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Boyfriend Advice
So, I want your opinion on my relationship with my boyfriend. I will start by saying I've been divorced for over a year due to my ex having an affair. Well, about 7 months ago, I met this young man (he's about 7 years younger than me, but very mature). We have had several issues with him being irritated with me being involved in activities that don't involve him; such as, exercising, church activities, line dancing, and one other community activity that I'm only involved with 3 months out of the year. He has told me that i'm too busy for a relationship, which is not true. These activities do not take up all of my time. I think he feels that I shouldn't be involved in things because it takes time away from him. I told him that these are things that I enjoy, and as a boyfriend (and possibly a future husband?) he needs to support me in these things. Just like I support him in his activities (although, he's not as involved in as many activities as I am). This really bothers me because it makes me feel like I have to give up the things i'm involved in, but I won't because that's who I am. I would never ask him to give up the activities he's involved in; I've told him that I fully support him. I don't know what to do. I've tried talking to him, and I feel like all of my stuff is getting behind because of ALWAYS being with him and not doing the things I need to do (mostly because I know he will get irritated).
Something else is I volunteered for a week long trip with my work that will take me to the other side of the states. Well, he didn't like that I volunteered for it and that I didn't talk to him about it first. First, this is for work and it's a good opportunity for me. He said that he would miss me and I shouldn't go. That's sweet, and i'll miss him, but that's not a good enough reason to not go on the trip to support my work. And yes, he was irritated/mad because I didn't talk to him about it first. He said he gives up opportunities all the time.
Last thing...when we first started dating, I told him I have guy friends. Well, that really bothers him as well. I don't talk to them on a regular basis, but when I do, he hates it and he gets mad. I do not have a problem with him having female friends and him talking to them. I told him I trust him and obviously he doesn't trust me. He said "no, it's the other guy that I don't trust". Which, still means he doesn't trust me enough.
I don't think this is good for me. I really like him and I think he's a great guy, but this really bothers me. Maybe some of it is his age (23); i'm not sure. I don't know what to do. 
Re: Boyfriend Advice
You say he's very mature, but he throws little fits if he can't dictate who your friends are or when you travel for work? That doesn't sound right.
As for him wanting more of your time, have you sat down and worked it out as a couple, or have you two only had arguments about it? Everyone is different as far as how "attached" they like to be to their SO. If this is going to work for you (which it sounds like it might not anyway), you need to sit down and calmly discuss what each of your expectations are as far as time spent together, and see if you can agree on something that works for you as a couple. If you can't, the relationship will always be strained... until it ends.
"You know you're in love when you don't want to fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." - Dr. SeussC'mon, you know what to do..........you just don't want to do it.
If you truly think that he's "very mature", you must not understand what the term "mature" means. He is immature, extremely immature. I'm guessing that he hasn't had very many serious relationships before. He's very possessive and controlling, which might be due to his immaturity and might be due to him just being an a-hole..........but he's showing you quite clearly who he is and what he's about. Do you really want to stay in a relationship with him for 4 or 5 years to see if he grows out of it or if it's a character flaw? To argue with him over what you do and who you talk to? Don't you have better things to do?
You were single for a whopping 5 months before you jumped into this relationship. It sounds like you have so many other things going on in your life right now - cut this little boy loose and focus on those other things, and I bet you meet a man who is mature, secure and confident enough in himself to not need to be glued to your hip 24/7. Seriously, there are worse things in life than being single........being with a boy who can't handle you having a life outside of him being one of those things.
He doesn't sound very mature. I think you're fooling yourself if you really believe that. Regardless of age, he's insecure, jealous, and doesn't trust you. That doesn't sound like great husband material. Sorry, but it might be time to cut your losses and move on.
Baby Boy loved for 15 weeks, 5/31/11
Baby Girl loved for 16.5 weeks. 3/1/12
This isn't quite a control issue.
This is an insecurity issue, a he-is-much-too-needy issue and an immaturity issue.
Say goodbye to him; find another guy....in about a year. Take your TIME!!!! You are still newly divorced and you need time to yourrself; you are too vulnerable and you are doing just fine indulging in activities you like to do.
This guy is no great shakes. Say goodbye to him.
You are a VERY busy mature woman. He is an insecure young man. I've had relationships with younger men as much as 7 years, and older men, a long time love years ago who was 13 years older. It's not the age difference, it's a maturity and interest difference. His interest is you, your interests are diverse.
You can't let him go, because let's face it, it's cool that a guy 7 years younger is interested in us. I remember those feelings well. In the end, after years of dating, having my kids, and rearing them alone, I found a great guy I married in August 2011 who is only 7 months older than I am. We have the same memories of history, events, etc. Common ground. And as mature individuals we spend a lot of time apart, even in the evenings when we can't agree on what to watch, etc. We watch in separate rooms. Neither of us thinks the other is ignoring them, or that they aren't important. We are not glued at the hips.
I hope you weren't expecting someone to actually provide advice on how to keep this guy around and happy, because you can't. You can ride it for what it's worth and end it.
Good luck.
Come on, you have to know he isn't husband and father material. There is no future here, at least not a happy and healthy one. He is controlling, selfish and can't see outside of himself and his needs. In fact, he is starting to display several characteristics of someone with an abusive personality. He isn't a great guy. Great guys don't act like this, bad ones do.
Run away from this one, do some self introspection and get to the bottom of how you got in this position. Any woman who knows her worth wouldn't put up with this nonsense. Stay single for a long time and have higher standards for yourself.
Yeah... immature/insecure/controlling - whatever the mix is, he falls into all these categories.
And it's NOT "sweet" that he is telling you to NOT go on that trip. It might be sweet that he'll miss you, but for him to actually propose that you DON'T go - not sweet. Insecure and controlling is all that it is.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10