MIL Advice

Re: MIL Advice

• VOR member

  

  August 2014

  Don't get too caught up "but it's OUR house".  I'm sure in my life, I have referred to someone's home in the singular when it's very much the couple's house.  I mean nothing by it.  It's just the name that came out of my mouth because THAT person was on my mind.

  Past that - what did your DH say or do when his mom said this?  While she's absolutely in the wrong to plan a party at your house, why didn't your DH say "Um, mom, no"?  NOthing can happen w/o his and yours permission. You both can actually still call her up and say "no - there will be no party at our house".

  She'll pull this as long as both of you sit back and say nothing in response. 

  And if you do all the cooking and cleaning and not your DH, well, that's really on you. 

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• TarponMonoxide member

  

  August 2014

  zaria115 said:

  My husband and I have been married for 10 months now, and his parents are very nice people, but sometimes they can just be extremely rude and I'm not sure how to respond to it.  For example, my husband's dad's birthday is coming up and originally the plan was to do something at their house, well last week while my husband was having dinner with his mom she just told him that they were now going to have the party at our house and has already started inviting people.  Turns out she invited my parents as well and left them a message saying the party will be at John's house, not mentioning me or even saying that it was our house. 
  
  
  First off, she ought not to be inviting extra people --- maybe you only had enough food and cake for only those you invited!.
  
  And second off, the party is at "Zaria115 and John's house."
  
  My xSIL used to pull this shit on me --- things like invitations arriving here for parties for the nephews and nice addressed only to my H and not "Mr. And Mrs" or "Tarpon and H."
  
  Nip this in the bud while you can. Stand up for yourself.
  
  I'd flat out say, "I beg to differ but John and I are joint inhabitants of our home, therefore it is our home. Kindly do not say 'John's house' in the future. I am very annoyed."
  
  Or better yet:
  
  John himself needs to say this to them in your presence.
  
  We bought the house together before we were married, so it is most definitely our house and I am the one that will end up doing all of the cooking and cleaning, so I eel like it would be nice to be included or at least be an after thought.
  
  
  After thought? You are far better than that. Rectify this mess NOW.
  
   I guess what makes me the most frustrated is that I wasn't asked about having the party at our house, I was told.  And then after that I'm just not included at all.  Has anyone else been in this type of situation before?
  

  Wait...you did not plan this party?
  
  She more or less did, by virtue of the fact that she did the invting???
  
  This is wrong, wrong wrong.
  
  You and your H need to be --- as I always say --- a team.
  
  And if he won't go to bat for you, very bad news. I'd send him home to his parents and let him stay there.
  

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• Disneygeek77 member

  

  August 2014

  She does this because you both let her.  Unless you start telling her " No " then they will keep doing it.

  
  

  
  

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• WendyGR member

  

  August 2014

  what was his response? Mine would have said, "Oh helz no, you better call those people back and tell them you made a mistake, it's here at Dad's house."  And I would most definitely not be home on that day just in case she didn't tell people the correction.

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• Leftie22 member

  

  August 2014

  That's crazy and rude. She can't "host" something at your house without your permission. Your DH needs to talk to her and let her know that she can't do this without both of your consent.

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