Relationships
TrishasMommy
newb
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Please help!
So my baby's father and I have been together, off and on, for almost 3 years. I have a hard time dealing with the lies and his behavior. He suffers from ADHD and a few other disorders that get in the way of our relationship. I want my baby girl to grow up with both her parents but I have a hard time being around him. When we break up, I can't help but check up on him. I go through his emails and watch his Facebook activity. I'm not sure if I actually want to be with him or if I don't. I know that this relationship isn't going anywhere, yet I can't seem to let him go. I think part of me is worried that I will not find anyone else and that's what makes me run back to him. I want what's best for my daughter but we fight all the time and I know that it's not helping her. Please, please, please help me figure out if this is worth putting myself through.
Re: Please help!
That he be the best father he can be for your little one.
I am guessing you and he are not legally wed. I don't know if common law marriage applies to you but if it does, you need to speak to an attorney about necessities. I don't know what he's been up to but if he is not trustworthy and not dependable for you, it is time to show this guy the door.
If common law does not apply, you are free to do as YOU wish.
See an attorney to establish child support and child visitation. Custody may or may not be an issue; I don't know what extent his ADHD is contributing to the problem.
You are with him out of emotional need; this is a codependency, not a healthy relationship --- get yourself therapy. There is probably a self esteem problem thrown into the mix here, too.
Call a moratorium on dating for a good 2 years.
Concentrate on raising your daughter; if you get into the dating scene too early, you are bound to make a mistake; you are too vulnerable.
I grew up watching a friend and his brother get tormented by their mother's on-again, off-again drunk loser of a boyfriend. He would hit her, scare both of them, say gross things to us girls who were friends with these poor kids, and all sorts of other awful and embarrassing behavior. Yet this woman stayed with him because, she explained, a bad father figure for her kids would be better for them than no father figure at all. She obviously could not have been more wrong.
Please don't put your daughter through the same ordeal that this woman put her sons through.
The best place for him is away from the home you share with the youngster.