Update in comments - Talk me down off my ledge please - First appointment tomorrow

simsk3887 · July 2014

Hi Ladies-
For those who don't know our history we got pregnant our first month of trying in March. It was a super easy pregnancy and I felt amazing for the 3 weeks it lasted. At 7w4d I had some spotting in the evening and headed to the ER. Exam was normal and the transvaginal u/s showed a perfect bean with a heart beat of 164bpm. They send me home saying that I should have an uneventful rest of my pregnancy.

The next day everything changed and we ended up losing our baby. We were completely devastated and after how our 2014 started, it was just another blow. We lost my FIL after a 4 month battle with breast cancer and lost a house on closing day.

Now, here we are a few months later at 6w1d with our rainbow. I refuse to say 'hope-it's-our-rainbow' and rather believe that it will be. However, I find myself extremely nervous for our appointment tomorrow. I know we will be having an u/s and I feel so anxious that we will see a healthy baby and then lose it. I know logically the u/s had nothing to do with what happened, yet I still find myself nervous about it. This pregnancy has been rough, especially over the past few days when I've been so nauseous for 90% of the day and night so I'm sure my hormones are there.

I guess I'm just looking to vent a little and get a little reassurance that everything will be ok. I know no one can predict the future and I know my past does not dictate my future but right now I'm having a hard time convincing myself of these things.

sgautschi · July 2014

It's okay to be nervous, just try to keep your mind busy if you can and remind yourself that there's nothing you can do except try to enjoy this pregnancy one day at a time. Sending lots of T&Ps for a very healthy and sticky baby!

bobcee · July 2014

It's hard, but try not to think of the what-ifs. You can't change the future, but you can live in and enjoy the present.

lindsayandjamie · July 2014

It's normal to be nervous. Even at this point I can't get excited for ultrasounds because of how devestating past utrasounds have been.

Rest assured that tomorrow you will see a beautiful little bean with a strong heartbeat and you will go on to have a healthy pregnancy. Today you are pregnant.
Thinking of you xo

FutureMrsWright2012 · July 2014

I agree with PP's... It's all about taking it one day at a time. Now that I'm at 9 weeks, I'm a little less stressed, but those first few weeks were rough. No history of loss, but it's been a long road to get here. To calm down, I would tell myself, "I love my baby and today I am pregnant and have no reason to think otherwise right now." FX that everything looks great tomorrow and that little one stays snuggled in for the next 7 1/2 months! Hugs to you!

Uptowngirl2009 · July 2014

Agreed with the other ladies. They've given you some good advice. I hope you have a great appointment tomorrow and an uneventful pregnancy!

simsk3887 · July 2014

Thanks for the words of wisdom ladies. My appointment isn't until 11:30 but we have a vet appointment for Jasmine at 9 so hopefully our morning will be busy. I'll update afterwards.

botanicalbliss · July 2014

Good luck!

MRads · July 2014

Good luck. Thinking of you!

LuckyAngel07 · July 2014

Thinking of you today, @simsk3887!!

Keep reminding yourself that every awful pregnancy symptom you're dealing with is a really good thing. That horrible nausea? It means your hormone levels are going strong and baby is snuggled in tight! I completely understand that you may not be able to relax until you're at least past the time of your loss. In the meantime, enjoy knowing you are pregnant right now and focus on being in the moment.

((hugs)) and love. Can't wait to hear how things go later!

Sewilson33 · July 2014

Good luck today! I agree with the PP's you just need to try and enjoy the now and not think about the what if's. I know easier said then done, but hopefully this appointment will bring you some piece of mind.

brij2006 · July 2014

Good luck today!

There's nothing wrong with thinking about the what-if's or always being nervous. After our losses I am now almost 11 weeks and have been proven twice that our baby is just fine. Yet I'm still nervous, don't feel comfortable telling people we're pregnant, nor getting excited about the pregnancy. It is all normal things to feel after a loss, and you are not alone.

simsk3887 · July 2014

Well nothing exciting to report back. Just talked a lot, did bloodwork, my annual exam and a pevlic exam. They didn't say when the bloodwork would be back. I was a bit annoyed at the nurses because they asked if this was my first pregnancy. I said, no it's my second. They didn't ask anything further. Then part way through the appointment they ask me how old my first is. Grumble. I had to hold DH back. He was livid because I was already in tears over explaining the whole thing again after no one read my history apparently. So frustrating.

Also when I scheduled the nurse said that they would do an ultrasound today. No go there. But I was able to convince them to give me a script for one and have it scheduled for tomorrow at 3:30. I think I'll feel a bit better after that. I'll post pictures after that tomorrow.

Thanks again for the support ladies. It means a lot to me.

MRads · July 2014

Sorry your first appt was so frustrating.

islandmonkey8 · July 2014

I'd be pissed if they hadn't read my history before asking stupid freaking questions. I am happy that you're getting an ultrasound tomorrow!

Sewilson33 · July 2014

If my nurse didn't read any of my history I would be pissed too... I'm glad you are getting an u/s tomorrow though!!

simsk3887 · July 2014

The thing that makes me angry is the tech at the lab did the same thing last time. I went in with pelvic pain (possible cyst rupture) for an ultrasound and I had to fill out a history sheet specific to pregnancies prior to it. The tech who did the ultrasound had no idea about any of it. Why do I fill out so many forms that people don't read??

carcrashheart · July 2014

Unfortunately, that's all pretty normal. It won't be the last time you will have to explain how many pregnancies and how many live births you've had. It gets easier, but always stings a little. It will come up many times throughout the pregnancy as well as afterwards. I hate to say to get used to it, but at least try to be prepared for it emotionally. I'm on my fifth pregnancy with one live birth. I still have to write it on paperwork and give the info at appts. The nurses don't tend to review lengthy histories first, the dr's do though. It's second nature for me to respond anymore and isn't quite as hard since having DS.

And to pp who mentioned that m/s = all good-meh, bit entirely true. Missed miscarriages happen and it's when the baby stops growing and passes away but the body isn't aware, so it continues acting pregnant. Hormones keep blazing, symptoms rage on, bellies grow. It's not as fool proof as most want to think. But I know the though makes us all feel better to think your way.

Hope your u/s helps you to feel more at ease. It's a long nine months, but it's worth it to make it to the end. Hang in there.

sgautschi · July 2014

I'm sorry your appointment was frustrating, but I'm glad you have a definite ultrasound scheduled now. Can't wait for an update!

brij2006 · July 2014

Sorry about the history part, but @carcrashheart is correct. It will come up multiple times from now on, and it's better to just mentally prepare yourself for explaining it. At this last appointment I had to explain that this is my 4th pregnancy. They asked me if I've ever delivered at X hospital, and I had to explain that none of them were live births. It isn't easy, but I understand that they do not know every piece to our puzzle. It's my job to fill them in when they ask and explain that is why I'm very anxious about this pregnancy.

Can't wait to hear how the ultrasound went.

simsk3887 · July 2014

I think the thing that caught me off guard was the lack of follow up the first time around. It would have saved the awkwardness down the line.

But I'll be sure to prepare myself for the same issue over and over.

I don't know the tears were simply from the question but rather the anxiety of the whole thing. I never made it to my first appointment last time, and even though this one was 2 weeks earlier than that one was, I still was overwhelmed with emotions.

Definitely excited for tomorrow though.

skreedrake · July 2014

I'm so sorry you had such a frustrating appointment, but I hope the U/S tomorrow is great and that your fears and worries are put to rest for the time being.

But yeah... CCH is right. Unfortunately, nurses sometimes just don't read very closely. When I was going in for my D&C the first time I miscarried, I had no less than 3 nurses ask me if I had taken a pregnancy test yet prior to surgery and what I was having surgery for. I had no idea how to answer their questions without looking like a complete idiot.

FutureMrsWright2012 · July 2014

Sorry about the experience today, but GL at your U/S tomorrow!!!

pb&fluff · July 2014

I'm sorry your appointment was so frustrating. FWIW, nurses don't usually go through your history or your chart prior to walking in the room - it's simply not part of what they are there to do. A lot of times patients will ask me questions, and I have to say, "I'm sorry, I don't know enough about your history to give you an answer. I will defer that to the Dr."

Also, with a history of loss, unfortunately you will run into questions like that a lot. When I was pregnant with P, I would get asked, is this your first pregnancy a lot. To avoid the awkward follow up questions, I'd elaborate for them: "No, this is my 3rd, I've had 2 losses." That helped a little. Maybe you could try that?

pb&fluff · July 2014

Also, please know I'm not trying to minimize what your feel or felt at that moment. I understand your pain and frustration. ((Hugs))

LuckyAngel07 · July 2014

That is an incredibly frustrating first appt! Did they even explain why you were told you'd have an u/s and then didn't get one?

Everyone has already addressed the questions. When I had to fill out my initial paperwork at the OB's office for this pregnancy, it felt like taking a bullet to have to fill in "1" next to number of previous pregnancies and "0" for number of children/live births. Thankfully, no one asked me anything further, since by then most were familiar that I was coming from an RE. Hopefully you won't get too many more questions like that.

FX for a great u/s today, though!!

Update in comments - Talk me down off my ledge please - First appointment tomorrow

Re: Update in comments - Talk me down off my ledge please - First appointment tomorrow

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