Relationships
cutesmile86
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
If he's perfect why don't I feel the spark/butterflies.
I've been casually dating this amazing guy for a couple of months who treats me like a queen. He's classy, thoughtful, kind, good listener, attentive, sweet, ambitious, optimistic, loves to cook, super patient and very generous. He would make the perfect husband and father! He seems to really like me A LOT. I don't think I've ever been treated this well. He has everything I ever wanted in a guy except that he's not very assertive. He texts everyday almost all day but won't call me because he thinks I'm probably busy. This is just an example. But I mean compared to all his good qualities this should be no big deal!
I would be stupid to let such a great guy go! But I just don't feel the spark or any butterflies 
I cant figure out why. Should I just be honest and let him find someone who will really appreciate him? Should I give it more time?
I cant figure out why. Should I just be honest and let him find someone who will really appreciate him? Should I give it more time?
Re: If he's perfect why don't I feel the spark/butterflies.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
If you don't feel it, you can't force it. If he's so great, he deserves better than a girlfirend who doesn't have the hots for him! You both should find happiness elsewhere. Don't waste your time, and his, if you don't have the right feelings, regardless of how great he may be otherwise.
DMoney will be a kickass big sister
I dumped this guy in college and a few months later I met my H. Who is NOT all the things listed but has other qualities that it turns out, mesh better with me.
Some love grows. Looking at some recent survey type of studies relationships that started out at a medium level tend to last longer and be more rewarding than relationships that begin at a high point. They speculate this is because it is much worse for the level of love to decline than it is for it to steadily increase.
My current BF and I seem perfect for each other on paper. We have the same values, want to go the same direction in life, and we work together really really well. Neither of us felt that super high that usually clouds your judgement when with a new partner but we realized that we are just a great match and decided to stay together. Everyday and every new year we grow to love each other more and more. Now I think we both agree that our love for each other is stronger than our previous relationships where that madly in love feeling was present. This kind of love feels deeper, more like family. Family not in a platonic kind of way but more of a we are a unit, you'll always be here, kind of way. It is a very different love.
Just something to think about I guess.
Doing something new and exciting together can help you two get closer if you do decide to stay. Like taking a trip to another country, or just going to regular dance lessons.
Also, no one is absolutely perfect so if he seems super perfect I would be worried he might be hiding somthing. Just saying, Idon't know if this actually applies to you or not.
And I agree with another girl on here, see what you guys have in common, if you two have similar values ect. This might help you figure things out. I don't know how long you guys have been together and what-not but if you have the "future children" talk and you want ten kids and he wants one, it might not work.
Best wishes