Relationships
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Re: .
train wreck
It's great that your friend involved you in her pregnancy, however, not every woman feels the need to include anyone other than the father, or maybe close family members. Some women choose to be more private with their pregnancy progress, especially if they're in a position where they know they may be judged by others. It's possible that the people who knew about your sister-in-laws' progress, are people who saw them regularly, openly gave them support, and continually asked about their progress. None of which, did you attempt to do.
When they did reach out to you to participate in the shower, you chose not to. Baby showers are the type of thing that people attend even when they haven't been involved in the day-to-day updates and progress of the pregnancy. Especially family members.
I'm not going to try to pin down who did what wrong at what point in time, because I'm sure that all of the situations are far more complex than what we realize. However, I will say that these women are your family. You do not have to be friends with them, but it would be nice if you supported them as a family member. I think it would be appropriate for you to apologize for missing the baby shower. You don't have to go back to being their best friends, but you do need to continue being their sister-in-law.
Let them know that you would have enjoyed being there for them during their pregnancy (if that's the truth - based on some of what you said, it didn't really seem like it). Forgive them for hurting your feelings for not making you feel included in their pregnancies (because I don't believe that's a requirement), and move on. Find a new balance to your family relationship.
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk
To give some sort of clearity and not for any justification I would need from strangers, let me just say my younger sister made this post without my knowledge. She was trying to help get other opinions, I guess! I would also like to say that I have read the above comments and some "advice" was reasonable but some were irrelevant. This post missed alot of information all of which I will not be giving, but some major things I would like to say is that I was the only person who didn't rough out my SIL's when they found out that they were pregnant. I am going through my own struggles and it's because of my miscarriage and some things I found out after that happened but this did not hinder the fact that I wanted to be there for them. Prior to this incident I was the go to person in the family I watch my niece without hesitation, wash her clothes from time to time and much more. This is how close we are as family but trust me I forgive alot and I don't receive half as much as what I give. So no i'm not a psyco contridicting mean person playing victim. From the day before the shower I fell ill and my husband told them this the day that some of my in laws basically called a meeting and disrespected me and my marriage calling me names and so forth just because neither did I or my bestfriend (who was close with them but is not anymore) did not attend the shower and my friend choose to be with me instead. The things that were said is the reason I decided to seperate myself from them. I'm not saying I will never talk to them again this just means we won't be as close as we was. The youngest and I were bestfriends but we grew apart a long time ago, therefore I made it clear that our friendship could no longer be but I'll forever be her sister in law. I've never disrespected my in laws but there hidden agenda is that they are furious that I have such a close relationship with my bestfriend and her family and I spend alot of time with them. My in laws are real controlling and disrespectful that's the problem i'm having.
That's exactly whats happening. But prior to this incident I was around them and I have said numerous times I cant wait for them to come. I have mentioned my feelings here concerning my miscarriage but i don't speak with them about it. To be honest I highly doubt that they know excatly how i'm feeling inside with regards to that. But I am very active in my niece's life and thats my SIL's daughter so I no it will be the same for whoever comes next. I'm just really tired of having to be the one to put aside my feelings, make a mends and still continue to get disrespected. I love them so much we were closer then in laws we were some what as close as blood relatives but the disrepect is untolerable. Being upset because i'm friends with a certain person and your relationship with them is not as close as it was is petty, if that's the case. (And its crystal clear that a huge problem for them)
They said some very rude, disrespectful, hateful, and hurtful things about me, my husband and our marriage.
It is a word that should not have the prefix of DIS- added to it. Or anything added to it at all.
It is a blatant murder of the Queen's English.