Money Matters
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In over my head.

Hi Ladies,

I am looking for advice. DH and I have recently gotten behind on most of our bills due to health issues and loss of some income.  I'm trying to get myself back on track, everything seems to be covered on paper but then during the month it just doesn't work out. Something is always late, or missed, or has to be skipped and I'm snowballing.  Please tell me what you need to know to help me.  I'll lay it all out! I've never been this behind in my life and it's really bothering me.

Anniversary
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Re: In over my head.

  • Hi, and I'm sorry you're having a hard time!  Helpful info would be your take home salaries monthly, your monthly bills (with balances and interest rates for debt), and a rough idea of your other monthly expenses.  Hopefully we can get you some helpful suggestions to make things easier!  The one I'll start with is to start writing down every penny you spend.  This will help you figure out where you are "leaking" funds, and give you a good starting point for a written budget.  
  • Ditto the track ALL spending - then also look at infrequent expenses that occur thru the year as well.
    Do to cash only - no credit card use - you cannot spend what you do not have. (some like the envelope method)
    Read Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover - lots of basic tips for getting out of debt
    Hang in there - you can do this?

    Have anything you can sell that you no longer need/use?  Can you get second PT jobs (seasonal, waitress, babysitting, etc) and apply that to your debt?

    Consider these changes:
    Cut non essential spending - new clothes (wear last years items), cell phones - talk only unless more is required by work, personal care - haircuts only - no color or extras, look at eliminating cable, internet or reduce coverage, examine insurance policies and look at possible changes to reduce premium, take your lunch to work - no eating out, meal plan around weekly specials at the grocery store, entertainment - invite friends over for a movie /game/pot luck night rather than $$ on the town. etc  Christmas - keep it very simple and low cost. How much you spend is not indicative of how you fee about someone.

    Examine every expense and if you NEED it - then see if you can get it for less - on sale/clearance/ used/borrow it
  • Sisugal said:
    Ditto the track ALL spending - then also look at infrequent expenses that occur thru the year as well.
    Do to cash only - no credit card use - you cannot spend what you do not have. (some like the envelope method)
    Read Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover - lots of basic tips for getting out of debt
    Hang in there - you can do this?

    Have anything you can sell that you no longer need/use?  Can you get second PT jobs (seasonal, waitress, babysitting, etc) and apply that to your debt?

    Consider these changes:
    Cut non essential spending - new clothes (wear last years items), cell phones - talk only unless more is required by work, personal care - haircuts only - no color or extras, look at eliminating cable, internet or reduce coverage, examine insurance policies and look at possible changes to reduce premium, take your lunch to work - no eating out, meal plan around weekly specials at the grocery store, entertainment - invite friends over for a movie /game/pot luck night rather than $$ on the town. etc  Christmas - keep it very simple and low cost. How much you spend is not indicative of how you fee about someone.

    Examine every expense and if you NEED it - then see if you can get it for less - on sale/clearance/ used/borrow it
    now is a great time to find PT seasonal work.  my H works for FedEx and they hire Tons of PT package handlers for the x-mas season...most days they're done with work by 8 or 9am
    Me: 28 H: 30
    Married 07/14/2012
    TTC #1 January 2015
    BFP! 3/27/15 Baby Girl!! EDD:12/7/2015
  • Gdaisy09 said:
    Sisugal said:
    Ditto the track ALL spending - then also look at infrequent expenses that occur thru the year as well.
    Do to cash only - no credit card use - you cannot spend what you do not have. (some like the envelope method)
    Read Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover - lots of basic tips for getting out of debt
    Hang in there - you can do this?

    Have anything you can sell that you no longer need/use?  Can you get second PT jobs (seasonal, waitress, babysitting, etc) and apply that to your debt?

    Consider these changes:
    Cut non essential spending - new clothes (wear last years items), cell phones - talk only unless more is required by work, personal care - haircuts only - no color or extras, look at eliminating cable, internet or reduce coverage, examine insurance policies and look at possible changes to reduce premium, take your lunch to work - no eating out, meal plan around weekly specials at the grocery store, entertainment - invite friends over for a movie /game/pot luck night rather than $$ on the town. etc  Christmas - keep it very simple and low cost. How much you spend is not indicative of how you fee about someone.

    Examine every expense and if you NEED it - then see if you can get it for less - on sale/clearance/ used/borrow it
    now is a great time to find PT seasonal work.  my H works for FedEx and they hire Tons of PT package handlers for the x-mas season...most days they're done with work by 8 or 9am
    I just picked up a second job as a cashier at a grocery store (that was my high school/college job back in the day-very simple) and my first check was $130 for working about 16 hours or so and it felt nice to get that extra check! I plan on keeping the job probably about 1 year or less so for the long cold winter it will keep me busy so we can  meet our financial goals next year. I literally got hired on the spot so I don't think you'll have a hard time finding something else. I work full time, so my shifts are weekends (anytime) and weekdays (6-10PM). I'm driven to get where we want to be so I don't mind not having much personal time anymore.
  • If you haven't done so already, any medical bills you have left, call and make payment arrangments on those. Medical offices don't charge interest & as long as you stick to the payment arrangements agreed to, they won't turn you over to a collection agency either. This may give you a little breathing room.

    My other recommendation is for your utilities, if you aren't already, see if you can get yourself put onto a budget program. They average out your annual use to determine your monthly bills. I love it because I know exactley how much to expect each month and don't have to worry about the high gas bills in the winter because I've basically gotten ahead in the summer paying the same amount when the usage was lower.

    Another recommendation is to shop around for insurance, not just auto but home/renters too. We did that this past year and between changing auto & home, we're saving $500.00 a year, that's huge.

    The above items are great ways to make your financial life easier, even once you are back on track.

  • So sorry it took me so long to respond! My DD came home from daycare with a weird rash and I thought it was measles, luckily just an allergic reaction to antibiotics but I was all consumed with Google and pedi calls.

    I'll be honest, I budget it but I do not track it. I could probably go through my bank statements and see what I messed up on tonight. I do have a mint account but have fallen behind on updating it, I need to get back on there. 

    I recently had an outside company compare all my insurances and found that I already have the lowest rates I could get. I have one payment plan with a credit card company for 60 months at 3%, and have two I need to see if I can work something out with to catch up. We currently are not contributing to a 401k but will start again once we catch up.

    I have cancelled cable, lowered cell phones as much as I could, no landline. Right now we are trying a no spend week where we only eat whats in the fridge/freezer/pantry. I really am trying it's just not enough. The only company that will do a same amount payment through the year is the power company but I believe they want to install their own system where they control the temps and my H does not want to do that, I need to call and check if there is a work around though, I'm just taking his word for it.

    Here is my list of bills/income: Pest control is actually only every 3 months but I have it listed anyway, blue is income, red is debt. My H's check varies but that was last months. I also have a second job subbing for $90 a day but have only been called once, I use anything from that job toward debt.

    Mortgage 2-$34.89
    Daycare-$178.00
    Dani Check$460.00
    Chris Phone-$60.00
    Chris Check$732.50
    Dani Credit Card-$91.00
    Progressive-$200.88
    Hulu-$7.99
    Preventive Pest-$69.00
    Water$36.88
    Dani Check$460.00
    Capital One-$130.00
    BofA card-$89.00
    Dollar Shave Club-$9.00
    Monitronics-$44.99
    Mortgage 1-$1,110.38
    Daycare-$178.00
    Dani Phone-$60.00
    HOA-$60.00
    Dani Check$460.00
    Car Payment-$399.38
    Chris Check$726.83
    Netflix-$7.99
    Cox-$53.99
    Jared (min. $130)-$130.00
    Gas-$30.00
    Dani Check$460.00
    Primerica Life Insurance-$51.31
    Power-$24.40
    Dani Check$460.00
    Republic Services

    Anniversary
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Also this weekend we are going through all our junk for selling/cosigning. We have not done this yet but have already but time aside to get it going this weekend

    Anniversary
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Any details on the car payment?
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
  • als1982als1982 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited October 2014
    You have cable, Netflix and Hulu? Get rid of two, or better yet, all three!

    ETA: you pay $70 a month for pest control?!
    HeartlandHustle | Personal Finance and Betterment Blog  
  • Pest control is every 3 months but I just keep it in there so I know it's coming, We have netflix and hulu, it's labelled cable but that is for internet.

    Car payment is 8% for 5 years (not ideal but we need it to get to various jobs etc)

    Anniversary
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Honestly we haven't bought clothes in a long time, and due to budget we do not eat out or have dates unless family offers to pay or DH gets a bonus (which is rare) Groceries I did forget, I'm actually not sure what is spent because DH has been going because I have been sick but I think a lot of the money is lost there. I need to track it and see and start meal planning again. I'm finally getting back on my feet from being sick so I can get back into freezer meals.

    Anniversary
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Dani_Love said:
    Pest control is every 3 months but I just keep it in there so I know it's coming, We have netflix and hulu, it's labelled cable but that is for internet.

    Car payment is 8% for 5 years (not ideal but we need it to get to various jobs etc)
    Is the pest control necessary?  That seems like a big expense.  

    And I'd try and get the internet lowered, that seems high.  And definitely get rid of one of the streaming tv services.  There is no need for one, let alone two.

    And do you have any equity in the car(s)?  That rate is crazy high.  If you aren't underwater, I'd sell it and buy a cheap car in cash.
    HeartlandHustle | Personal Finance and Betterment Blog  
  • I'm not sure if there is equity, how do I find out? We get scorpions but I could see if there is something we can buy ourselves and use instead.

    Anniversary
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Also for selling items is it worth is to cosign at the kids resell, just go straight to the store, or sell on online garage sale sites?

    Anniversary
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • The amount owed, minus the value you determine from KellyBlueBook.com.  If you come out with a positive number, you've got equity!  
    HeartlandHustle | Personal Finance and Betterment Blog  
  • Awesome! Let me look!!

    Anniversary
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Very close but no equity

    Anniversary
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Dani_Love said:

    Pest control is every 3 months but I just keep it in there so I know it's coming, We have netflix and hulu, it's labelled cable but that is for internet.


    Car payment is 8% for 5 years (not ideal but we need it to get to various jobs etc)
    Maybe sell your car and buy something cheaper? Or look at refinancing.

    My car loan is at 2.99% with a monthly payment of $200.
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
  • My credit isn't very good at the moment. I could try a refinance. Do you have closing costs with that? 

    Anniversary
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Scorpions! Eek! I'm sure it's probably common if you're in the SW but that's pretty scary to this New Englander. I won't tell you to cancel that, but I will recommend shopping around and getting some additional estimates.

    I'd also start meal planning and send your H with a strict list. I hate to generalize, but when mine shops unguided it's truly amazing the stuff he comes up with (lobster! $8 olives!)

    Definitely try to refinance the car! That should be an easy one. Depending on how old/healthy you are, it's also possible you could do better on life insurance.

    Find a budget system that works for you-sounds like Mint isn't it. I just use an Excel spreadsheet, and some use pen and paper or Google docs. Just pick something you can really stick to.

    Your internet cost would be good for my area, but definitely shop around and threaten to leave if multiple companies service your area.

    I think your best course of action is to buckle down, track every penny, and start a debt snowball. You have a lot of little payments, so the faster you can free up cash flow the better off you'll be.
  • Thank you! I'm in a desert so we have all kinds of creepy crawlies but scorpions are the biggest problem!

    He does get a list haha I just have to buckle down and go instead of him. He always tells me this was on sale or we love these etc. I usually plan where one meal lasts us 2 to 3 days and his are one nighters which is part of the problem.

    My credit score is 658 so maybe a refinance is possible. I'm so lost when it comes to those things. I'm 27 very healthy I just have hyperemisis gravidarum during pregnancy and am currently pregnant but it's not something that they ask about.  

    There is one other company that offers internet in my area I will definitely compare rates.

    I will also start tracking everything again, it's just the last few months that I have been ill that everything is falling apart but I really really want to get out of the red and back on track! I paid off one credit card recently and hid it in my closet so we can't use it!

    Anniversary
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Also any advice on talking down interest rates? I would like to try to negotiate without the cards being closed down (happened with my current payment deal) But the rates are high I was thinking a balance transfer OR interest rate reduction could help

    Anniversary
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Is your insurance for 2 vehicles?  is there anyway to raise the deductibles?  Do you have a lot of points on your licenses?

    We live in the tri-state area (very high traffic, very high cost of living) and for 2 vehicles we only pay about $150/month.

    Is there anyway to commute to work with someone else and save gas costs?

    Anyway you could just cut cable/internet, netflix and hulu for a few months?  6 months of internet for you is $300, that's a huge chunk.  You could borrow movies from the library to watch on DVD.  Or at least look for a lower internet provider cost and ditch hulu or netflix.  

    Anyway to get rid of smartphones or change cell companies?  DH, my mom and I are on a plan we only pay $111/month for all 3 of us with regular flip phones.

    the other thing I do that makes it easier on our budget is i pay part of everything weekly.

    Like your mortgage, I would save $300/week for the mortgage and pay it once a month versus, taking it out of the paycheck that week etc.  This way your spending is more balanced every week.  This helps me anticipate costs and I don't have to track my spending near at tightly because I spend the same thing every week.  Instead of one week having $100 left versus $400.  

    Also, what is going to happen with daycare when your second child goes?  at $178/week times 2, it may not be affordable for you to work full time at $460/week.  Usually infants cost a lot more than older children too. 

    For us, cash spending is much easier.  HIDE all the credit cards and debit cards.  There is no reason to need one right now, literally.  Once you are out of cash, you are out of cash.


    I will love you for you, not for what you have done or for what you will become
  • The insurance is for two vehicles, I didn't think about raising the deductible. It's $500 now, what is a reasonable deductible to have? We never have a huge chunk in savings. (working on that after debt is paid)

    We live too far to carpool to our jobs, both places have less than 10 employees and are scattered.

    Cutting them out is definitely doable except internet as H works from home occasionally but the others are, it's less than $20 saved though for something we enjoy and use. I am going to compare rates with another internet company and see if I can work something out for lower payment.

    Cell phones were paid outright with tax money 3 years ago.  DH was talking about going down to a 30 dollar plan and using Google Hangouts/Talk to make any phone calls and if that worked well we would both switch. I need to ask him to try that!

    The weekly budget is an amazing idea! I wish I thought of that a long time ago! I will implement this with our next checks. Do you just keep it in savings until the bill is ready or withdraw it? We do auto pay for some items like insurance for the discount.

    When DS is born I can bring him to work with me two days a week until about 18 months of age, the other days both LO's will be with family.  DH is constantly applying for new jobs and we are hoping one sticks before the 18 month daycare deadline otherwise I have no idea what we are going to do as we cannot survive on one income.

    I was looking into the envelope system but wasn't sure how it worked with the auto withdraws for some bills I'm still researching the best way for us to do cash only




    Anniversary
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I guess the savings bit doesn't matter because they would take it out of the money they give us lol had a dumb moment

    Anniversary
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Re. the auto insurance, I've always had a $1000 deductible. In my state if you're not considered at fault, the other person's insurance will pay the difference.

    For cell phones if you want to get creative look into Republic Wireless. My H won't consider it (no iPhones) but it's supposed to be the cheapest possible way to have a smart phone.

    I actually wouldn't drop Hulu and Netflix; you need something for fun and it wouldn't make a huge difference. If you already have a computer, you could use that for Netflix and watch Hulu on the tv.
  • We have the Nexus 4 from Google unlocked, I will mention Republic Wireless to DH he is really into tech stuff and companies so I'm on something called Red Pocket and he's at AT&T. I will see what their rates are! Thank you :) 

    I will also call tomorrow about the deductible, or can you do that online? I will log in and see!

    I am really excited, thank you all for all this advice I really appreciate it and am taking chances on everything you say!

    Anniversary
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • A basic rule of thumb for the future:
    When buying a car, finance NO LONGER than THREE years.  If you need to go longer to afford the payment, then you are buying too much car for your budget.
    I saw an ad the other day for a car loan 84 months!  That is 7 years.  People - just because you can do something does not make it a good or right choice to do it.

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