Relationships
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Cheating boyfriend?
My boyfriend and I have been together about 8 month. I've been divorced about 7 year, this is the first man I care about since my ex-husband. Now I found out he had another woman on the side and got her pregnant when we first started dating. He says he ended it once we were together for real. I am so hurt. I am almost 55 and I had a husband that lied to me. Not sure I can or am willing to forgive this time around. Advice please!!!
Re: Cheating boyfriend?
This happened as you were casually dating him??
Then, sorry --- he had full right to do as he wished.
As did you, if you were still dating other men while you were in the early dating stages with Boyfriend.
Maybe Boyfriend isn't exactly the wisest man -- who with common sense has sex without protection? --- but he still had the right to dispose of his person, since he had no agreement with you that you and he were to see each other only.
If this happened after you and he agreed to date each other only, another story. Then dump his ass. Who needs him? He did not uphold hispromise to you that he would be your one and only guy.
You cannot trust him. That is clear. Based on that, get rid of him.
What I suggest:
Get yourself tested. Who knows where she has been?
Be more picky when it comes to dating.
Sounds like he isn't acting his age. If he is your age and is seeing women that much younger, who needs it? Not you.
Is he providing for this child (considering the fact that the child was carried to term vs an abortion)? Is he a good father? Does he provide for the kiddo?
The loser in this bigger picture is the child....if the OP's boyfriend is not actively participating in his child's life -- and if she chooses to keep seeing this guy and she finds out that he's not a good father at all, she definitely needs to say goodbye to him.
Then this is academic: do not get involved in this he said she said junior high school mess; don't waste your time on him any longer.
He claims she told him she was pregnant from a one night stand she had and that she later told him it was his. A friend of mine saw her and told me she wasn't pregnant ( at about 8 months). I surpect she lied to him all together. My issue is that he told me when we got together that he hadn't been with another woman in four months. Obviously a lie. In other words now I have no trust in the rest of what he has told me
Exactly what I said; and thanks to being a moron and not using a condom, he's left the door wide open to STDs and possible unwanted pregnancies:
I think at this point you need to figure out what is right for you. Assuming this girl is pregnent, do you want to be involved with someone that is just starting out with a baby and don't forget will have a forever attachment with the baby's mom? Before anyone bashes me, I'm not saying don't date him because he has a kid. But the fact of the matter is the OP isn't 24, she's 55 and most adults at that age aren't looking to start a family from newborn age. OP could be different. If the girl isn't pregnent, what does that mean for you & him. It's some soul searching you have to do and where you would like to see your life go from here.
That isn't your problem, anyway, that he lied about not having sex with anyone --- your problem is you cannot trust him.
Don't beat yourself up over this. Next time be more picky! It's as simple as that:
Apparently neither am I, I believed him. I was married 28 yrs then been divorced but hadn't dated for 7 yrs. Obviously I was played as a fool. And I allowed myself to be played! Not the sharpest tack either.