Family Matters
kbtolentino
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Issues with In-laws
Re: Issues with In-laws
Do as I suggested:
You and he discuss this topic and he tells them "Sorry but my wife and I vacation together. I will NOT be attending a vacation without her any time soon."
And that should solve the problem.
Your H is the bigger problem here:
HE needs to be taking YOUR side.
This is a cultural issue --- see a counselor who has experience handling cultural issues -- and the bullshit with speaking SPanish in front of you needs to GO.
He'd better start manning up or I see a divorce in your future.
Asking you if you should be using chopsticks to eat Subway?
Ask them this: "Shouldn't you be eating rice and beans with what you're eating?"
See how they like that one.
Wow, I'm sorry you're going through this. My DH and I are from different cultural backgrounds, and have had similar problems. The thing is, your DH isn't neutral, because you're being insulted and hurt. By saying nothing, he's really making the statement that he's not going to stand up for you. He needs to know that his family's behavior is hurtful, and make it clear that his loyalty is to you. His family doesn't have to love you, but they have to treat you with respect and not pit your husband against you. (By asking him on a trip without you.) My DH struggled to establish good boundaries with his family, and it's been a work in progress, but at least I see him trying. Counselling really helped us. It helped DH to realize that he needed to make me and our kids his priority, and stand up to his family when they were being rude. (Including speaking a language that I don't understand right in front of me. Sounds like yours do the same.) Stand up for yourself and let your DH know that he is involved, whether he likes it or not, and he needs to find a way to deal with his family. It's not fair to leave it all up to you. Good luck, I wish you the best! It's a tough position to be in.