What do you do with rotten people who disclose to you you are not invited to their event?

Re: What do you do with rotten people who disclose to you you are not invited to their event?

• WendyGR member

  

  May 2014

  what would I do? Try to figure out why I assumed I was friends with them and reassess the relationship. And find some better friends.

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• TarponMonoxide member

  

  May 2014 edited May 2014

  This wasn't a friend per se; this is a woman that's associated with my brother. It's the same one who is living with him -- and they live upstairs from me.
  
  I am guessing that the lawsuit precipitated not being invited. But the event had to do with a youngster; she was the guest of honor and wow, how do you explain to this youngster why I am not invited?
  
  This would be using the kiddo as a middleman and that just SUCKS.
  
  It was a major event for the youngster, who I see every day.
  
  What I take umbrage to is the fact you mentioned it at all. There was no need to even mention the event. Instead of saying what she said --- disclosing the event that was being held --- another comment would have sufficed.
  

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• GilliC member

  

  May 2014 edited May 2014

  If the girl knows that you weren't invited and demands an explanation, I guess I would just explain that some people can be very inconsiderate of others, and stress that it's no fault of hers.

  
  

  Then I'd let it go and limit my interaction with the asshat.

  

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• Leftie22 member

  

  May 2014

  Can you send a card and/or gift to the person and say you're sorry you weren't able to be there? But take the high road and don't tell them you weren't invited, that way you won't be putting him/her in middle. Family drama sucks.

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• EastCoastBride member

  

  May 2014

  TarponMonoxide said:

  how do you explain to this youngster why I am not invited?
  
  

  You don't.  This isn't your place.  If the youngster actually asks you "why weren't you invited?", you just say "I'm not sure.  You'll need to ask your mommy (I assume).  I'm sorry I missed it.".  Period.
  
  But if they actually ask "Why didn't you come?" (very different question), then I'd down play it with a "Oh, I wish I could have and I'm sad to have missed it, but I was unfortunately unable to be there." then deflect w/ questions about the event.
  

  "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
  ~Benjamin Franklin

  
  DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

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• TarponMonoxide member

  

  May 2014 edited May 2014

  EastCoastBride said:

  TarponMonoxide said:

  how do you explain to this youngster why I am not invited?
  
  

  You don't.  This isn't your place.  If the youngster actually asks you "why weren't you invited?", you just say "I'm not sure.  You'll need to ask your mommy (I assume).  I'm sorry I missed it.".  Period.
  
  But if they actually ask "Why didn't you come?" (very different question), then I'd down play it with a "Oh, I wish I could have and I'm sad to have missed it, but I was unfortunately unable to be there." then deflect w/ questions about the event.
  

  I was asking this question hypothetically --- and if the kiddo asked her mother, good luck to the kid with what she was told.
  
  (This is all fallout from the problems I am having with sibling. Another mess in itself and I am working valiantly to get him out of my home and yeah, my life)
  
  And yes, I think that is an excellent idea; I will send the kid a card.:)
  

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