BNOTB
dutchgirl76
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Intro
in BNOTB
Hi everyone,
I wanted to give a quick intro. I've been a lurker for a long time so I figured I'd finally join. It's nice to see there are people out there not afraid to not have children. I'm in my early 30's and set on not having children. My husband is more than 5 years older than me and doesn't want children either, in fact when we first started dated he was quite clear it wasn't a choice with him. Unfortunately he comes from a big family who have very strong opinions about only being happy and successful when you've had children. We both enjoy traveling, working career jobs and we love our 2 cats very much.
One question, how do you deal with comments that can make your blood boil? I get a lot of "oh that makes it easy to not want to have kids because your husband doesn't want them" or "you'd want them more if DH wanted them" I know I have to let it go, but I'm a grown woman, I wouldn't marry a man who didn't want kids if I really wanted them. Just makes me think wow I'm glad you don't think I can think for myself. I'm probably over thinking it but it gets old.
Anyway happy to be here and thanks for all the great advice you give!
Re: Intro
Welcome! I'm also in my early 30's and DH is turning 40 in February. We do not want kids. At all.
A lot of the comments I get I just shrug off because quite frankly I don't care what other excuses people have to come up with to make it easier for them to understand my choices. But if I'm feeling particularly snarky I can be pretty blunt about letting people know that I have zero desire for children and why. Of course that usually results in people saying, "wow you really don't like kids huh?" which is not true because I love my little cousins and my friends' kids, but seriously you just can't win with people who think having a baby is your only purpose for being on this earth.
I usually try to shirk off people's comments because its not worth getting myself stressed about it but i know how sometimes this is extremely difficult. I usually go with the " i have no desire to have children" comment as well. And like the pp- i get the same response, oh you really don't like kids. I like kids, they are cute but i don't want to keep one.
We enjoy our life the way it is now and have no desire to add to it. People just cant accept that fact.