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He Hasn't Met My Family... YET
So me and my boyfriend have been together for a little over a year, and he hasn't met the majority of my family yet. I'm from a different state and they only people that live in state is my mother and my sister, so of course he has met them. Also he has met my Grandmother, Great Grandmother && my Aunt. The family that has met him love him!! Which of course is a plus (I feel they are the most important and close to me). But I keep insisting he takes a trip with me to go meet the other family. I have pretty much met all of his family & have some sort of relationship with them. His family is important to him, same with me. But everytime I bring up going out of state to see my family, he comes up with some excuse as to why he can't/ won't go. It is really starting to get suspscious and annoying, and I'm at the point where I'm gonna give him an ultimatum. I mean why talk about marraige when you haven't even made the effort to get involved in where I cam from and the people that love me?!?
What should I do, continue to push and get shot down? Or is this a bad sign?
Re: He Hasn't Met My Family... YET
This! We've been married 2 and a half years now and I still haven't met all of them. If this is the only thing wrong in your relationship, you need to let it go.
Maybe you need to have a talk with him. I don't know what's up -- maybe it is a travel thing; only he can tell you for sure.
And if he can't tell you what it is.... wow, what can you discuss with your significant other? Not so good.
I've been with my husband for 5 1/2 years and theres still quite a few family members he hasn't met. I'm not gonna get upset with him for not wanting to travel halfway across the country to meet the rest of my family. He met a few people for the first time at our wedding last year. Infact for the first few years I tried bugging him to go out to Missouri to meet them and he just never wanted to. He just had no desire to go to Missouri. period. Thats it. We still haven't been out but he met one of my cousins that lives out there and now he wants to go out and see them but we can't afford it. Trust me, Its really not a big deal - give him a break. Its nothing personal. Its not like they live the next town over and he's refusing to go to their house with you. It sounds like it would mean a plane ticket and vacation time... its only been a year. Relax.
It's just 2 hours away, its not like it's a big trip. And I take it very often. Seeing It from you guys perspective has made me look at it in a different angle. I guess I just felt as if we are going to get married these are the things that need to get done. He hasn't met any of my dads people, so yes the people he met were important, but I guess it would just mean so much to meet the others. Show him the part of me that most of my friends have never seen. I just think since them and my hometown are so much of me, it would make us closer. Like I said I have met the endless amout of his family which gives me an insight to why he moves the way he does, who raised him and all that good stuff.
For the most part we don't have too many issues
And I would never want all of those people together in one room for an exteneded amout of time lol, the perks of being able to go house to house.
O.k. - so I have 2 trains of thought on this.
1- I better understand where you're coming from. Yes, it's only 2 hours. If it's important to you, yeah... he should want to make that effort at least once. If for no other reason than you said "this matters to me" to him.
And if he really digs his heels in the ground over this... then it does make me wonder "why" and in what other ways will he dismiss issues that are important to you?
2- on the flip side, though, be careful about the level of IMPORTANCE you place on this trip. You see it as making the two of you closer. You feel you've learned more about him by seeing his family, etc. HE may not put quite as much stock into it as you do. HE may not really walk away from meeting your family w/ any better sense of who you are.
If he does go and you're looking for this "thing" to come out of it - you may be setting yourself up for disappointment. If you ask "so, what did you think?" and are looking for some "a ha" moment from him, or for him to look more deeply into your eyes, you're going to be really upset when he says "It was fine. Your family seems nice. What's for dinner?".