Mother in Law emtoional

lpavlas · April 2014

Let me first say I love my mother in law. But just like my own mother, she does things that drive me crazy. She is very sentimental and emotional. She loves her family dearly, as do I. I'm very close with my grandfather and my husband and I have had discussions about what we would name our child when we have one. I would like to name him after my grandfather and when i told my husband this his words were "oh that won't happen. my mom would get her feelings so hurt cause we wouldn't name him after her dad" and she would. But I cannot help it if my husband isn't as close to his grandfather as I am to mine.

This may all eventually be a moo point because we may end up having all girls. haha. How would ya'll handle a situation like this?

catmiss9 · April 2014

Don't worry about it til the time comes. And don't reveal the name til after the baby arrives. That's what we did and everyone was too concerned with getting a turn to hold our new baby vs his name. And your baby is yours to name...your MIL had her chance with your DH.

Leftie22 · April 2014

Well, your DH shouldn't be putting his mother's wishes above yours, so I'd be having a talk with him when the time came. The way I see it, a lot of men get to give children their last name, so the first names should be up to the women!

My DH's family dropped hints about us naming our son after his grandfather, but I'd never even met him and from what I'd heard from DH, he wasn't such a great guy. Instead, we named our son after an inventor we both admire. Ha ha. We just had a daughter and gave her a middle name that honors a wonderful great-aunt on my side. Make your own rules, and don't let your MIL affect what you name your child. Mom overrules grandma.

cloudymeatballs · April 2014

Exactly what @leftie22 said... Your kid your name! Nobody else has to approve, just you two. I get it, my DH gets the last name, and the middle for our 1st boy, if we have one. They have this thing they all do, men on his side. So, the 1st name, I get it. Lol Mom overrules Grandma!

^^

Janimal · April 2014

It's a moo point? Like a cow's opinion?

TarponMonoxide · April 2014

lpavlas said:

Let me first say I love my mother in law. But just like my own mother, she does things that drive me crazy. She is very sentimental and emotional. She loves her family dearly, as do I. I'm very close with my grandfather and my husband and I have had discussions about what we would name our child when we have one.

I would like to name him after my grandfather and when i told my husband this his words were "oh that won't happen. my mom would get her feelings so hurt cause we wouldn't name him after her dad" and she would.

He is supposed to be a team with you and you and HE are supposed to decide what to name a child. Not anybody else, however indirectly.

Nip this in the bud now; see a counselor if you have to: he has to back you in everything and vice versa.

But I cannot help it if my husband isn't as close to his grandfather as I am to mine. This may all eventually be a moot point because we may end up having all girls. haha. How would ya'll handle a situation like this?

Learn your lesson:

From here on in, you keep a conversation like this one between you and your H.

And make sure nobody else outside of the 2 of you is privy to the conversation's topic.

Name the kiddo anything you want. Anything goes these days.

You may not have kiddoes at all; you and/or he may change your mind or other circumstances may not allow....cross the bridge when you come to it.

Savanna111911 · April 2014

I wouldn't let it cause any drama if it doesn't have to yet. As you said, you may not even have a son, you may have all girls.

That being said, when the time comes it is your child, not your MILs. DH and I have already decided that when we have kids we likely won't tell either of our mothers what we plan to name the child until he or she is born. That way we won't have to deal with people trying to talk us out of it if they don't like it, etc.

TarponMonoxide · April 2014

J

TarponMonoxide · April 2014

There are also female versions of male names: Michelle, Michaela, Petra, Frances, Georgina/Georgia, to name a few.

Unliess you're from something like a Greek family where it is a must that you name a child after a grandparent, name the kiddo anything you want. I myself prefer nature names: Tree, Rainbow, Skye or River.:)

Ilumine · April 2014

Let me ask you this, taking MIL out of the equation, would your DH want to use that name?

Because the whole "they get to give the last name spiel" is just that unless the OP did not take her husband's last name. Then its a moot point because OP has tacitly agreed upon the last name as the way to go and now both the Mother and Father start as equals in the name game.

So what DOES your DH really think about the name?

VOR · April 2014

Well, first, it's "moot". Second - if your DH makes this about his MOTHERS feelings, you need to read him the riot act. I think both parents need to be involved inthe naming of their child. But this doesn't mean based on their mommies feelings. This is YOUr child, not hers. Your feelings better damn well come before his mommies. If it doesn't- then you have bigger issues.

TarponMonoxide · April 2014

VOR said:

Well, first, it's "moot". Second - if your DH makes this about his MOTHERS feelings, you need to read him the riot act. I think both parents need to be involved inthe naming of their child. But this doesn't mean based on their mommies feelings. This is YOUr child, not hers. Your feelings better damn well come before his mommies. If it doesn't- then you have bigger issues.

This is what I was saying: in every single thing, he needs to be behind his wife 100% and be a team with her.

What's in a name?

What's in an issue? Indeed he'd better make sure you come first; I'd squelch this "oh but my mother will be so upset" bullshit if I were you and do it right now. Because the "name" isn't going to be the only thing that is an issue when it comes to your MIL. This is an H problem, not a MIL problem.

Tofumonkey · April 2014

Janimal said:

It's a moo point? Like a cow's opinion?

Aaaaaand now there is yogurt on my computer screen.

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