Family Matters
bnewcomb64
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Holiday Conflict Advice?
So fighting about who's family to visit over christmas is a common topic, and I was just wanting someone to weigh in on my situation.
My boyfriend and I have been together for four years, and are waiting until after we graduate college and get good jobs before we take the next step.
My entire family and both his parents live in the same town, so it seemed only natural that we stay there for christmas. It would be easy and simple to split up the time between our families, have time to ourselves, see friends since we are all away at college, etc.
My boyfriends father travels to Colorado every Christmas, this is a 18-24 hour drive in winter conditions. My boyfriend is really close to his dad and naturally wants to spend the holiday with him. So the last several Christmas's we spend christmas at home, and leave a couple days after to spend New Years with his Colorado family,and we usually celebrate second christmas. This year my boyfriend is really adamant about spending the entire christmas break in Colorado. While I love his family in Colorado and always enjoy my time there, and am happy to spend New Years there, but I don't understand why we need to spend the entire christmas season there.
In my opinion we both get more of what we want when we stay in town, his immediate family is there and my family is there. I think that spending time with our immediate family is more important that spending time with extended family over the holiday. I like to think that if the tables were turned I would also understand this point of view. In addition, since we are away at college these holidays are the only time we get to be home.
Am I being selfish here? What do you suggest? What has worked for you with these sticky situations?
Re: Holiday Conflict Advice?
I think spending ONE Christmas out of four w/ his dad isn't asking too much on your boyfriends part. I can't fault him for that.
However, the ENTIRE break w/ NO time in your hometown? I think your boyfriend is being unfair on that note. If he wants to flip flop - Christmas w/his dad then NY at home, that's fair.
I'll say this too, though - YOU don't have to go for the entire time if you dont' want. Let him go and spend the entire break. Maybe spend Christmas w/ your family then go to his dads. Or vice versa.
But realize that if you're in this for the long haul, you've got to figure out a system that works for both of you. Again, on Christmas out of four w/ his dad isn't unfair.