October 2011 Weddings
ZeroOrchestra
member
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Y'all.
Ok so I'm sitting by myself in a little wine bar in Brooklyn. H is resting up since his appointment is tomorrow and we have to drive out to great neck early.
So we left the kiddo in MIL's care. BIL and his family were OOT for the weekend and will be around tomorrow and Tuesday to give her a break.
Well.
So it turned out that MIL's nieces wedding reception (ppd) was yesterday. She wanted to go although she already committed to watching the kiddo. We didn't want her to take him bc we knew it was going to be an adult event at their home with lots of people and they have an I ground pool. Not to mention it's an hour drive. Mil said she only wanted to go for an hour, two at most, so we arranged a play date with H's friend, his wife and daughter.
Well, come to find out that some of their parenting views are some that we don't agree with so I started feeling anxious about it. H spoke with his friend about it and he reassured us they would respect our wishes. But still, I worry. Mil agreed with me and when she dropped us off at the airport said she decided not to go to the reception after all and that she would drop him off for the play date for no more than3 hours and pick him up. This way, she would be on the same side of town rather than an hour away. Great, I feel great about all this.
So she sent me a message that she dropped him off at 10am and he was happy and all that.
Around 530 H told me he got a non-sensical text from her, something about someone offered to drive her to go pick up the kiddo and bring them both back to the reception. He told her no, absolutely not.
Hold the phone. She told me she wasn't going.
So I start freaking out and text her to check in. She does not respond until 7, saying she is just leaving the reception to get him. 2 hours and 3 more not responded to texts later, she has finally picked up my child.
I am seeing red at this point. H is also angry.
So today, SIL calls me after they got back in town and says that mil told her "oh yeah, I said I was t going to go but then I went anyways", or something to that effect. And thought it was no big deal.
Basically, she left my child for 10 hours in the care of people I would not leave him with for that long while she is on the other side of town. And thinks she's done nothing wrong.
I.am.done.with.her.
So we left the kiddo in MIL's care. BIL and his family were OOT for the weekend and will be around tomorrow and Tuesday to give her a break.
Well.
So it turned out that MIL's nieces wedding reception (ppd) was yesterday. She wanted to go although she already committed to watching the kiddo. We didn't want her to take him bc we knew it was going to be an adult event at their home with lots of people and they have an I ground pool. Not to mention it's an hour drive. Mil said she only wanted to go for an hour, two at most, so we arranged a play date with H's friend, his wife and daughter.
Well, come to find out that some of their parenting views are some that we don't agree with so I started feeling anxious about it. H spoke with his friend about it and he reassured us they would respect our wishes. But still, I worry. Mil agreed with me and when she dropped us off at the airport said she decided not to go to the reception after all and that she would drop him off for the play date for no more than3 hours and pick him up. This way, she would be on the same side of town rather than an hour away. Great, I feel great about all this.
So she sent me a message that she dropped him off at 10am and he was happy and all that.
Around 530 H told me he got a non-sensical text from her, something about someone offered to drive her to go pick up the kiddo and bring them both back to the reception. He told her no, absolutely not.
Hold the phone. She told me she wasn't going.
So I start freaking out and text her to check in. She does not respond until 7, saying she is just leaving the reception to get him. 2 hours and 3 more not responded to texts later, she has finally picked up my child.
I am seeing red at this point. H is also angry.
So today, SIL calls me after they got back in town and says that mil told her "oh yeah, I said I was t going to go but then I went anyways", or something to that effect. And thought it was no big deal.
Basically, she left my child for 10 hours in the care of people I would not leave him with for that long while she is on the other side of town. And thinks she's done nothing wrong.
I.am.done.with.her.
Re: Y'all.
TTC since June 2012
I am ragey for you.
After being home and let everything sink in for a few days, I wrote mil a consice, straightforward but not mean message regarding what happened. We decided that if we both sat down to speak with her, she would feel attacked. I have never made a confrontation with her before so figured she would take it more seriously coming from me.
Well. After I sent it, I get a message long text from her saying that she was choosing not to read it yet because she knew it would be an upsetting message and she refuses to upset her self over something unnecessary.
Well eff her. We decided that she will no longer be watching the kiddo. At all. She can come over to see him when one of is is home and that is all.
Wish me luck with this.
Good luck!
TTC since March 2012
BFP 3/14/13!!!
U/S 4/15: Identical twins!
Lost my angel boys at 10.5 weeks
My Chart***My TTC blog
She came over on Tuesday while I was at work to see the kiddo but H was here the whole time. She is avoiding the conversation and I'm assuming she thinks we will cave in and bring it up when we "need" her to babysit.
But we have found someone to stay with him on Monday afternoons, which is the only day we really do need someone bc of schedule conflicts. And there is always BIL's family for date nights. H even changed his availability at work so he will never have to go in before 6, allowing me enough time to get home before he leaves.
It is so refreshing to be free of the drama and anxiety of not knowing what I'll be walking into when I get home on the days she was here.