October 2012 Weddings
chasemamabear
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
my husband just told me he doesnt care about himself :(
As you guys know I've been having marital issues for a while now. Things were getting better recently and starting to turn around and then today happened. I have never felt more disrespected by him, but that it not what this post is about, this post is about what happened during our conversation about today's events.
After a very long conversation it came out that my husband thinks that it is not only perfectly normal for a couple to argue daily, but that it is normal to never have an entire day in which you are happy throughout. He says as long as he can remember he has always had negative feelings daily. As someone who has suffered with depression multiple times and someone who has seasonal affective disorder I tried explaining to him that those things are not healthy, nor are they normal. He came back with " well it's normal to me"
After talking further and after I made the suggestion that he should look into seeing a counselor he told me one of the most hurtful things he could have said. He old me he doesn't care about himself. Suddenly so much makes sense but he does not see it as a problem. I am st a loss. How do you help someone who doesn't think they have a problem??
He said he isn't having suicidal thoughts and I do believe him but I also know that as a teenager he was very close to attempting suicide and it scares me. I really don't know what to do. I am absolutely shattered over this
After a very long conversation it came out that my husband thinks that it is not only perfectly normal for a couple to argue daily, but that it is normal to never have an entire day in which you are happy throughout. He says as long as he can remember he has always had negative feelings daily. As someone who has suffered with depression multiple times and someone who has seasonal affective disorder I tried explaining to him that those things are not healthy, nor are they normal. He came back with " well it's normal to me"
After talking further and after I made the suggestion that he should look into seeing a counselor he told me one of the most hurtful things he could have said. He old me he doesn't care about himself. Suddenly so much makes sense but he does not see it as a problem. I am st a loss. How do you help someone who doesn't think they have a problem??
He said he isn't having suicidal thoughts and I do believe him but I also know that as a teenager he was very close to attempting suicide and it scares me. I really don't know what to do. I am absolutely shattered over this
Re: my husband just told me he doesnt care about himself :(
I grew up with a mom who was clinically depressed and she still struggles with it now. One thing I have learned is to make sure if they want to talk about it, you drop everything and let them talk it out. It is such an internal thing and if they are coming to you with something, it had to have taken a lot, so I am always very aware that it is difficult for them and to ensure they have my full attention.
Keeping you in my T&P!
H was depressed after a few months of dating. He was still struggling with ptsd from Iraq and his ex leaving him. We were talking one day and I blurted out that I don't think he knows how to be happy. It struck a nerve with him, and He started individual therapy and we went to a couples counselor when we got engaged. I can't say how much that helped us and him.
I guess I'm singing counseling praises and that fact he has to want to go.
*Big hug* I don't really have anything else to add. Everyone else has given great advice. The biggest challenge is getting him to go to counseling. I would ask, other than not caring about himself, why he doesn't want to go. I'm so sorry you are going through this!
If over time he still won't go would an ultimatum be worth it or would it make things worse??