Relationships
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I have a friend who has changed for the worse since she got engaged to a rich man.
She constantly brags about what she pays for things as well as what her fiance buys her: "My wedding dress cost 15,000! My engagement ring cost 23,000! People give me funny looks when I talk about these things...they are just jealous! We can afford a luxury wedding." I think this is rude and shows how insecure she really is. I have nice things as well but I would never talk about what I paid for these items, nor would I share the cost of a gift that my husband bought me. I just think such behavior is very obnoxious.
Her attitude wouldn't bother me so much if she didn't also make rude comments about our apartment building, the city we live in and where I work. I feel like she suddenly looks down my husband and I because she is marrying into money. When she was living in a basement apartment by herself and working as a cook, she was far more down to earth. My husband cannot stand this woman because he says that she seems like a gold digger.
I find this situation interesting because I have several loved ones who are more affluent than my husband and I. However, they do not feel the need to make snide remarks about where I live or what I do for a living. They also do not brag; I dislike anyone who brags for any reason. Nobody would ever guess how much money my loved ones have because they don't talk about it and they aren't rude to those who have less than them.
Has anyone else ever dealt with someone who became rich and turned into a jerk? How did you handle it?
Re: Money Changed Her..
I personally don't find the talking about money and how much things cost as offensive...as long as it is her own monies she is talking about and not asking intrusive questions about other people's money choices/purchases.
Though I have to admit I am kind of guilty of that and need to watch it so I don't make other people uncomfortable. Although my "bragging" is on the other side of the coin. I am a perpetual deal hunter and love to talk about when I've scored a good one, lol. For example, I recently bought a $400 Coach purse on sale for $124. I've had a number of people compliment it and I'm always tempted to blurt out, "Thanks! I got it on sale for only $124. Can you believe that?" But, of course, that would be an "off" thing to say so I just leave it at the "Thanks!"
HOWEVER, what would be very off-putting about your friend and her FI is they sound like very judgy people about other people's finances. Not to mention, at least the FI earned his station in life (still doesn't make it okay to judge others)...but what has your friend done to have the finer things in life? Um...is about to marry a rich guy. Wow, that's an accomplishment to be proud of (sarcasm).
Last but not least...one of my favorite pearls of wisdom:
"Marry for money and you will pay dearly."
And so does Be nice to the same people you saw on the way up, because they are the same people you will see on the way down.
She is obviously very insecure and probably not entirely comfortable with hew new situation- but she has no right to be condescending or talk down to you!