Baby: What you saved VS what you wish you had

lifeonthehill · August 2014

DH and I never seem to agree. I say 6 months of living expenses and 5k in start up money for a nursery and other items is plenty. Whatever is left from the 5k can help if we need to fall back on it while we get settled in to the SAHM routine. We have been looking at items and also discussing the fact that I will end up with two large baby showers for each side of my family. Even if nobody got us any large items 5k will more than cover it if we shop sales/buy used. This doesn't even include the 5k we will be saving for our ins. OOP (which likely wont be all used) and the fact that we will be debt free. He says it isn't enough but doesn't have a set amount he would like to save. We have 22 months to get it all together before we start TTC so we want to be as prepared as possible.

I told him I was going to ask what others saved v.s. what they wish they would have saved to try and get a better idea.

Any words of wisdom from parents, parents to be or people in the planning stages?

CuriousKiddosMama · August 2014

I don't remember exactly what we had saved- I'm thinking like 5k is what we had. I didn't spend hardly any of that on the nursery as we bought that stuff out of our monthly budget, and we saved everything else for out part of insurance. And that was a lot less than we thought (like 1 k) so we have the rest in savings for eventual baby #2.
Good luck! If you don't have debt, it doesn't hurt to save a ton and them use it for debt or something else later. If you do have a lot of debt though, you may want to stick with a set amount and then pay off your debt as much as possible over the next 2 years.
Good luck!!!

lifeonthehill · August 2014

vikingsfan711 said:

I don't remember exactly what we had saved- I'm thinking like 5k is what we had. I didn't spend hardly any of that on the nursery as we bought that stuff out of our monthly budget, and we saved everything else for out part of insurance. And that was a lot less than we thought (like 1 k) so we have the rest in savings for eventual baby #2. Good luck! If you don't have debt, it doesn't hurt to save a ton and them use it for debt or something else later. If you do have a lot of debt though, you may want to stick with a set amount and then pay off your debt as much as possible over the next 2 years. Good luck!!!

Unfortunately if H decides he needs more money that either means stopping college or pushing back TTC completely. Neither of which I am very willing to do.

We will be debt free in six months.

CuriousKiddosMama · August 2014

Maybe come to a compromise. We will start ttc when we have 5k set aside (your goal) and while we are trying we will keep saving until we have the x amount your dh wants. Would that work for him??? It may help him feel more ready if he thinks about it that way, that even once you are pregnant, you still have 9 months to save more.
Good luck! Just remind your dh that babies don't need a lot to come home to, and they can be as cheap as you need them to be. If he's concerned about what the labor and delivery will cost, he can get on your insurance website and probably get a pretty exact amount, so that may help ease his fears too.

CuriousKiddosMama · August 2014

Also, once you pay off your debt in 6 months, would you be able to start saving your income then? That may help him see that you can live off his pay, if that is part of the concern. And in the mean time you would save a ton.

vlagrl29 · August 2014

We kinda started to decide to TTC earlier than planned because I was on COBRA and only had it for another year and DH's insurance didn't have maternity coverage. Based on that we decided to go ahead and conceive earlier than planned so we wouldn't be left with tons of medical bills.

That said, we really didn't have much saved. during those 9 months of pregnancy we saved enough to cover our medical expenses for delivery and enough money to decorate the nursery and get all the last minute items we didn't get thru baby showers. All the big ticket items like furniture, stroller, car seat, etc. family members got for us.

We didn't have an emergency fund set up, but we didn't really have much debt either. It's probably not what most of you would do , but it worked for us. I've said it before but babies don't need much. 5k I would think should be enough. At a certain point you just realize it will never be the "right" time and you just need to do it.

blondie42107 · August 2014

We planned ahead but we didn't have specific numbers/goals. We had our family OOP amount planned for. We knew it would increase as soon as DS was born. Starting a family is partially as expensive as you want to make it. You have to plan for the unexpected.

If something happened, could you plan to be off of work and on bed rest as early as 8 weeks? I say that because my coworker was off for three weeks due to bleeding. She wasn't prepared for it and wasn't super excited about having to tell work about her pregnancy that early as well. My dear friend had to be on bed rest starting at 12 weeks for two of her pregnancies.

We purchased some things as we went. We didn't register for our crib and bought it when we found a great deal. We also snagged a pack and play for over 75% off from BRU online. It was great print and exactly what we wanted.

It sounds like you will be fine. Likely your H is just nervous about being prepared. Completely normal.

lifeonthehill · August 2014

blondie42107 said:

We planned ahead but we didn't have specific numbers/goals. We had our family OOP amount planned for. We knew it would increase as soon as DS was born. Starting a family is partially as expensive as you want to make it. You have to plan for the unexpected. If something happened, could you plan to be off of work and on bed rest as early as 8 weeks? I say that because my coworker was off for three weeks due to bleeding. She wasn't prepared for it and wasn't super excited about having to tell work about her pregnancy that early as well. My dear friend had to be on bed rest starting at 12 weeks for two of her pregnancies. We purchased some things as we went. We didn't register for our crib and bought it when we found a great deal. We also snagged a pack and play for over 75% off from BRU online. It was great print and exactly what we wanted. It sounds like you will be fine. Likely your H is just nervous about being prepared. Completely normal.

We very easily survive off of his income alone so bed rest wouldn't poke a huge hole in our plans.

I agree that H is getting nervous. It is still nearly 2 years out and we don't over discuss it but at the monthly budget meeting it always seems to come up. Some months he is fine with it and others he is in panic mode.

strickland8052 · August 2014

OP, I'm in the same exact boat as you! It is good to see that someone else is planning financially for TTC so early in advance!

We are planning on saving $10k (this is in addition to our 9 month emergency fund). I have looked into our insurance and my employer's maternity leave policy to get to that number. Worst case scenario, we need $5k for medical bills (that is our out of pocket maximum) and $2-3k for lost income. I plan on getting short term disability insurance prior to TTC, so that can help cover lost income. I'm also planning on trying to save up as much sick leave and annual leave as possible, so I can use that during maternity leave.

It sounds like you plan on being a SAHM, so I think that comes with its own special considerations. Will your husband's salary alone cover the cost of all living expenses? If you are not sure, maybe you should try putting every bit of your salary into savings to see if you can get by with out it. (Don't forget to factor in other benefits you'll be losing from your employer like health insurance and retirement.) If you are planning on SAH for a certain amount of time and can NOT get by solely on your husband's salary, I personally think you need to save what you need for that amount of time in addition to a 6 month emergency fund. Doing that will ensure you are covered even if you can't find another job when you are ready to go back to work.

Maybe I'm being too cautious though; I've never had a baby before so I really don't know.

FabulousMrs.P · August 2014

We had a 9 month emergency fund and $10k saved soley for baby purposes. We wanted to be able to afford all baby stuff (furniture, etc.), the salary I was missing, the insurance I had to pay for when I got back to work, all medical bills, and extra in case I ended up on bed rest or something. We ended up not needing that much as I got most of what I needed at the shower, but we wanted to be sure. What we had left over we just turned into a college fund. I was glad that we had that much though as there were a few expenses that popped up in the beginning that we hadn't planned on. We had to try several different formulas until we found one that agreed with her. There is nothing worse than spending all this money on formula just to find out it doesn't agree with your kid and you can't use it.

As others have said, can your husband's salary support your new budget that includes baby expenses? If not, then I would definitely save to cover the extra expenses? Ifs your health insurance affected by your being a SAHM? If so, check into the additional cost as babies go to the doctor often for wellness visits.

hoffse · August 2014

We're probably going to do $10K, but that will be on top of my HSA which will cover medical costs. That said, we shouldn't spend nearly that much. We are hoping to save that much just to have a nest egg to jump start a 529 for him/her.

brij2006 · August 2014

Warning: This may get long and I apologize.... Also a loss mentioned.

When we were in the planning stages for TTC we decided that we wanted $10k in savings on top of our 3 months E-fund we had. This was to cover the medical expenses, loss of my income, and any necessities we didn't get from showers. Once that was saved up, we started TTC. Fast forward about 1 year later and we had an infertility diagnosis (not covered by insurance), fertility treatment (not covered), monitoring (not covered), then a miscarriage and all of the medical expenses associated with that. After 1 year of TTC we were left with $3k in our baby fund and we both freaked out and stopped TTC because we knew we needed more money in order to get pregnant. Once we started the Dave Ramsey TMM we put that amount toward debt, and about 4 months later we were comfortable TTC again. We were very fortunate that I was able to make a drastic change in my diet that caused my infertility to subside and we got pregnant a few months later with only $1k in our emergency fund. Now we're almost 4 months into the pregnancy and have $8k in our "baby" fund. If things continue as planned we will have about $15-$20k in that account before baby is born.

We feel so much more comfortable now than we did last time we were pregnant. Even though we don't have a fully funded emergency fund this time around nor the $10k for expenses. I've been able to find some baby items on local exchanges for very reasonable prices, and we budget those purchases into our monthly budget during the pregnancy. We also have almost met the deductible on my insurance already, and we were able to just cash flow that in our monthly budget. Really, a baby only needs to be as expensive as you want it to be. We only buy things that we know we will absolutely need, and even then I try to buy it 2nd hand.

ETA: It helps that we have continued to live with our very strict budget as though we're trying to pay off debt, but instead it's being put into savings.

jlaOK · August 2014

We didn't have much when we had DS, maybe a few thousand in savings. We made enough for me to cash flow 4 weeks of unpaid leave and also to go part time after he was born. We started on Dave Ramsey's plan right after DS was born and became debt free while I was pregnant with DD so our financial picture changed majorly in those 3 years.

We probably spent less than 2k on baby items. You really don't need much.

Keeptruckin · August 2014

I don't think you will need 5k to set up a nursery. You can get the crib, dresser with change table top, car seat, stroller, baby carrier, high chair, play pen, tummy time mat, some clothes and a few toys for definitely under 2 k. I'm a SAHM and the best thing to do is start banking your earnings now and live on one income. Then you will see if you can do it. Diapers, wipes, and possibly formula may run you an extra 200/month. Babies are cheap, it's when they start preschool/activities that adds up!

Keeptruckin · August 2014

Sorry I forgot you are most likely American. So yeah, medical costs that are not covered you will need.

maple2 · August 2014

In terms of strictly baby supplies (i.e. not including savings for medical expenses and/or lost income) we spent just over $1,000 to start off. We didn't have a lot of income at that point so we went as cheap as possible. What you need to save will really depend on your wants and expectations. We spent most of that money on a crib, car seat, cloth diaper supplies and ergo baby carrier. Later I bought a mid-priced pump. We got some things as shower gifts, but mostly we did without (swing, wipe warmer, glider, etc) or bought used (stroller, dresser, clothes).

vlagrl29 · August 2014

yeah wipe warmer and floppy seats are really the kind of things you don't really need. They didn't have them when we were kids and we survived

mc0113 · August 2014

I plan on being a SAHM as well and we have just about 15 months of monthly expenses in savings, but would have been comfortable with at least 6 months.

Like other have said, buying all the baby stuff doesn't have to be expensive. Our first baby is due in December and we have purchased everything ourselves to prepare (and no baby shower). Our total has been just under $2000 for everything - Crib, Dresser, Car Seat+extra base, Stroller, Clothes, Ring Sling, Monitor, Swing, Bouncy Seat and some other random stuff. We'll also be cloth diapering so that was about $500 of that $2000 spent to build our stash that will last from newborn to potty training. It doesn't have to cost alot - especially if you shop sales and use coupons. Amazon mom offers 15% off registry items and Babies r us has a good completion discount as well.

hoffse · August 2014

Question for the moms on here - do you really buy into the whole "all car seats are equally safe" thing that gets thrown around the internet?

Honestly, I haven't ever been able to believe that, and I have trouble understanding it every time somebody mentions it on a forum. The Euro vs. American crash tests are different and Europe is significantly more stringent. I know that the crash test results aren't published (which is appalling), but to say that all seats are equally safe is like saying that a kid who scores a 100 on a test is as competent as a kid who scores a 70 since both passed.

H and I have tried to figure out what we should be looking to save for actual gear... and the car seat is probably going to be the most expensive thing we purchase by several hundred bucks because we want one with side-impact wings and a load leg. H actually suggested just importing a seat when the time comes to get exactly what we want. I'm just wondering what others have done in that respect. It seems like it's the single most important piece of baby gear you can buy. And yet, I read all the time, "Oh just get a cheap seat. They're just as safe." It seems to us like the laws of physics would suggest that some seats with extra features probably do disperse crash energy more effectively than the really cheap seats, assuming both the cheap seat and the swanky seat are installed correctly. Or are we being ridiculous to think that?

CuriousKiddosMama · August 2014

@hoffse I do kind of buy into every car seat is safe, although beyond researching the seat I liked I didn't research much. I think most of the time the problems are caused by user error (putting straps on wrong, washing straps, not checking for fraying after a while, etc). If you have mommy friends and are on Facebook, see if they ever post pics of their kid in the car seat. I never used to notice this type of thing, but a lot of the time the straps are on wrong, so the seat will not protect your kid.

vlagrl29 · August 2014

We had received a stroller that came with the baby bucket seat for a gift. We chose it and I believe it was Graco. Then when we forward faced DD we got another seat on CL (wasn't expired), that one was an Evenflo. Now she is using a high back booster that we bought new from amazon, it's a Graco. She will use that until she is done with boosters.

As long as the car seat is used correctly and not expired, I think any car seat is fine.

mana8503 · August 2014

Not a mom yet, but I just got done getting everything I think we need for baby to come next month. I had 2 big showers, and got enough clothes to last our baby girl a year. Seriously, SO MANY CLOTHES. Toys, rattles, teethers too. Oh and I think I won't be buying any bath gel or lotion for 3 years.

That said, I think we still only spend 2k for everything else. And that was with my splurge on a $500 glider. H got a huge sum of money last month from a payroll audit, this was my gift from that. It probably would have been a $100 rocker from Ikea otherwise. I did a lot of yard sales, consignment shops, and couponing (buy buy baby lets you use the 20% off from bed, bath and beyond). Furniture was from Ikea, and even with baskets and organzing stuff we only spend $500 (big items were crib, shelving, dress). I got 2 free changing tables from family.

My insurance covers L&D in full, I know we are very blessed to not have any hospital bills.

We have 10K in savings and will be able to keep adding to that after baby.

FabulousMrs.P · August 2014

For us, it wasn't the baby gear that was necessarily the expensive part. It was paying for health insurance while I was out on maternity leave, my loss of pay during that time, medical bills (we were pretty blessed with good insurance so that wasn't too bad), and those unexpected expenses (3 types of formula in one week until we got to one that she could tolerate, getting take out because we were both too exhausted to even turn the oven on).

The baby gear I had hand-me downs, garage sale bargains, and whatever I got at my shower. We just got the infant car seat to begin with (we got the chicco keyfit 30 which I HIGHLY recommend for an infant carrier...easy to install, great safety ratings). I do believe that PROPER installation is key...you would be surprised how many people do not have their car seats installed properly. You can see if your local hospital or police station does car seat checks to make sure they are properly installed.

cbee817 · August 2014

@hoffse - we have 2 britax (we purchased) in DH's car and 2 evenflo (given to us by DH's parents) in my car. I pretty much refuse to drive my girls in my car unless it's an emergency or very short distances (like their pediatrician).. the car seats are so crazy different. I highly recommend britax for the main family car- the weight limit is 65lbs so we're getting our $ worth. DH worked the stock room at BRU in high school and surprisingly knew a ton about car seats and installation- we had them checked too and the guy said it was spot on.

wesleycrusher · August 2014

@hoffse The key safety features to look for in a car seat is 1. that you can get a good install in your car and 2. the ability to rear face until a child is 4 years old, or as close to that as is possible. If money is not a concern, one of the most highly recommended is the clek foonf which runs around $400, but there are many good car seats for less money- graco and radian, for example, and they usually fit better in smaller cars. It is illegal to use a car seat from another country in the US, although I doubt it would be something that you'd be ticketed for but something to keep in mind.

Beyond extended rear-facing, I am unsure of what other safety features you think seats in other countries have that the US doesn't? Countries in Europe all have different rules for car seat usage.

Wulfgar · September 2014

We actually went a little into debt with our DS. This time with raises and promotions we are in better shape and have more money saved.

As far as car seats go, what my family found to work is that anyone who will be regularly driving the LO around has their own car seat. This means for us buying ones that work but are not the really expensive ones. Another thing to be careful of with child seats, it is usually a weight or age not both since child seats are an engineered product and if your LO weighs more than the position that you have it in then the LO could get injured worse. The biggest reason for car seats for children over 4 now days is because of the shoulder belts that require people to be a certain size to use versus the lap belts that I grew up with.

Also, as far as cord blood storage, it might be nice for the first child, but it is really expensive. It cost us around $1200 initially with $250 a year for 18 years.

hoffse · September 2014

wesleycrusher said:

@hoffse The key safety features to look for in a car seat is 1. that you can get a good install in your car and 2. the ability to rear face until a child is 4 years old, or as close to that as is possible. If money is not a concern, one of the most highly recommended is the clek foonf which runs around $400, but there are many good car seats for less money- graco and radian, for example, and they usually fit better in smaller cars. It is illegal to use a car seat from another country in the US, although I doubt it would be something that you'd be ticketed for but something to keep in mind.

Beyond extended rear-facing, I am unsure of what other safety features you think seats in other countries have that the US doesn't? Countries in Europe all have different rules for car seat usage.

I'm looking at load legs, side impact wings, etc. My understanding is Euro crash tests are more stringent - I'm sure plenty of US carseats would pass those tests, but they are not tested to the same degree to know. I think the US only tests frontal impact, whereas Europe tests back impact and rotation too. Also, I think most Euro countries require a third anchorage point to the car for bases - not just 2 like US LATCH technology (which is where the load leg comes in). I don't know a ton about it because we don't have kids, but my understanding is the UN issued certain testing and safety recommendations back in the 90's, which most of Europe adopted but which the US did not.

I'm sure most carseats are safe, and I certainly agree that most injuries are due to misuse, poor fit, poor installation, etc. But the standards ARE different, and the car seat is where I would spend my money first. It's incredibly frustrating that they don't publish the test results other than pass/fail - because it's just not possible that they are all equally safe and perform equally well when tested side by side.

Xstatic3333 · September 2014

hoffse said:

wesleycrusher said:

@hoffse The key safety features to look for in a car seat is 1. that you can get a good install in your car and 2. the ability to rear face until a child is 4 years old, or as close to that as is possible. If money is not a concern, one of the most highly recommended is the clek foonf which runs around $400, but there are many good car seats for less money- graco and radian, for example, and they usually fit better in smaller cars. It is illegal to use a car seat from another country in the US, although I doubt it would be something that you'd be ticketed for but something to keep in mind.

Beyond extended rear-facing, I am unsure of what other safety features you think seats in other countries have that the US doesn't? Countries in Europe all have different rules for car seat usage.

I'm looking at load legs, side impact wings, etc. My understanding is Euro crash tests are more stringent - I'm sure plenty of US carseats would pass those tests, but they are not tested to the same degree to know. I think the US only tests frontal impact, whereas Europe tests back impact and rotation too. Also, I think most Euro countries require a third anchorage point to the car for bases - not just 2 like US LATCH technology (which is where the load leg comes in). I don't know a ton about it because we don't have kids, but my understanding is the UN issued certain testing and safety recommendations back in the 90's, which most of Europe adopted but which the US did not.

I'm sure most carseats are safe, and I certainly agree that most injuries are due to misuse, poor fit, poor installation, etc. But the standards ARE different, and the car seat is where I would spend my money first. It's incredibly frustrating that they don't publish the test results other than pass/fail - because it's just not possible that they are all equally safe and perform equally well when tested side by side.

Stuck In the Box:

I know you're super thorough so you've probably looked into this, but is there any independent agency (Consumer Reports?) that does side-by-side comparison tests? I feel like there's gotta be. I'd check CR but my paid subscription just ran out and I don't have a real need to renew it right now.

Xstatic3333 · September 2014

I looked into it a little further. CR does do their own tests, and presumably describes the results in detail, but you need the paid version to get the breakdown. They do still do frontal crash tests only, but at higher speeds than the government-mandated test and with a few other tweaks.

hoffse · September 2014

Xstatic3333 said:

I looked into it a little further. CR does do their own tests, and presumably describes the results in detail, but you need the paid version to get the breakdown. They do still do frontal crash tests only, but at higher speeds than the government-mandated test and with a few other tweaks.

Yeah, but apparently CR has actually retracted their tests in the past because they were messed up. I use them a lot for other things, but this is one thing where I'm sort of skeptical.

Xstatic3333 · September 2014

hoffse said:

Xstatic3333 said:

I looked into it a little further. CR does do their own tests, and presumably describes the results in detail, but you need the paid version to get the breakdown. They do still do frontal crash tests only, but at higher speeds than the government-mandated test and with a few other tweaks.

Yeah, but apparently CR has actually retracted their tests in the past because they were messed up. I use them a lot for other things, but this is one thing where I'm sort of skeptical.

That's too bad, good to know though!

Baby: What you saved VS what you wish you had

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