Only One After 3T

islandmonkey8 · April 2014

I thought this was an interesting read. Both heartbreaking and inspiring at the same time.

Any opinions?

Aimothy · April 2014

I'm very much on board with only having one at this point. I can't keep spending my life savings to have more than one. I would love more than one, but at this point will be 100% complete with having one baby.

DangerMuffin23 · April 2014

PR RELATED: I appreciate her honesty. We were honestly not supposed to be able to get pregnant without intervention. We've discussed what should happen after this baby is born. I honestly don't know that I'd be willing to undergo very much tx to have another child. I know how incredibly lucky we are to even have one. I'm not going to my grave shaking my fist at not having more than one. If this is what I'm given, I am so incredibly grateful. I wouldn't be willing to sacrifice our marriage and the life we could give our one child struggling to have another. I was willing, of course, to do whatever it took to have one. Whatever it took.

sweetpotato123 · April 2014

After paying for our upcoming IVF yesterday and wAiting for the pharmacy to call back with the med prices, I doubt we could do more than one more go. At this point, we would be elated with one.

RockABye · April 2014

I almost feel guilty saying this, but I really think I'd have a hard time if I only had one. I know that sounds terrible, but I'm just being honest. I have nothing against only children (DH is one), but as someone who always wanted 6 or more, stopping at 1 seems so strange. The way I see it, I'm only 33 so I have a lot of years left (hopefully) to get a handful of kids. Whatever happens, happens though. And, of course, my thoughts may totally change over time and I'm ok with that. I just know that at this point in my life, I would not be ready to give up on multiple kids. I would never ever look down on, judge or whatever anyone who opted for only one (or none, for that matter). It's such a personal thing, that is there no wrong answer.

amandaf6383 · April 2014

First, what a heartbreaking story. I can only imagine the guilt she felt (unwarranted, of course). Second, this is something that Tom and I talk about a lot, especially with IVF looming in our future. I come from a pretty big Italian family and he comes from a pretty big Irish/Italian family. I always thought that multiple kids was a no-brainer. At one point I wanted four.

Honestly, 3T has made it so that while I would looooooooooove two or more, I would be extremely and incredibly grateful for one. Just one soul to love and raise and cherish. Hopefully we end up with more but I think we would only do numerous IVF rounds for one.

seahorse01 · April 2014

I am not in a good place to comment on this right now.

caseyandlizzie · April 2014

I'm so beyond grateful for my son, but I'm not ready to go down the road of trying for another one any time soon. I'm terrified that I'll end up having several more miscarriages, and I don't think I can deal with that. I would like him to have a sibling, because he will have no cousins, but I can't think about going down that heartbreaking road again.

brij2006 · April 2014

My heart breaks for her story and all of the emotions she had to have felt and gone through. I can't even imagine.

Like RAB, I'm not giving up on the idea of more than 1. However that may come. I've always wanted a larger family, and that may not happen for us. But I want to continue trying for more after 1. Even if it means getting some assistance in order to make that happen.

islandmonkey8 · April 2014

Not judging - just curious - Those of you who said you wouldn't go through treatment again for #2 (or more), do you think you would TTA or NTNP? Don't share if you don't want to or just don't know. I really am just curious.

brij2006 · April 2014

PR

@islandmonkey8 I know I wasn't one who said we would stop after 1, but after our BFP with the round of Clomid we discussed this. We knew it was unlikely that my body would have regular cycles again, and at that time we were okay with only having 1 child. We had planned to NTNP after baby was born, but not get assistance to get pregnant again.

poppies717 · April 2014

LR at end

We are NTNP, so if we are lucky enough to get pregnant, we will be thrilled. We are committed to adopting our first at this point, but we're not stopping anything from happening. If I had not lost Poppyseed, we would have probably stopped after one and NTNP.

sgautschi · May 2014

This is so heartbreaking. I wish it was as easy as saying how many kids you want and getting that many exactly when you want them. It's not fair that it isn't that way for so many women.

PR/BR

I know I am not technically 3T, but having a diagnosis of PCOS and endometriosis makes me feel very fortunate I have one child. I am scared I just got lucky with her and it won't happen again for us. My mom was 3T (with the same DX I have) and it took her a minimum of 1.5 years to conceive each of her children, 5 years with my youngest sister. DH and I have decided that we won't pursue treatment if it's needed for the next one unless it's covered by insurance (I have no idea if my insurance covers anything).

Flamingo86 · May 2014

100% on board with one and done. The only exception would be if we came across a sibling/twin adoption situation that we felt strongly about pursuing.

I plan on getting my tubes tied once we adopt our child.

That being said, I have always thought I might only have one child. Being 3T just solidified that belief.

nfp147 · May 2014

PR/BR:

I appreciate this author's honesty. I'm sad for moms-to-be and new moms who don't have a perfect pregnancy or don't feel how they are "supposed to". As more of my close girlfriends become moms, I realize how much pressure there is to be absolutely elated at all times and how much guilt there is if you feel a speck scared, apprehensive, or unsure.

Our age and the trouble we faced made it evident pretty early on that we would likely only have one, if any. Ten years ago I would never have imagined how much DH and I would give up.

tdmd09 · May 2014

caseyandlizzie said:

I'm so beyond grateful for my son, but I'm not ready to go down the road of trying for another one any time soon. I'm terrified that I'll end up having several more miscarriages, and I don't think I can deal with that. I would like him to have a sibling, because he will have no cousins, but I can't think about going down that heartbreaking road again.

This is me exactly. DH wants more than one, I'm on the fence, not so much because I don't want another child, but because I don't know if I can handle the TTC roller coaster, risk of miscarriage, risk of chromosome problems, risk of preterm labor, etc. etc. etc.

Only One After 3T

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