Thoughts on announcing intent to adopt (AR, obvs)

poppies717 · September 2014

We are thinking about posting something on FB at some point about our plans. When, if at all, should we?

lindsayandjamie · September 2014

If it were me, and I was ready to announce, it wouldn't be before the homestudy was complete and we were active... And from there I probably wouldn't say much until we had a baby in our arms and rights were terminated. That is just me, but I don't think there is a right or wrong approach.

brij2006 · September 2014

I would post something about the next part of our journey to become parents is moving forward with adoption, or to some point of that. Just so it is out there that this is what we're doing and hopefully it would weed out the questions of when you're going to have kids, etc.

You have every right to announce the exciting news of your decisions to become parents. No matter what step you're at in that process.

islandmonkey8 · September 2014

While I really wanted to click "Don't announce at all. Keep everyone in the dark until 5 years old and post a first day of school pic" (really college graduation) - I agree with brij. I would be too excited to not want to share. Also, I'd want to stop any "where your kids at yo?!" questions.

RockABye · September 2014

I would probably be annoyed with all the questions that would inevitably come, so I'd probably wait until it was 110% sure, meaning baby in my arms and after parental rights termination. That said, I have friends who have kept everyone on FB in the loop about their adoption process and I love reading the updates so I definitely wouldn't judge anyone posting at any point in the process! So.. go with what you're most comfortable with

LooneyLife · September 2014

I think it really depends on what you're comfortable with and how much "feedback" you can handle.

I'm a pretty private (and superstitious) person and personally wouldn't feel comfortable posting before at least a match was made. However, there's nothing wrong with sharing sooner and I wouldn't side eye you for it. It's all a matter of your comfort level in sharing.

Sewilson33 · September 2014

I am a pretty private person so I probably wouldn't post anything until we were either matched or I was holding our baby. I wouldn't want anyone knowing about our adoption process other than our close family and friends until it was guaranteed.

That is just me and my privacy issues. But, I definitely agree with PP's do what you and DH and most comfortable with. No matter what you will find supportive people at either point in your adoption journey.

seahorse01 · September 2014

We aren't planning on saying anything until after parental rights are terminated because I don't want to field a bunch of questions/people sharing their personal views.

Apollo11235 · September 2014

I don't know what I would do, but my feeling is that I would talk about it IRL with those I am close with/encounter in daily life, but wait to announce on FB until parental rights are terminated.

nfp147 · September 2014

It really depends on what you are excited about posting and how much you want people to know. I would love to see a friend's progress, but would also completely understand if they didn't want to share on FB.

poppies717 · September 2014

I am hesitant to wait until match to post. If it falls through and BM decides to parent, we'd have to explain. I think I've been honest about feeling like everything about becoming a parent has been taken away, and I think we deserve an announcement like any couple who is pregnant. I wanted to do it now, but DH wants to wait until we go active. I opened up during NIAW, so I feel comfortable enough sharing our plans, I just wanted perspective regarding when. Thanks! I think DH wins this one (as most agree with him!)

nic77du · September 2014

If it were me, I'd announce either now or when you go active in the agency. But I wouldn't say anything about a match, once made, until parental rights were terminated and the baby was home with you. But whatever feels right for you and your DH is the way to go.

All the best!

cinderin · September 2014

I don't know your personal situation regarding what you are looking for in a match, but I have heard of people finding a match because they are open/public about the fact that they are looking for a match.

It's possible a friend of a friend's cousin's neighbor's niece is a expectant mom who is looking to place. Who knows?

JMO but I would go public after you are approved just in case your son or daughter's birth mom might hear about it.

nfp147 · September 2014

cinderin said:

I don't know your personal situation regarding what you are looking for in a match, but I have heard of people finding a match because they are open/public about the fact that they are looking for a match. It's possible a friend of a friend's cousin's neighbor's niece is a expectant mom who is looking to place. Who knows? JMO but I would go public after you are approved just in case your son or daughter's birth mom might hear about it.

This is a good point. I lady I used to work with found her first adopted child because a friend's sister was a doctor and had a patient looking for parents for her baby.

brij2006 · September 2014

nfp147 said:

cinderin said:

I don't know your personal situation regarding what you are looking for in a match, but I have heard of people finding a match because they are open/public about the fact that they are looking for a match. It's possible a friend of a friend's cousin's neighbor's niece is a expectant mom who is looking to place. Who knows? JMO but I would go public after you are approved just in case your son or daughter's birth mom might hear about it.

This is a good point. I lady I used to work with found her first adopted child because a friend's sister was a doctor and had a patient looking for parents for her baby.

Agree with all of this. My aunt is an ER doctor and she had told us that if we ever were to choose to adopt, to make it known. The ER she works in can actually recommend parents when a woman comes in and delivers a baby and doesn't want to keep it.

So the more people who know, the better your chances could be at finding a match.

Thoughts on announcing intent to adopt (AR, obvs)

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