Two third shift parents?

t+is+me · May 2014

Straight to the point:

My husband and I are trying to decide if having children is right for us. We both work third shift and don't desire to work any other shifts, nor do we want to not see each other. I also don't want to have to quit my job; I love it, not to mention we can't afford it. We are both getting more on board with the idea of having children, except we can't figure out how to make the schedule work... Unless we have the baby in daycare for 16 hours a day, which obviously is not something we can or will do. Any ideas how we can make this work?

MH1006 · May 2014

Sometimes having kids means making sacrifices and working shifts you'd rather not work. Kids are such a pain sometimes.

Many people I know who work at night hire a trusted friend/college student/family member/etc to stay the night with their children. This works better with older children though, as when the kids are little you also need care during the day unless you and your hubby don't ever sleep. Don't know how possible it is in your situation, but one of you probably needs to suck it up for a few years and work a different shift until the kids are in school.

I've known people to hire a live-in nanny (like a college student who goes to class in the evenings but is home during the day and at night) but I hear it's expensive. Good luck.

cinderin · May 2014

My sister and her DH work different shifts. She is a nurse at a hospital and he is a fire fighter. They plan to hire a nanny or find someone with a very flexible home daycare.

nfp147 · May 2014

Hold on to your hats kids; I'm agreeing with @MH1006.

Kids = sacrifice.

If you aren't willing to change your shifts, perhaps you aren't ready.

tdmd09 · May 2014

I know you said you don't want to not see each other, but maybe you could look into scheduling your days opposite of each other (especially if you work 12 hour shifts) so someone is always home (and awake)? My DH is a firefighter (24 hour shifts) and I'm a nurse, and I took a position where I could self-schedule my days so they don't conflict with DH's. It's annoying to feel like a single parent a lot of the time, but with our erratic schedules, daycare wasn't really an option, so this is what we did. Once DS is old enough to be in school we will likely change up my schedule and/or my job to accommodate our family better.

BruinsBabe33 · May 2014

I work 4-midnight Dh works 4am-3pm. We don't see each other much, but the babe is always with one of us or a family member for about an hour. We make it work. I agree with MH, you need to be flexible and change it up of you want to have kids.

MH1006 · May 2014

nfp147 said:
Hold on to your hats kids; I'm agreeing with @MH1006.

Kids = sacrifice.

If you aren't willing to change your shifts, perhaps you aren't ready.

Thanks for contributing! Oh wait, you contributed nothing to this conversation. Thanks for paraphrasing, I guess.

nfp147 · May 2014

MH1006 said:

Hold on to your hats kids; I'm agreeing with @MH1006.

Kids = sacrifice.

If you aren't willing to change your shifts, perhaps you aren't ready.
Thanks for contributing! Oh wait, you contributed nothing to this conversation. Thanks for paraphrasing, I guess.

Hey! Thanks for showing up. And, thanks for understanding.

MH1006 · May 2014

OMG lol!! "Thanks for understanding" isn't overused at all!! Still so hi - larious!! Rofl! Lmao! Lololol! You are just great!

Two third shift parents?

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