October 2012 Weddings
chasemamabear
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Broken :( *long*
It's happening. Our relationship has come to the point where we need to take a break. We have been together now for nearly 10 years without any kind of break or split but now we've reached our breaking point.
As we have kids we've decided that we will start with a week of trial separation and go from there. If a week was OK then he will come home for a trial, if not then we will extend the break. We have set clear rules that there is absolutely no dating or intimacy of any sort with other people during this time.
I had so much hope for my highschool sweetheart relationship but now I'm not so sure. He has become a person I don't know, and that I'm not sure I want to know. He gets into horrible moods that last for hours or days in which he treats everyone like dirt and he doesnt even know hes doing it. When he comes out of it he realizes what he's done but by then it's too late. I've asked him to get help but he hasn't made any effort.
He lies endlessly, he steals money, he doesn't help at home and frankly, he is a lazy father. All we do now is argue and it's not a healthy environment for our kids. I need to do what is best for them.
Right now I feel surprisingly good about it. Not a tear or the urge to cry. I feel what is almost a scence of relief. I really do want things to work out but at the moment I can't do it anymore. I can't take the emotional abuse and his ungrateful behaviour.
Who knows, maybe tomorrow I'll hate myself for this decision. It will be particularly hard explaining to my son why daddy isn't coming home at night but this could be what my husband and I need to start mending our relationship and to appreciate one another.
I don't think he was ready for a family when I got pregnant the first time, let alone the second. So maybe this break will help him to make the decision as to whether family is more important to him or if he does indeed feel like freedom to be on his own and do what he wants is the right thing for him.
I'll keep you ladies updated and I hope none of you have to experience any of this and that you all live your happily ever after!
As we have kids we've decided that we will start with a week of trial separation and go from there. If a week was OK then he will come home for a trial, if not then we will extend the break. We have set clear rules that there is absolutely no dating or intimacy of any sort with other people during this time.
I had so much hope for my highschool sweetheart relationship but now I'm not so sure. He has become a person I don't know, and that I'm not sure I want to know. He gets into horrible moods that last for hours or days in which he treats everyone like dirt and he doesnt even know hes doing it. When he comes out of it he realizes what he's done but by then it's too late. I've asked him to get help but he hasn't made any effort.
He lies endlessly, he steals money, he doesn't help at home and frankly, he is a lazy father. All we do now is argue and it's not a healthy environment for our kids. I need to do what is best for them.
Right now I feel surprisingly good about it. Not a tear or the urge to cry. I feel what is almost a scence of relief. I really do want things to work out but at the moment I can't do it anymore. I can't take the emotional abuse and his ungrateful behaviour.
Who knows, maybe tomorrow I'll hate myself for this decision. It will be particularly hard explaining to my son why daddy isn't coming home at night but this could be what my husband and I need to start mending our relationship and to appreciate one another.
I don't think he was ready for a family when I got pregnant the first time, let alone the second. So maybe this break will help him to make the decision as to whether family is more important to him or if he does indeed feel like freedom to be on his own and do what he wants is the right thing for him.
I'll keep you ladies updated and I hope none of you have to experience any of this and that you all live your happily ever after!
Re: Broken :( *long*
T&Ps with you in this difficult time. We are all here for you. Stay strong and enjoy those adorable LOs you have!
I still haven't cried or felt the need to but I'm not sure if that's bcs it hasn't really hit me yet or bcs I'm just that confident in my decision. I think that if I believed that we will not reconcile I would be a mess right now but I truly do feel like, as long as he is willing to work on himself, we will get back together.
I've already had to explain to my son that daddy won't be home for a little while and that he is staying at Nana and Papa's. So far that seems to be enough for him but we always put the kids together at night so I think that will be a struggle.
I will let my husband come see the kids when he asks as I would never want to hurt my kids that way but it won't be a daily thing.
I will admit that I've thought about texting him and asking him how he is doing but I think that's more out of habit than anything. I feel like we need at least a few days of no contact to sort ourselves out.
I'll continue to update if and when anything happens.
Thanks again ladies!!