Relationships
LongDistanceDave
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Her Crazy Mother
ok, so my girlfriend and I have been dating for a while now, secretly, since her mother and my parents would not approve of the fact we met online. But, recently her mother discovered the texts and pictures we've shared. I now have no sure way to contact her, is there anything I can do to help get through this, because we will eventually reestablish contact.
Re: Her Crazy Mother
They are simply wrong. And not healthy.
A dime says you never met her in person.
You could have been "talking" to anyone from a little ole man in Peoria to some bored housewife. The photos she sent you can be of anyone.
If the pictures were of you and her together, another story.
I'm pretty sure that you never met her --- you do not allude to having her home address, or a landline or an email addy or a cell phone number.
What I strongly suggest:
Find something to do where you can actually meet a nice young woman IN PERSON FIRST --- and then from there, ask her out.
Never "date" anybody you have never met in person
Ever heard of catfishing?
One of those things happened locally to us. For some reason I can't copy and paste the link here; if you google "Rutherford man behind catfishing scheme pleads guilty" you'll find the whole article. It's quite an eyeful. That guy will be going to jail for a long time.
Stay away from girls you never met in person; find one that's for real and up close and personal and then ask her out. You never know who is behind that "photo" or message.
We don't know what else is involved here. If it was nudes and sexting or something very compromising, bad news. If these were just ordinary everyday photos where every stitch of clothing was left on, another story.
Let's go for Option #2: everyday photos that were innocent ones.
The ship has not only sailed --- it has sunk, also.
Why do you want to waste your time on an endeavor that's now over?
Find yourself another girlfriend and as I suggested, one where you actually met her the old fashioned way: up front and in person.
And limit your computer time. "Look up" as that viral video goes.
However - the fact that you're dating in secret should tell you that you're going about it in an unhealthy way, and likely not mature enough to handle a real relationship yet.
Had you done this with your parent's approval, and made arrangements through them for you all to meet, and get to know each other in person, it would be an entirely different discussion. Instead, two children (not yet adults) who are dependent on their parents (I'm just guessing that since her mother controls her modes of communication, that she still lives with her mom, and is not yet independent) went behind their parents back to do something in secret.
Her mother is not being over-bearing. Her mother is rightfully protecting her teenage daughter. The sad truth is, that predators, rapists, murderers, pedophiles....they all have the ability to meet someone online, and lure them into a trap. Being only 17 yourself doesn't mean that you're not capable of harming another 17 year old (and the same goes for her - being a 17 year old girl doesn't mean she's not capable of harming you).
Like I said - meeting online isn't the big "red flag" here. The "red flag" is the fact that it was done in secret, between minors, behind the backs of their parents. At this point, the suggestion is to wait. Be patient. While you're still a kid, learn how to make the kind of decision that you don't have to hide from others (like your parents) to avoid judgement.
Once you're living on your own, you can be more careless with your social life....of course, our hope is that you're not careless....our hope is that as you gain Independence, you also gain maturity and a desire to make wise and responsible decisions! Until you're on your own, however, you have to follow your parent's rules, and she has to follow hers.
Have you told your parents yet about your relationship? Your maturity is much more important than your age, and until you're ready to be honest and truthful about what you're doing, you're probably not ready to be in any sort of relationship anyway.