Family Matters
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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I want to cancel my dream wedding due to my rude family and friends.
WHAT a girl to do? Why are people so mean and nasty. I know when people are un-happy with themselves they want to bring everyone else down with them. But I just don't understand !@%&?. When everything is going so great for me and my fiance and as we plan our dream wedding... the creeps come out. Im so happy and excited to share all my special moments with my loved ones. However some seem like they really don't care and love to trash talk. But I have no choice but to invite these people to our wedding. Im sorry but after that stupid hurtful comment i don't want to pay $150.00 for your dinner plate jerk!. Why would i want people who are truly not happy for us, join us on our special day?
After an hour of sobbing to my fiance and expressing my deep feelings to him he said "ok! babe lets take them off the list then". WHAT!!! ITS NOT THAT SIMPLE! i wish i was a dude. Wedding date: March 2015 lol! and Im already feeling like i want to cancel my dream Wedding
Is this just the beginning?
After an hour of sobbing to my fiance and expressing my deep feelings to him he said "ok! babe lets take them off the list then". WHAT!!! ITS NOT THAT SIMPLE! i wish i was a dude. Wedding date: March 2015 lol! and Im already feeling like i want to cancel my dream Wedding
Is this just the beginning?
Re: I want to cancel my dream wedding due to my rude family and friends.
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk
Are they usually this way or did they just start being this way once you started wedding planning?
I feel that this is an important distinction for you to make.
If it's the first option, then it's THEIR fault and you should do what you want - invite or don't invite them.
If it's the second option, then it's YOUR fault because you have probably unknowingly (or knowingly) morphed into what's called Bridezilla. And, you are probably being a dork and people are responding to this by being "nasty." If this is the case, then you need to cut it out, make your apologies and move ahead without all the drama.
Exclude these dreadful people; cross them off your list; it IS as simple as that.:)
If that does not float your boat, do THIS:
Sll the date to some other couple, Sweet Sixteener or somebody who wants to have an affair at your reception hall on that day.... and you and your FI and ONLY a very few loved ones take off and go elsewhere for your wedding.
It is not quantity of the guests it is quality.:)
Go to the nearest big city and have a shindig for perhaps 10 people, perhaps --- somebody I know did exactly that: decided no on a big typical wedding (they didn't want a typical wedding) and took a handful of people to New York City; they had a fancy dinner at a good hotel after the Central Park ceremony --- it was a wonderful day outdoors for a wedding!
Have a small wedding and take only your nearest and dearest with you.:) I'd opt out for a fabulous honeymoon instead of the big reception.:)
I vote you break a rule at this point, if a rule it even is: don't invite the nasty people.
Everyone loves my Fiance and seems to be happy for us and our plans.
I decided to have our engagement/house warming party last month. We remodeled our home and did not choose to use our family to work on it from experience business and fam. does not mix well together. So the one person that got really offended was my brother (was always too busy to give us an estimate) so he has been talking bad about us behind our backs. The other is some of my cousins got really offended because i didn't invite them to the engagement party. So they convinced other family members not to come to our party. So before and during my party i got nasty emails and text, it made me feel very bad. But they are really mean to me like those kind of people that put you down in front of groups and always have negative comments, this is why i didn't invite. I just stay quite i rather not argue with people but it really gets to me.
Then 3 of my very good friends are doing a lot of outings (concerts, traveling, hiking, bars) together and are not inviting me at all.
We use to be very close did everything together and they seem to be happy for me and love my Fiance. And now i feel like they are so distant and to think that im not going to have them around for our wedding planning really breaks my heart. They showed up to our engagement party and seemed very happy for me. I just cant confront them about how i feel. If someone does not enjoy my company anymore i cant force them too.
Be honest:
If they do not approve of your FI and/or your marriage to him...is there a rational reason why?
Does he drink too much? Is he neglectful of you? Does he spend too much time with friends? Does he make an adequate amount of money to support you and him and a kiddo, should one enter the picture right now(and you can no longer work and you need his salary to get by on)?
Just to name a few.
As I said, be honest.
Maybe I'm veering a bit off topic in this thread but if there is a rational reason why these people do not like him, stop look and listen and think hard about what's really the issue. Not them, but your FI.
Be honest: we all know love is blind and it is not possile that the "little" problem will vanish once the I Dos are said. They will still be there and there permanently.
She had no hand in being a mother figure, nor any hand in bringing you up:
My husband's step mother is only 7 years older than us. We have had on and off times with her. She is fake. She causes issues with his father and his children. I have kept my mouth shut for many years because my husband never felt it was worth confronting (this was hard for me-although I don't run my mouth just for any reason I do not believe in being fake, esp with family).
This is a Dad problem and a You problem --- he needs to tell her to stand down and you need to stand up for your rights. Tell her to buzz off and make it stick.
To the OP: Do not invite the nasties that are causing all the sturm und drang. That's one solution --- other than taking a handful of your nearest and dearest and having a very small and very cool wedding at some place you and your FI know and love.:)
Like Mary, the former BM who quit my BP, claiming she had no money due to a doctor suing her. And she was short on cash so she couldn't do it.
We all know doctors can't "sue" you ---- this was a lie as fishy as aqll hell.
Meanwhile, she was going to hockey games, singles dances and spending money having a good time every weekend.
You're so short on cash, where did you get the money for these endeavors???
Bully for her.
I still vote that the OP and her FI cancel the entire event and host something smaller and more intimate with their nearest and dearest.
Where do you live? Try the nearest big city for the weddding and have a cool little reception at a very good restaruant afterwards.
Have the mayor or a friend of yours officiate (he can be "ordained" so he can have authority to legally officiate at your wedding or perhaps he can become a notary public, if notaries can officate at weddings in your state, town and county --- your town clerk would be able to tell you if notaries can officiate in your area ).
Much cheaper to send 150 postcards with recall notices on them than spending the money, sanity , blood , sweat and tears on an event you really no longer want to partake in, for very good reasons.
We would NEVER EVER do it again.
Hold onto your sanity - it'll all be over soon and you and your DH can look back and laugh lol
(My mom and I actually don't have much of a relationship anymore because of how she acted. I went to visit them one day by myself in the middle of planning and I can't even remember what it was about, but she started arguing with me about some detail of the wedding and I ended up crying and walking out...then she sent and e-mail to my DH that, I kid you not, started with the line "This is how it's going to be" and proceeded to tell him who would be invited and who wouldn't and on and on...We were paying for it ourselves so it wasn't any of their business at all.)