Homebuying Blues?

duckie1905 · July 2014

My husband and I are buying a house; we have until the end of the year on our rental so we have lots of time, but we've had one deal fall through on inspection, another we lost the bid too, and right now there just isn't that much on the market that we want to see.

Is is normal to feel kind of overwhelmed and depressed regarding the entire process? I knew it wouldn't be perfect but I just don't have much desire to look for a house anymore.

emily1004 · July 2014

Then take a break! We did. We looked for our first home for more than two years. (It allowed us to buy more house because we saved more.) Sometimes you just have to step back. Especially if the market is not in your favor. It's so easy to get emotionally wrapped up in this process, but for me, I just kept telling myself, this is purely a business transaction.

Good Luck!

elaineee55 · August 2014

I have had so much blues/depression about this whole process, stress ate a looooootttt of ice cream haha. I agree with, Emily, take a break. You have time so take it and relax. Only go for homes that could potentially be the one and never get attached. If you go in nonchalant, it might shock you and go through! Good luck!

OtterJ · August 2014

We closed last week, so now I think we need to go on a diet....there has been lots stress-eating with comfort food and chocolate the last 5 months.

We had a hard time finding a house. First there weren't a lot on the market, then we found something, but had to walk away from a contract after inspections, we lost lots of bids, and then there were a TON of houses on the market once summer started, but they were all out of our price range!

Once we found & started the process to finalize the loan for our house, I was so "spent" that I didn't have any energy to get excited. Then the real stress started....Our lender was super difficult to work with, and we had delay after delay.....most of July was a sad month. BUT it finally ended. August is much happier. It's busier though; we didn't do much packing before closing because it kept looking like we were going to lose this house too, and I didn't want to live out of boxes (I was already sad enough - I didn't want the depressing reminder of a packed-up apartment), so now we get to play catch up and try to move out/in quickly.

And then....HOUSE REPAIRS! Yay! The stress never ends, but I can cope with the daily stress of having a lot to do on something that I know is secure. That "unstable" feeling that you have while house hunting/buying was no fun. No fun at all.

Honestly, I don't know what I'm happier about. The new house, or the fact that I no longer have to go house hunting. I'm sorry that you're having a difficult time too, but know that you're not alone. You'll get through it, just hang on, and take a little break if you need to. Something else that might help (if you're not already), make sure to still have fun every now and then. We tried to still have one date night a week, and we never worked on house stuff on Sunday....it kept me sane (mostly).

Bubblegum5586 · August 2014

As PP mentioned once you get the house there is all new stress (although mostly good stress). I was so excited that we closed at the end of June ensuring 2 whole months of summer left that we can enjoy.... oh wait today is August 1st?!?!!? That whole first month FLEW by as we spent every waking moment working on the house. It's really starting to feel like home and we love it, but I am bummed summer is flying by and I have yet to go to the beach!!!

hggy15 · August 2014

Duckie you are not alone. My fiancé and I fell in love with a house we went to see last year, it is the kind of place he and I have both wanted since we were little. We've had our fingers crossed ever since, watched it go under contract and come back on the market, and now I finally have the down-payment saved up and called my realtor a few weeks ago to set up a time to do a thorough walk through before making our offer. I just happened to glance at the listing today and found out it's under contract again

..... just days before I was going to make an offer... I am so upset and disheartened I don't even want to continue planning my wedding (yea I'm doing that at the same time), I feel like it's all pointless now because we were designing our lives around this house.... so I can definitely relate to your depression/overwhelmed feelings regarding the home buying process. We were already deciding which bedrooms would be for each kid, where our garden would go, where our rocking chairs would sit on the porch, the whole 9 yards... stupid and unrealistic I know, but it is really hard not to fall in love with a house when it really is just right. The worst part of all of it is the inability to do anything about the circumstance, I can't do anything about "my home" being under contract just like you can't magically make a home you want appear on the market...... I feel for you, I'll tell you what I keep trying to tell myself; whatever is meant to be will be and all you can do is hope for the best and keep your eyes peeled.

CowgirlK39 · August 2014

Yes!!! We are under contract right now after house hunting for over a year. We looked at so many places but none felt right. There was one we really loved but we got beat by a cash offer. After lots of disappointing visits, we just said "if it's meant to be it will be." A week later, a home we had seen before dropped in price and now we love it. You just need to occupy yourself with other things and get your mind off it for a bit.

indianaalum · August 2014

I feel your pain. We put in a bid on a house, she accepted bid, and all week long we planned and did everything, then out of blue (and without explanation) she cancelled contract. We are left with zero explanation and are just devastated.

It feels like a bad breakup where I just want to get some closure.

To make matter worse, I am 6 months pregnant and this just ruined the last chance to find something before the baby comes. I have cried for the last 24 hours and feel paralyzed to even look at any other houses now

indianaalum · August 2014

ske87 said:

Duckie you are not alone. My fiancé and I fell in love with a house we went to see last year, it is the kind of place he and I have both wanted since we were little. We've had our fingers crossed ever since, watched it go under contract and come back on the market, and now I finally have the down-payment saved up and called my realtor a few weeks ago to set up a time to do a thorough walk through before making our offer. I just happened to glance at the listing today and found out it's under contract again ..... just days before I was going to make an offer... I am so upset and disheartened I don't even want to continue planning my wedding (yea I'm doing that at the same time), I feel like it's all pointless now because we were designing our lives around this house.... so I can definitely relate to your depression/overwhelmed feelings regarding the home buying process. We were already deciding which bedrooms would be for each kid, where our garden would go, where our rocking chairs would sit on the porch, the whole 9 yards... stupid and unrealistic I know, but it is really hard not to fall in love with a house when it really is just right. The worst part of all of it is the inability to do anything about the circumstance, I can't do anything about "my home" being under contract just like you can't magically make a home you want appear on the market...... I feel for you, I'll tell you what I keep trying to tell myself; whatever is meant to be will be and all you can do is hope for the best and keep your eyes peeled.

I can totally related. I actually did a bid and it was accepted. Paid my earnest money and was waiting for inspection. My husband and I planned each room and told everybody about the house only to have home seller back out without any type of explanation..and then put it back up for sale 2 hours later.

WTF? Was I not good enough to live in the house?!? CRAZY

Xstatic3333 · August 2014

@lindseymortgagespecialist‌ it is against the rules to advertise on the boards. I'd edit your posts.

duckie1905 · August 2014

Thanks everyone, I felt much better reading everyone's experiences!

short+sassy · August 2014

I also think a break is a good idea. It's hard to not get discouraged sometimes during the home buying process. I was under contract for a house for SIX months (long story) that then ended up falling through.

I definitely needed to take a break after that! I completely stopped looking for about six weeks and then got back on the horse. I found the house I bought almost as soon as I started looking again and it was a much better option than the first one had been! I hope you have the same luck .

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