Family Matters
SlurpeeLove
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I'm too old for this, but I may have gotten into a fist fight
We went on a family cruise for my dad's 50th birthday this past weekend. My stepsister has always been pretty flirtatious with my, now, husband. I never said anything because I figured it's just a phase and I was flirtatious with my sister's husband when I was her age too (she's 18 now). Once we got onto the cruise, everything got progressively worse. She was digging for his attention and had to come with us everywhere. I continued to grit my teeth and ignore it because I didn't think it was too big of an issue.
Then she showed up to our stateroom wearing a robe. I asked if she was wearing anything underneath because it was open pretty low to her chest bone and she said yes. My husband was in our room and so I pulled her robe open a bit and she said "Oh, I'm not wearing a shirt". I told her to go back to her room and once she's wearing clothes, she can come hang out, but not before. She fought me a bit on it, but finally went back to her room and got dressed.
Then, at 11:30 at night, DH and I got into the Jacuzzi and she decided to join us. It was fine until she untied her top... I just looked at her and said "what are you doing?" And she says "It's making me uncomfortable." And I said "Yeah, but now I'm uncomfortable" and she tell me that it's fine, it won't fall. I didn't know what to do, so I didn't push the issue.
Then she waited until I left DH alone with her and the rest of my family while I went up with my nephew to ride a water slide. When I came back, DH told me that SS asked him if she looked good in her bikini, only him. She said "NAME, do I look good in this?" Still, I said nothing to her. DH knew I was getting pissed about this, but I was trying to keep the peace because the cruise was only 4 days long.
I'm not a violent person. When I was younger, 17ish, I would get into fist fights with my sister, but that was the last time. Now, I'm 25 and feel like I'm too old for this. So, this is how the fight started. We were playing UNO, me, her, my nephew, my sister, and DH. Well, my nephew (not my step sister's child) started having a meltdown (he's 4) because he was losing and my stepsister turned and started cursing at him. I don't know when it happened, but I just went into a blind rage and was started yelling at her, and then I punched her, and she punched me, and we kept on like that for a couple of minutes until we both just stopped and yelled at the other to stop.
It was stupid, and I feel super embarrassed about it. I just snapped. I love my sister's kids as if they were my own, and I would definitely take someone down for them, but wow. Seriously, blind rage. After it was over and I went to my room to relax a bit, I felt so embarrassed and I know why it happened, but I haven't been that angry in such a long time.
So there's my story of how I turned into the crazy person who starts fist fights on cruises.
Re: I'm too old for this, but I may have gotten into a fist fight
I don't understand why you OR your DH haven't ever, ever said something to your SS in order to get her to back off. Seriously- if you had - you might not have ended up in a blind rage.
"sis- this is inappropriate". Or your DH could say "You're making me uncomfortable". or... a million other comments in a million other situations.
I'm kind of flabbergasted that this seriously led to a FIST FIGHT. "too old"? Good gawd. I honestly don't know anyone - ANYONE - who has every gotten into a fist fight no matter how pissed off they were.
You know what your SS is like - you could have found a better way, KNOWING you'd be in a somewhat contained environment with her, to deal with her.
I don't know if cruise ships have bouncers, but you should have found out from somebody in authority on that cruise how that person could have somehow kept your SS at bay so that there'd be no more problems.
Oi, a punching match....I don't know what is going to happen once you get off that ship but I am sure there will be some sort of court date invloved.
My advice:
Cut your SS off and never speak to her again. End of story. She seems to be looking for trouble and quite frnankly, your H should have told her to cut it out when SS started the "flirting."
You couldn't bring yourself to SAY something to her, but you could bring yourself to HIT her? And you say you aren't a violent person?
Honestly- I think you need to do some soul searching here. You're actually contradicting yourself. You ARE a violent person. You may not lash out often. It may have been years. BUT instead of TALKING to her, using calm rational words, your reaction is to HIT her.
That makes you a violent person.
I"m not saying this to flame you. I'm saying this to make you THINK. To really think about yourself and how you handle stress.
And for as wrong as your SS is on many levels, for the fact that you attacked her, YOU owe her an apology. Not a "I'm sorry I hit you, but I did it because of ____ (then putting it back on her).". NO, you need to say "I"m sorry I hit you. That was wrong of me and I apologize.". PERIOD.
"Don't marry a man unless you would be PROUD to have a son exactly like him." ~ Unknown