October 2012 Weddings
brainybrunette
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Am I a bad friend?
So, I've mentioned before that I'm a BM in my bestie's wedding this fall. The wedding is in CA, and between flights, hotel, dress, etc I'm spending over $1000 on this wedding. My friend was in town a few weeks ago for a work trip, and we were talking about how money is tight for H and I because my graduate student stipend ran out in Jan (lab had no money to pay me...thanks NIH cuts) and I haven't had luck on the job search. We had a long talk that H and I can pay the bills, but we have no money for extras. My friend understood because she recently got her Ph.D. and she knows how tough the job search is.
About a week ago, my friend called me to say that she was going to be in NC for work at the end of the month, that her friends were having a bachelorette party for her there (My friend got her Ph.D. from a school in NC, so she still has friends there...although, none of them are in the bridal party), and how she'd love for me to be there. I felt really bad, but I told her that I just didn't have the money for a flight to NC. She replied with how about I drive there since I'm the BM that lives the closest. Again, I reminded her that I don't have extra $ even for the gas to drive that far, let alone for booze and other bachelorette party nonsense. She didn't seem happy with me and I felt really bad, but this wedding is already costing so much. None of the other BMs will be there either, they all live too far away too.
Yesterday, I got an email from MOH saying that the girls in NC were having an underwear game where everyone buys a pair and she has to guess who gave her which ones. She told me (and the other BMs) that if we wanted to participate, we could mail our undies to someone in NC and they'd take care of the game. Now, I don't have a problem participating in this, but the party is this weekend! Leaving me no time to find something cute and get it to NC in time for the party. Clearly MOH knew about this in advance because she included a description of what she bought and mailed in the email. I don't understand why she couldn't have given a bit more notice. Now I'm afraid that if I can't get mine there in time and don't participate my friend will be even more disappointed in me, but I just don't see how this is even feasible without paying ridiculous shipping charges for a pair of undies.
I feel like a bad friend : (
Re: Am I a bad friend?
You are not a bad friend at all!! The fact that you are asking us proves that you really care about your friend. I'm sure she's disappointed, but understanding at the same time. As for the panties, it's kind of short notice. I probably wouldn't bother with it at all, or mail them directly to her after she's back home from the party.