feel comfortable doing so. I do understand, however, that there are people that feel uncomfortable removing their shoes (either for cultural, or personal/embarrassing reasons), and would rather keep them on.
I realize that as a host, it is my responsibility to clean up after a visit, and a little extra vacuuming or cleaning is probably a good idea anyway. Since you're recovering, cnderella, maybe you could enlist some extra help from your husband, or a friend...or even your in-laws (maybe once they see that you need help cleaning right now, they'll be more inclined to make less of a mess!).
People have posted about slippers that they provide, and shoe covers, and I think these are all wonderful ideas. I don't think that it's wrong to ask guests to remove, or cover their shoes. As a host, the thing to keep in mind is this: if a guest does not want to remove their shoes, and they are quite persistent, what do you value more? The person, or your floors? Once you figure this out, the rest is easy. If you value the person more, then happily allow them to wear their shoes. If you value your floors more, ask them to leave.
In life, it's generally a good idea to treat others with consideration, regardless of your role, or theirs - host, or guest. When both parties are stubborn, neither wins.
I visited a no shoe home once, and rather than them asking me to take my shoes off, they made a statement so it wasn't optional, and I didn't feel uncomfortable at all. This is how it went: Hi there, welcome, come on in, we leave shoes right here at the door.
This didn't make me feel comfortable at all, but also let me know that they would like their rules to be respected even by their guests, which I was ok with.
Of course with rain, mud or snow, I don't trod through someone's house with my boots on, I carry slippers to change into, but in the Northeast most of us should be aware of this anyway?
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Living in Canada I always wondered why people on TV never took their shoes off when they entered a home. I would be more than offended if my guest wanted to wear their shoes in my house. I have only ever had to ask one person (the lady from Welcome Wagon mind-you) to remove her shoes. If I'm just popping in or out with someone I will casually just say leave your shoes on.
Growing up we were taught that if you keep your shoes on it means you think the house is to dirty to walk in and as such is an insult.
I would hate to live in the USofA (or anywhere else) where people just traipsing around outside then track all that crap into my nice clean house.
My family never made shoes a big deal when I grew up. My father never took his shoes off ever, and my mom was always barefoot, but she left her shoes all over the house. I didn't really think about it much unless I went to a friend's house. I always took my shoes off at others' houses automatically. Now that I'm an adult with my own home, I know how it can be important to someone who cleans those floors and couches. I noticed our female friends tend to take their shoes off, but our male friends tend to leave them on, even when literally dirty. My husband never takes his off either and I've argued with him about it millions of times. I do agree with otterJ on this one. Speak your mind, but weigh your options here. Is this issue really worth ruining a visit from family or a few friends? That goes for the visitors as well, of course.