How can I teach my kids to sit still?

amyjoy18 · June 2014

Any advice on how to teach my kids to sit still? I feel like they are ALWAYS in motion. I know that to some degree this is normal as they're kids, and I expect less still time from Nolan (2.5) than Brinley (5) but I feel like they are never still. It doesn't matter if they're at home or we're out they're moving. Nolan we have to especially keep contained if we don't want to lose him. He'll take off the first opportunity he sees. Last night before Brinley's dance recital he was playing with the seat. The second he thought I wasn't watching he made a break for it and was at the back of the theater before I even got out of my seat and reached the aisle.

I see other kids sitting quietly with their parents, but even if mine are in their seats they're bouncing, squirming, shaking, kicking or dancing. Going anywhere with them seems like an Olympic event for us and we're exhausted afterwards.

Any advice on teaching them to sit still? What is a reasonable expectation?

MrsAmers · June 2014

I wouldn't compare your kids to others. Sometimes mine sit still and sometimes they have the wiggles. It is not something I've taught them, it is just how they have developed.

It certainly doesn't hurt to remind them (especially

of the behavior you expect, but if their movements aren't bothering anyone, I wouldn't correct them. For example, if they are swinging their legs and kicking someone's seat, then you definitely want to say something. But if their squirms are distracting anyone, them just let it go. They do have to get the wiggles out sometimes...

lala5507 · June 2014

Give them lots of opportunities to practice. When we read books at home I don't read unless everyone is seating. Meals are only served if kids are seated. We have been going to Church and out to eat regularly since the girls were babies. So they have had lots of opportunities to practice. That's not to say it's always gone well. I've given more than one time out in the back of the church.
I also make sure to always have crayons/paper at restaurants and they have a bag of religious books they bring to church.

If all else fails pack a snack or use bribery.

LittleD8081 · June 2014

What lala said! We often practice… The same result happens with us…sometimes it goes well, other times not so much, but it certainly cuts down on the amount of crazy that can ensue at any given moment and it gives me a much needed break at times when things go swimmingly. We, too, always have snacks and something to keep them busy just in case. P certainly needs less reminders than B…but sometimes all it takes is for B to do something awful and P then joins right in. Fun times. I used a kid leash in Disney with the boys, and I have seriously thought about putting one on B since we’ve gotten back…though I haven’t. We often go over things in the car before we get somewhere…”Now, what do we do when we get to the restaurant…” etc. It helps a little. I think we’ve all been there…though I, too, see other moms with silently still children and I secretly wonder if they are drugged because I can’t believe that it’s only my children who act like this. LOL

amyjoy18 · June 2014

LittleD8081 said:

What lala said! We often practice… The same result happens with us…sometimes it goes well, other times not so much, but it certainly cuts down on the amount of crazy that can ensue at any given moment and it gives me a much needed break at times when things go swimmingly. We, too, always have snacks and something to keep them busy just in case. P certainly needs less reminders than B…but sometimes all it takes is for B to do something awful and P then joins right in. Fun times. I used a kid leash in Disney with the boys, and I have seriously thought about putting one on B since we’ve gotten back…though I haven’t. We often go over things in the car before we get somewhere…”Now, what do we do when we get to the restaurant…” etc. It helps a little. I think we’ve all been there…though I, too, see other moms with silently still children and I secretly wonder if they are drugged because I can’t believe that it’s only my children who act like this. LOL

I have very seriously been considering a kid leash for Nolan. I feel his propensity to want to run and his speed is becoming a safety concern. He get's plenty of opportunity to run at home. We have tons of space and are outside all the time, but I feel all that running just builds up his stamina as opposed to wearing him out.

LOL at wondering if the other kids are drugged. I've told myself that a few times when the kids were being particularly, um, spirited.

amyjoy18 · June 2014

lala5507 said:

Give them lots of opportunities to practice. When we read books at home I don't read unless everyone is seating. Meals are only served if kids are seated. We have been going to Church and out to eat regularly since the girls were babies. So they have had lots of opportunities to practice. That's not to say it's always gone well. I've given more than one time out in the back of the church.
I also make sure to always have crayons/paper at restaurants and they have a bag of religious books they bring to church.

If all else fails pack a snack or use bribery.

Great point. This is part of our problem. Mostly at this point we've given up on most things where Nolan will have to sit and be still. We don't go out to eat. He doesn't go to church with DD and I because of his behavior.

I've tried the reading thing and the meal thing, but honestly in those cases he just doesn't care. He'd rather run than read. And eating may never happen.

amyjoy18 · June 2014

MrsAmers said:

I wouldn't compare your kids to others. Sometimes mine sit still and sometimes they have the wiggles. It is not something I've taught them, it is just how they have developed. It certainly doesn't hurt to remind them (especially of the behavior you expect, but if their movements aren't bothering anyone, I wouldn't correct them. For example, if they are swinging their legs and kicking someone's seat, then you definitely want to say something. But if their squirms are distracting anyone, them just let it go. They do have to get the wiggles out sometimes...

I shouldn't complain about Brinley, because for the most part she does really well (unless she's super excited or tired, which is understandable) With Nolan I'd settle love for sometimes sitting still :-P

And we were definitely getting some stink-eyes last night--we struggled through so that we could both see DD dance, then DH took Nolan to the car after Brinley's number and had to miss her in the finale.

Meghan&Rich · June 2014

Garrett is the same way...I am just finally getting to the point where I no longer have anxiety about going in public with him! We've tried a lot of different things mentioned, sometimes they helped, most of the time they didn't. He's just an on the move kind of kid, who has no interest in listening. (Total opposite of my rule follower, Mason.) This year has been a big improvement, not sure if it's his age or what, but he is definitely much easier to manage now. Good luck!

amyjoy18 · June 2014

Meghan&Rich said:

Garrett is the same way...I am just finally getting to the point where I no longer have anxiety about going in public with him! We've tried a lot of different things mentioned, sometimes they helped, most of the time they didn't. He's just an on the move kind of kid, who has no interest in listening. (Total opposite of my rule follower, Mason.) This year has been a big improvement, not sure if it's his age or what, but he is definitely much easier to manage now. Good luck!

Yes--that sounds just like Nolan. Glad to hear there is light at the end of the tunnel and that it gets slightly better with age. He starts preschool 1 day/week in the fall. I'm hoping that will help some.

lala5507 · June 2014

amyjoy18 said:

Meghan&Rich said:

Garrett is the same way...I am just finally getting to the point where I no longer have anxiety about going in public with him! We've tried a lot of different things mentioned, sometimes they helped, most of the time they didn't. He's just an on the move kind of kid, who has no interest in listening. (Total opposite of my rule follower, Mason.) This year has been a big improvement, not sure if it's his age or what, but he is definitely much easier to manage now. Good luck!

Yes--that sounds just like Nolan. Glad to hear there is light at the end of the tunnel and that it gets slightly better with age. He starts preschool 1 day/week in the fall. I'm hoping that will help some.

I think preschool will help! The teachers won't put up with it and there will be the peer pressure if he sees all the other kids sitting still.

And just remember it won't last forever. I've never seen a 20 year old being pulled out of church for being to rowdy.

denalea · June 2014

And just remember it won't last forever. I've never seen a 20 year old being pulled out of church for being to rowdy.

TeeHee! I have given some teens the stink eye from the pulpit though....;-)

(But, at least in my church, we'd rather have kids HERE and rowdy, than not here at all. I know it is SO SO hard though.)

How can I teach my kids to sit still?

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