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Only Children: thoughts on "loner" behavior? I may DD this later.
Full disclosure, I'm an only child.
G is an an in home daycare with 7 other kids, 3 of which are the caregiver's children. She's been giving me a lot of updates about him being a "loner" when I pick him up. She's not necessarily saying it's anything to be worried about but I think she's unsure of the behavior b/c she has 5 children and she feels like she needs to encourage G to participate. It's not that he is completely in his own world all day, it seems that he chooses to exclude himself sometimes.
Here are some examples:
- He's started having meltdowns at lunch time and does not want to eat with the other kids. He prefers to wait until they've finished their lunch, then climbs up to the table to eat on his own. Or he seems to enjoy it if the caregiver(s) eat with him.
- A lot of times he would rather sit and watch the other kids play than actually join them.
- Oftentimes when I drop him off, he's content to climb up on her couch with a book or a toy, regardless of the chaos that's surrounding him.
- Over the last few weekends we've gotten together with friends who have children close in age and after a little while G inevitably says, " I no play with NAME." And then sort of sulks away.
None of the behaviors concern or bother me, other than the lunch time meltdown, I don't want to have a special snowflake who throws a monkey wrench into the lunch routine everyday, lol. I actually really like that he's able to decide if he wants to take part in things or if he'd prefer to observer. I'm a loner/observer. I like my own company best. I have no idea if this is my personality or if it's b/c I am an only child or a mixture of the two.
Anyway, I guess what I'm looking for is if any of you with singletons have experienced this and if you feel/felt it's any cause for concern and/or if you encouraged your child to participate/engage more.
Given that I've had a few m/cs before and after G was born, it's pretty likely that he's going to be a singleton.
Ryan & Casey Married July 17, 2004
Gabriel John Born February 23, 2012
Re: Only Children: thoughts on "loner" behavior? I may DD this later.
Except for the lunch thing, Todd has been known to do the same things as G. He and I have similar personalities in that way. I'm an only child and he is not.
Dd is an only child and I would never classify her as a loner. We call her a social butterfly and she has been since she was very little. That is just her personality. She is the most social/outgoing kid. She loves playing with friends and is Pretty quick/easy to make new friends wherever she goes. Lately it's more and more of a problem at home because she longs for company and always wants friends around. So there's problems on the other end too. That's my main concern with dd being an only child because she is pretty lonely at home at times. She is not good at playing on her own despite being an only!
I would probably encourage play dates and playing with friends but I wouldn't be too concerned or push it right now. Honestly this may be his (and your) personality.
I would just like to ditto the other ladies! Garrett is like this at school. I was surprised to hear that, because he is our wild and crazy man at home, and plays so well with Mason and our few neighborhood kids. At school, he keeps to himself and prefers to do his own thing. I think this is a personality thing, and I also think that playing indepenendtly of others isn't uncommon for that age either. Garrett has only recently started playing more with others at school, and for the first time has been talking about specific kids in his class. For him I would say it was both his age & personality, as I think he tends to be like me, where in some situations I'm introverted and keep to myself, but in other situations extremely outgoing.
I am sorry about your losses, hugs to you.