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HELP! Should I leave...?
Hello!
I started working at a small company (10 people) at the end of March. Not long after I began my job, my husband and I found out we were expecting! This was an unplanned pregnancy but totally welcomed; we are beyond ecstatic.
So I'm the receptionist at this small company. The people who work here have worked here forever, which to me said a lot about the company and its environment. However, besides the fact that my husband and I are 99.99% sure I'm leaving when baby is due to be a stay at home mom, I've been having a lot of struggles at my job.
Being a receptionist, someone always needs to be near the phone. Of course, being pregnant, I use the bathroom ALL the time (which I think got on some of the girls' nerves, the ones who had to watch the desk while I went to the bathroom). And being in a bigger city, it takes me roughly 45 min. to get home. So I don't get home until 6pm and then am so tired, it's time for bed. So of course when I see my other coworkers coming and going as they please, I get a little upset that I'm so "tied down" to this desk and the phone.
When there is work to be done, I put my all into it. I am a very ambitious person (Bachelor's degree in Spanish-so I feel overqualified for this position). I kid you not, 90% of my day is spent surfing the web. I realize this is some people's dream job-to get paid to do absolutely nothing-but to me, it's my worst nightmare.
I have become increasingly anxious over this past month. Sometimes I sit at my desk, holding down a lump in my throat so I don't burst into tears (I know I know, pregnancy hormones are probably to blame). But I feel so useless and unappreciated here. I'll always be "just the receptionist" and I'm sure my coworkers think I can do nothing except browse the internet.
It's been affecting my marriage. My husband wants to help me feel happy, but doesn't understand how to help me. And I don't know what to do either.
Trying to stay at this job until baby comes in 5 months, but afraid that the mental toll it's taking on me will further hurt me, my husband, and our relationship.
I'd really appreciate any advice.
Re: HELP! Should I leave...?
If you are planning to leave the job anyway in about five months, why are you staying now? Is it the insurance? The extra money? Both?
I'm assuming it is at least one of those or you would have already left. I am super sympathetic with you. I had a job a few years ago that was truly soul sucking and just god awful. Despite the fact that I had a BS and more experience than my supervisor (but she had seniority), I was treated like a nothing office minion.
In my second year there, they laid off the receptionist and I had to add that position to my own. Like you, there were "special" rules for me that didn't apply to anyone else.
If you truly need to stay to help pay for expenses with the baby coming, the best advice I can give is to look toward the future when you are having a bad time. Keep reminding yourself it is only for a short time that you need to put up with it.