My husband and I have been together since 2000, married since '09. I think we were together 24/7 before we were married. After we were married everything seemed to change. I suppose this is normal to some people, but it breaks my heart that we are always arguing and disrespecting each other! I know fairy tale marriages don't exist but I wish we were more like before. We rarely have sex anymore! And it's usually me having to initiate it, while he's like a bump on a log. Then it only lasts about 5 minutes!! I am sooo not happy!! I find myself wondering why, and do I get out?! I find myself thinking maybe I'd be better off single. As well as we should've never gotten married in the first place! He almost never says anything that isn't a critizism and I hate trying to fish for a compliment that isn't genuine! Yet if anyone else should "notice" me he gets insanely jealous! Doesn't realize if he doesn't appreciate me there's always someone who will. Not that I want that, but attention and affection (something I don't get from him!) is what I direly need!! Well hope someone can say a lil something that helps, don't know how long I can do this.
Re: IF IT AIN'T BROKE...
It's a must he attend counseling with you. If he will not go, it is not a good sign.
Ways you can spice things up: go pick out a sex manual togehter -- try a mainstream bookstore and get a sex manual written especially for committed couples --- start there.
You might also jump into the shower with him and then let nature take its course. That's probably something you can do tonight and/or tomorow.:)
Let us know what happens. Life isn't meant to be lived like this.
He needs the counseling for the jealousy issue alone: that needs to end and end now. It's childish and it's inappropriate and it is also something that can get out of hand.
Would it hurt him to tell you you look nice today?
Or that the dinner you cooked was fabulous?
It would not hurt him at all: he needs to get with the program.
Counseling stat -- and you tell him what you told us. Get results WITH him; you and he are a team and he owes it to you to derive at a solution that is acceptable to you.