I'm stuck!

jleonis88 · July 2014

2 days ago I found out I was pregnant with my second child. My husband and daughter have been living with my parents trying to save money for our own place. We planned on moving out in October but having this baby will be a major setback. We've contemplated getting an abortion but even doing that right now is expensive. It seems like every time we move forward something always pulls us back. What should I do??

Xstatic3333 · July 2014

I agree that if you post your budget we can give more specific help. I'm sorry you are in a tough situation.

In general, I might look at staying with your parents until you are safely post-baby, provided that it is a safe, healthy situation and you are welcome there. But, a budget could help with more specifics.

jleonis88 · July 2014

Monthly Income both: 2400

Rent : 0

Car Note: 260

Care Insurance 180

Phone bill 200

Cable & Internet 140

Groceries: 400/mon

We're both still in school and sharing one car so we spend about 350 in gas monthly.

I also live in Miami so the cheapest there is for a 2 bedroom would be 1200.

jleonis88 · July 2014

We're already cramped at my parents so having another baby here is not an option.

vlagrl29 · July 2014

What is a car note? I would cut cable, but keep the internet connection. There are lots of things you can watch on the internet these days instead of cable. Phone bill seems a bit high. What carrier are you with. I think Tmobile has some really affordable plans these days. Do you have health insurance.

I would stay with your parents until the baby is born at least. I personally couldn't get an abortion, but I know it's a very personal decision.

emily1004 · July 2014

@vlagrl29 A car note is a car payment.

OP, Having an abortion is a very personal decision. However, you say you are very cramped in the house right now...Babies don't take up that much space. What are you dealing with here space wise?

You have to cut your cell phones. No more smart phones. Also cut the cable, all you need is internet. Also see if you can find cheaper insurance. Is there a reason it's so high? We pay $160 for two cars, which is high for the rest of the country but we live in Michigan and have some of the highest rates. With the amount you are making you might qualify for food stamps. Look into it.

formerlyGDaisy09 · July 2014

I'm assuming car note is your car payment. how much is left on the loan? (or does car note mean you're leasing?)

depending on howmuch is left on the loan I'd pay that off ASAP. if you're leasing, STOP IT, and save-up for an affordable reliable car and try to buy it out-right. maybe something fuel efficient since a big part of your expenses is coming from fuel?

Your cell phone seems way high, since you need to save can you ditch the smart phones?

definitely get rid of cable

I see about $870 extra right now, that should be going towards paying off the car. if you can eliminate the car payment and cable, and lower your cell phone I see you being able to pay the $1200...however then you're going to have utilities (electric, water, etc) that you'll also have to pay. Is adding more hours or another PT job a possibility?

formerlyGDaisy09 · July 2014

good point on the insurance, we pay $130 for 2 cars.

hoffse · July 2014

I agree with PP.

Cable needs to be cut now. Sorry, but you guys don't bring home enough to spend that much on cable.

Phone bill is quite high. See if you can switch to a pay as you go or dumb phone. Check T-mobile like PP mentioned. Right now you guys are paying 15% of your take-home for electronics/internet/phones/etc. You say that both of you are students. If you have access to a library, then frankly none of it is necessary outside of a dumb phone for emergencies.

Car insurance seems very high to me for one car. We pay half that for two cars, and one of them was brand new back in March. I know, I know - insurance prices vary around the country. But you might want to call around and see if you can get this lowered.

We cannot advise you on an abortion. That's a very personal choice. If it were me, I would find a way to make it work at my parents' house. You cannot afford to move out. If space is an issue, then I would co-sleep with one or both kids. Babies don't need much at all.

vlagrl29 · July 2014

$400 on groceries is about right for 3 people. That's what we spend per month so I don't know if she can really cut the cost on that.

Our tmobile plan for 2 smart phones, 2 lines is $100 with taxes.

vlagrl29 · July 2014

if you have been with the same car insurance place for awhile get quotes for a new company. We switched to state farm a few years ago and saved a ton of money.

emily1004 · July 2014

AprilH81 said:

AprilH81 said:

The cable needs to go and your phones need to be cut down to the bare bones. Sell the smart phones and get "dumb" phones without data/texting.

I would cut back on the groceries, $400 for three people (one being a child) seems a bit on the high side. You guys don't have the money to be eating premium cuts of meat.

How far are you driving to/from school? DH and I spend about $350 a month on fuel for TWO cars...

Can either of you get a second job to bring in more money? Do you have any extra stuff that you can sell to bring in some extra cash?

Do you have any debt outside of the car loan? If not, then if you make those cut backs you can save another $300ish a month and over the course of your pregnancy that would be an EXTRA $2,700 you would have in savings.

Oh, and look into lower insurance rates for the car.

With your income you may be eligible for some government assistance programs that will help you get through the pregnancy. SNAP (food stamps), WIC, and Medicaid would all be possible based on your joint income and the fact you have one child and are pregnant again. There may be others out there.

This is true. My best friends roommate got pregnant in college. She got a lot of assistance for food, college tuition and medical while in school.

jleonis88 · July 2014

A car note sorry is our Car payment. We both work in the next county over which is why gas is so expensive. My husbands a vegan so I rarely eat meat myself. Eating healthy is more expensive then junk. And its not just groceries in that budget its toiletries, feminine and baby products. We're both working full time and going to school full-time getting a second job is death. We recently renewed our contracts with verizon Its 2 phones and an iPad. Our cable and internet used to be 70 bucks but i guess the promotion is over so it just randomly went u to 140 2 months ago. So we're gonna cancel the cable soon. I do have health insurance so thats not an issue with the baby. Its just after the baby gets here with daycare expenses for 2 babies and my due date is april and I'm expected to graduate May. We're also working on improving our credit.

hoffse · July 2014

jleonis88 said:

A car note sorry is our Car payment. We both work in the next county over which is why gas is so expensive. My husbands a vegan so I rarely eat meat myself. Eating healthy is more expensive then junk. And its not just groceries in that budget its toiletries, feminine and baby products. We're both working full time and going to school full-time getting a second job is death. We recently renewed our contracts with verizon Its 2 phones and an iPad. Our cable and internet used to be 70 bucks but i guess the promotion is over so it just randomly went u to 140 2 months ago. So we're gonna cancel the cable soon. I do have health insurance so thats not an issue with the baby. Its just after the baby gets here with daycare expenses for 2 babies and my due date is april and I'm expected to graduate May. We're also working on improving our credit.

You don't need smart phones OR an iPad. Seriously, pay the cancellation fee. It will pay for itself in about 2-3 months withOUT a smartphone.

You did not mention daycare in your budget. What do you pay for that?

Do you have a job lined up post-graduation? What is left on the car payment?

jleonis88 · July 2014

I've tried for food assistance but we make too much. Im assuming everyone lies on they're applications. Since I'm pregnant now I will try again. We live in Miami Fl. thats why insurance is so high.

brij2006 · July 2014

You can make anything work when it NEEDS to be done. That is my first tip. So you CAN have this baby at your parents. You just have to make sacrifices.

It looks like you have an income problem. If a 2 bedroom apartment is $1,200 a month and you are bringing in $2,400 a month, then your housing expenses will be 50% of your income. Not including utilities. That is much more than it should be, and you can not afford to move out of their house anyways.

First, I would cut out the cable. It isn't needed. Then get dumb phones and go to a very small and simple cell phone plan. Sell the car to get rid of the payment, and buy a vehicle in cash that will hold 4 people. This could also then possibly get cheaper car insurance since you would no longer need full coverage.

Sorry, and I'm very blunt on this board, but I would never abort a child due to finances. Instead look at what sacrifices need to be made in order to bring this child into the world and put its needs over your iPhone or car that has a payment. You can make it work, you just have to do it.

Xstatic3333 · July 2014

Easy cuts: cable, smart phones, and groceries. I'd aim for $300 a month.

I know Miami is expensive for insurance, but I'd also at least call around for some competitive quotes.

Tougher cuts: I would look at one or both of you pausing school to work more hours. Are you full time currently? Could you add hours or get a second job to make yourselves full time+? Since I don't see daycare as an expense, I assume you can get it free from family.

Also, if you owe less on the car than it is worth I'd look into selling it and getting a safe used car with cash. I wouldn't recommend a total beater since you have kids.

Could you get a cheaper apartment in a suburb of Miami?

In the short term, I'd save every extra penny coming in for a baby fund. Once baby is here safely and without complications I would crunch the numbers again on moving out. I know it will suck in the short term :-/

brij2006 · July 2014

Okay, I just read your other post. If you're set to graduate in May then wouldn't you be getting a new job with possibly higher pay? Live with your parents, cut out anything and everything, and work toward getting a higher income before you move out. If you graduate in May and have a job lined up my June or July, then your infant may only be a few months old before you move out. Living in tight quarters for a short amount of time is doable.

hoffse · July 2014

brij2006 said:

You can make anything work when it NEEDS to be done. That is my first tip. So you CAN have this baby at your parents. You just have to make sacrifices.

It looks like you have an income problem. If a 2 bedroom apartment is $1,200 a month and you are bringing in $2,400 a month, then your housing expenses will be 50% of your income. Not including utilities. That is much more than it should be, and you can not afford to move out of their house anyways.

First, I would cut out the cable. It isn't needed. Then get dumb phones and go to a very small and simple cell phone plan. Sell the car to get rid of the payment, and buy a vehicle in cash that will hold 4 people. This could also then possibly get cheaper car insurance since you would no longer need full coverage.

Sorry, and I'm very blunt on this board, but I would never abort a child due to finances. Instead look at what sacrifices need to be made in order to bring this child into the world and put its needs over your iPhone or car that has a payment. You can make it work, you just have to do it.

**STUCK IN BOX**

This. Times 1000. I personally think that Baby > Spacious Living Area. And Baby > Smart Phone. You can make just about anything work if you are willing to do it.

formerlyGDaisy09 · July 2014

Wow..So Get rid of the iPad and 2 smart phones...you could probably sell them and more than cover whatever cancelation fee you're charged.

definitely look into food assistance, WIC, etc. a family of 3 making $2400/month should qualify, especially if you're pregnant.

What kid of car do you drive, and how much is left on the loan?

Eating healthy being more expensive than not is a MYTH, shop generic, but frozen veggies instead of fresh, or canned if you must. certain things have value if you buy them organic (berries/thin skinned fruits and veggies) other have less value if they're organic (tough skinned things that you peal the outer layer off of (bananas, corn, etc.). you can definitely cut that grocery bill down, you may need to make a few compromises, but being vegetarian is not an excuse...in fact meat is often the thing that makes grocery bills more. H and I have saved a TON of money eating vegetarian 4-5 nights a week.

to the same point as others...if you really must get out of your parent's house, couldn't you find a 1-bedroom and co-sleep until you can get it together and balance your budget for a bigger place?

CuriousKiddosMama · July 2014

Absolutely agreeing with Hoffse and Brij2006. A baby is a million times more important than any of the stuff in your life. Sell the Ipad- yes I went there. Get rid of the data on your cell phones (hell, get rid of them for pay as you go phones). Cut the car insurance, sell the car and get something cash so you don't have a payment. If you graduate in May you should start making enough money where you will be comfortable moving out. In the mean time appreciate the fact that you have a place to stay with family, and when this new baby comes, appreciate the extra help you have. It is under a year away for you being done with school. In a year - 14 months you can be moved out. You can do anything for that long- it really isn't that long.

As a person who has had a miscarriage- I can tell you I would trade anything for that baby, so it makes it really hard for me to understand you or anybody wanting to abort a baby. I will say thank you for posting this here rather than on the bump in a BMB or any other board there.

jleonis88 · July 2014

Thanks everyone for the advice I've took in a lot and really appreciate it.. We only have 5 months of payments left on the car which we're happy about. When DH comes home tonight we'll be discussing our finances and all the changes we have to make.

MommyLiberty5013 · July 2014

HUGS! I know it seems like a tough road ahead re: money, living arrangements, and baby.

Try to visualize yourself and your family 5 or 10 years from now. Would you rather have that lovely boy or girl to love and to love you or to cut out that child now in the short-term to feel better momentarily regarding finances? I think that you're in panic mode right now and therefore all "options" are being considered. But, put the emotions aside and think for a moment about your heart and mind in the long term. You may end up majorly regretting this abortion decision especially because it is motivated by cramped living space and finances.

If the coming baby is indeed too difficult - please put him/her up for adoption. There is a huge list of moms and dads out there who'd love to have a new little one.

jleonis88 · July 2014

By the way we do pay for daycare its 600 a month but my sister is home for the summer so we're using her until school starts in the fall.

jleonis88 · July 2014

Thanks ladies aborting our baby is no longer an option. It wasn't my suggestion to begin with DH just thought it might had been best option for us with our situation.

hoffse · July 2014

Glad to hear that's off the table. I definitely understand that it's scary/frustrating, but I think you guys will be much happier in the long run with this decision!

Xstatic3333 · July 2014

I agree-glad you've decided to move forward and make the tough cuts with your H! Best of luck, healthy pregnancy, and please let us know how it goes!

vlagrl29 · July 2014

Check to see if you can get on WIC. I think you can, but not sure your state requirements.

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