Why did this bother me?

Re: Why did this bother me?

• GilliC member

  

  October 2014

  runner76 said:

  I

  i dk maybe I am overly sensitive but this made me think and kinda hurt. We were talking to my 8 year old. MH is her step father.. she is having a hard time with her dad dating.. (she is daddys little girl) so mh said daddy could never love her the way he loves you.. he said have you ever heard of unconditional love?  that is different with a child. He said that with a child it is unconditional love..  idk why this bothered me but should you not love your partner unconditionally as well??

  It would be nice, but I don't think it's all that realistic. When it comes to children, you usually have a biological feeling of responsibility, which can lead to forgiveness and protection. A partner is generally considered an equal. It's a lot easier to undermine love when your trust is broken by someone on the same level.

  
  

  If your partner was physically or mentally abusive, stole your life savings, or cheated on you repetitively, you're probably less likely to forgive him than you would a child that behaves in the same way. There is a biological imperative to propagate your genetic code, but once your partner has contributed to that effort, there's no reason to suffer through all that.

  

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• TarponMonoxide member

  

  October 2014

  runner76 said:

  I

  i dk maybe I am overly sensitive but this made me think and kinda hurt. We were talking to my 8 year old. MH is her step father.. she is having a hard time with her dad dating.. (she is daddys little girl) so mh said daddy could never love her the way he loves you.. he said have you ever heard of unconditional love?  that is different with a child. He said that with a child it is unconditional love..  idk why this bothered me but should you not love your partner unconditionally as well??

  This all has to do with Freudian development.
  
  How long has he been dating the woman?
  
  He's got a child. By rights he needs to take his time --- for an 8 year old, I suggest he wait a good year before he introduces his girlfriend to his daughter --- and even then, take it slowly and in small doses.
  

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• Keana and Camerro member

  

  October 2014

  I think you should count your blessings your husband gave some good advice. Remember not all relationships last even if it's a marriage but the love you have for your child is forever. And i agree with one of the replies, your daughter's dad should really take heed to when he introduces his daughter to someone he's with. When it's safe to introduce someone to her should be an agreement made between you and him for e.g 'he must be dating the person for atleast 6 months in a committed relationship'.

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• Knottie48010755 member

  

  November 2014

  It is different. One is innocent unconditional love the other is romantic unconditional love and honestly, I don't think spousal love is unconditional. It takes work. 

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• KarenCanada member

  

  December 2014

  Children - for sure - are afforded unconditonal love from the moment they're ours. Partners have conditional love, no matter which way you slice it. The love for a child sees massive wrongs forgiven. Partners often don't fare as well.

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