how to dump a friend

EricaOO · June 2014

I have been "friends" with this person since high school but over the last couple years, I have questioned our friendship. Many things just bug me about this person. She drinks excessively (I used to party a lot in our younger years so I don't typically judge), has bad manners, and to me, has a bad energy. I don't believe she has bad intentions but I just have no desire to be around her anymore. Also now that I am a wife and a mother, sadly, I don't have much in common with her.

I have distanced myself by not reaching out. She has texted me a few times and I simply respond cordially but do not make plans to get together. We do have mutual friends so i will see her at some social outings and I plan to be nice of course. My question is: will I ever really be able to "dump" her? Or is it more than likely we will remain acquaintaces?

Disneygeek77 · June 2014

You will probably be acquaintances , and that is ok.

Be polite and cordial when you see her, but don't reach out and if she asks to do something say you have plans. If things ever do come to a head, and she asks what is going on, you can tell her the truth.

nyc artist · June 2014

I agree with what Disneygeek says. But I would add that if things DO come to a head, and she asks you why you don't hang out anymore, I would avoid saying some of the things you mentioned in your post (i.e. that she has negative energy, parties too much, has bad manners, etc).

Instead, make it about you. How your life has changed so much since high school, and you really don't have as much time as you used to. Try not to criticize, just blame different priorities and schedules.

cutesmile86 · June 2014

Basically, what has been said. Just slowly distance yourself from her. You don't need to create drama.

VOR · June 2014

Yea, as you have mutual friends, you ocan't dump her. Unless you want to cause DRAMA among the friends.

catsareniice1 · June 2014

How about maybe just meeting her for something low key once in a while like a coffee? Sounds like you don't dislike her but are not into the party scene anymore. I have friends who have children and we are still friends.

watermelons · July 2014

Yes, it's normal for friendships to change. Often two friends just drift apart. If she asks you go out, you can refuse her and tell her you have to do other things. Time everyone was stranger.

ClaryPax · July 2014

I have a friend with a lot of mutual friends. I guess you could say she dumped me, but denied it. Then I dumped her or something because she is so mean or expects me to jump through hoops while she treats me like crap. I really don't know what happened or why she is so mean, but it doesn't really matter right? I tried really hard to put a lot of distance, like not even on FB. But because she requested it I added her back to FB, but don't interact there- really not with anyone. So I guess you would say we are acquaintances. In some ways I would love not to be that, but it is not possible. So anyway, you have to be really careful in how you treat them- no big blow up fights etc because of the acquaintance thing.

how to dump a friend

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