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feeling frustrated...

I recently moved to a new state with my DH. It's not very far from where we lived before...about one hour, hour and 15 with traffic. Still I think the idea of me being in a different state is deterring my friends from visiting. I should mention, we live very close to a train station so even those that don't have cars could get here within 2 hours. I am feeling kind of lonely and getting anxious that I'm going to not be invited to things as much, or get forgotten about cause I'm so "far away". :(  Plus it doesn't seem very easy to meet new people here, because it's so much more secluded than NYC. :(

I'm especially frustrated because I've tried for the past month to get my best friend to come visit. She just got married two months ago and I was her maid of honor. I busted my ass for her wedding, had to organize (and pay) for a big portion of the bridal shower, bachelorette, and also made a lot of special things for the wedding. Basically I feel like I really went above and beyond for her special day, and now it's like impossible to get her to come see our new place. I feel like there's always an excuse. I don't get invited to things she's doing in the city because "oh, I didn't think you'd be able to get here in time". Geez, all I need is like a day's notice! I don't know if I should tell her that I'm feeling a little hurt or maybe she's just in her newlywed phase and isn't making much time for friends. I am trying to have faith that our friendship is solid, but it would be nice to talk a bit more often. I feel like I"m making the effort to keep in touch but she isn't.
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Re: feeling frustrated...

  • What if you go back to the city on your own and then later when you are talking to your friends casually talk about what you did in the city. After a while it will occur to them that the distance is not a big deal for you. 
  • Funny thing is, I still WORK in the city! I commute there 4 days a week. I forgot to mention that I proposed meeting in the city after work a few times, and she even had an excuse for why she couldn't do that either. I'm trying all sorts of scenarios on how we can get together but she just has a "no" for everything lately. That's why I wonder if its more due to the fact that she's just newly married maybe? I dunno. I'm ready to stop asking and just let her come around when she is ready. I guess we both are going through big adjustments. Sigh. 
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  • Sometimes it's amazing how little distance it takes for your "friends" to stop hanging out with you. :(
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • You've been making an effort to get together. Maybe her & new hubby are still working out a routine as husband & wife. I would probably stop with the invites for a while but still email, call or text her to keep in touch. If she isn't able to talk, emails just to say hi, how are you may be more ideal as she can respond when she has a few minutes. Hopefully shortly her schedule will lighten up and she'll be able to get together.
  • Thanks Erikan73! I'm hoping it's nothing personal. I mean, I don't see any reason why it would be, especially after she was so happy w. all the stuff I did for her wedding. I guess it's just bad timing. But it's kind of a relief to read that from someone else, as I think I'm starting to over think it and take it to heart. I will do what you mentioned, and just lighten up on the invites, and just maybe send a funny email here and there til she lets me know when she is available.
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