Yes, I'm sexist....kind of

csuave · July 2014

DH and I bought our new house a year ago and got married shortly after that. The other day the furnace filter came to mind. We have never changed it. I asked DH to buy a new one when he went to the store and I kind of indicated to him that I think he should be in charge of it in the future--because that is kind of a man's job.

Don't get me wrong, I would have no problem being in charge of the filter, it is not a big deal. And we both pitch in on chores and act as a team so if something needs done it will get done by one of us. But truth be told I kind of like resorting to "traditional gender roles" for chores. I don't want to take out the garbage but I am happy to make the grocery lists, make the beds, etc. Using "tradition" as a starting point made dividing jobs easier for us and I don't think either of us feels like we do too much compared to the other.

How have you divided chores? Do you think "traditon" has played any role in what was assigned to husband vs wife?

AmandaJLewis · July 2014

I hate taking out the trash, so that has been something K always does. But he also does laundry, and dishes.

I do food planning and prep, but take care of furnace filters, painting, changing electrical outlets and light fixtures. I tend to take charge of child care and pup stuff too.

We play to our strengths and things that bother us more. SO some of our chores are divided in a more traditional way. And others are totally opposite. We just go with what works.

amyjoy18 · July 2014

I'd say we used to be pretty traditional. DH did the trash, mowed the lawn, took care of cars, etc. However, since becoming a SAHD, he's taken on a lot more in addition to those traditional chores. During the week he does the cooking and cleaning. On the weekends, I usually take the cooking back, clean the way I prefer things to be cleaned and do the laundry--as he's mastered washing and drying, but folding is a foreign term to him.

denalea · July 2014

I would say we're on the more traditional side, but DH does the dishes as much or more often than me. (especially if we're having a party.) I think this is because he eats faster than me.

When I do premarital counseling, I always tell couples do do what works for them, whatever that looks like. And, that just because something looks a certain way for a while, doesn't mean it can't change. New jobs, new kids, new schedules, or just really busy times call for flexibility.

Here is a funny story, though. One day shortly after we were married I was allowed to come home from work early because it was snowing. I thought, "I'll be a nice wife and snow-blow the driveway so my hubby doesn't have to do it." It was usually his task. Instead of being overjoyed when he came home he said, "Oh, you used the snow-blower. Now I don't get to do it." I said, "Don't worry. I'll never do it again. ;-)" and I haven't, until this year when he was out of town. I've also never mowed the lawn. He has a love affair with his tractor.

waltsgirl102503 · July 2014

Ours are definitely split in a traditional way. He does all outside/yardwork stuff. And he does maintenance on the inside (like painting and basically anything that needs a hammer/screwdriver is his duty). I clean and cook and do laundry and kind of keep things organized.

Meghan&Rich · July 2014

I think the bulk of what we do are the traditional roles, but we also do a lot of the non-traditional roles.

DH does the cooking and grocery shopping, I'll meal plan and clean up. I plant, weed, etc., but he cuts the grass. We each do our own laundry. He handles most of the home maintenance, I handle most of the kid maintenance (Dr. appts, clothes shopping, etc.). I guess we are pretty 50/50, with him doing more non-traditional stuff, and me trying to do as little stuff as possible. LOL!

mcmfan · July 2014

We divide along what we like/hate to do. For instance, DH loves the Dyson, he thinks its the greatest thing ever so he vacuums, but I don't think he has ever mopped, I mop. I hate putting dishes away so he usually does this, he hates loading the dishwasher so I load, etc--everything just worked out.

EXCEPT, folding laundry, which we both HATE. So it either goes unfolded or we do it together. Sometimes if one of us has had a hard week we will do it as a suprise for the other.

egpitt22 · July 2014

Traditional here as well, except for dishes and lunch prep, we both pitch in with that after the kids go to bed. but everything else is a traditional split by choice, I would want nothing to do with tending to the lawn or shoveling snow.

kris356 · July 2014

Ours are mostly traditional. I despise working in the yard, it usually ends in an accident or some kind of allergic reaction that sends me to the doctor so DH does all of it which kinda sucks for him since we moved to a house on 6.5 acres but it has been this way for 15 years. I do all the shopping (including for his clothes), meal planning and cooking. Although he will cook but he makes a mess and it drives me insane.I do laundry because when he helps, my clothes end up small. Cars are evenly split because he is a mechanic and if I wait for him, it never gets done so I have a service contract.

Dogs are mostly me, he took over the vet and meds but I took them back when the dogs ran out of their arthritis meds.

lishie · July 2014

We're very traditional with chores. I hate yard work, and as a result I've never touched the lawn mower or shoveled the snow. DH does all the painting/rehab/remodeling and takes out the trash. I do laundry and cooking. Our cleaning person handles most of the heavy cleaning, but I do whatever needs to be desperately cleaned between those visits.

lala5507 · July 2014

We are pretty traditional as well. Dh does grocery shop, do dishes and makes dinner once a week though. He is very particular about his grass and how the car is washed. So even if I wanted to take on one of those things, I don't think he would want me to.

northhillsbride · July 2014

I leave house fixes to him (mostly bc he'll criticize how I do something) and the fact that there are a lot of things I don't know about. (Case in point - we moved into our house 2 weeks ago, were away for a weekend, and then DH had to leave the country, so we went around the house with a notepad showing me where the water shut-off is, how to use the push mower, etc.)
Maybe that's sad, but I have too much on my plate between being the grocery shopper, meal planner, childcare provider, financial advisor (aka: pays all bills), laundromat, homework helper, family holiday ambassador (ie. I do the gift and card buying), travel agent, paper pusher, and most of the cleaning.
DH does help with toilets and some cooking (mainly grilling).
I can also do minor fixes (lightbulb changes and the such) and I handle most maintenance on my car. I'm happy to leave the mowing, and now pool maintenance, to him.
It's been kind of nice having the last 9 days to myself to buy the flowers I want, put things away where I think they should go, etc.!

Yes, I'm sexist....kind of

Re: Yes, I'm sexist....kind of

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