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TarponMonoxide
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Do I have to worry about protecting myself physically??
Long story short:
I own a house with a sibling. He didn't hold up his end of the bargain to pay his half of taxes and other shared house-related costs; I sued him and the house is going to be sold as per me.
This morning I saw him and told him that he and I need to start collaborating regarding the realtor and so forth.
And here is what I got:
"You can go $*($ yourself. DIE. Just DIE; die a slow and painful death. Let it be worse than Ebola."
I said to him, "No need for the rancor; all of this is your fault; and Ebloa, eh? Why do I need Ebola? I have YOU" and with that he got into his car and rocketed on out of here.
Do I have to protect myself physically? I have a dog -- what's this mean? I need to get a bigger dog as a just in case he gets physically out of hand???
He has agreed to sell the house as per his attorney -- this battle for me has gone on now for over 14 months and I've just about had it. I have a ton of other problems and troubles that I can't go into on this board.
He agreed to sell so what's his problem? Oh sure, he's going to be mad that he has to sell -- yu don't think I'm not angry about all of this? Do you think I wanted to sue a sibling??? --- so why is he making it tougher for himself??? Sooner or later, he is going to have to comply and do the smart thing and act like an adult. I guess he is going to do this the hard way.
What a mess.
I own a house with a sibling. He didn't hold up his end of the bargain to pay his half of taxes and other shared house-related costs; I sued him and the house is going to be sold as per me.
This morning I saw him and told him that he and I need to start collaborating regarding the realtor and so forth.
And here is what I got:
"You can go $*($ yourself. DIE. Just DIE; die a slow and painful death. Let it be worse than Ebola."
I said to him, "No need for the rancor; all of this is your fault; and Ebloa, eh? Why do I need Ebola? I have YOU" and with that he got into his car and rocketed on out of here.
Do I have to protect myself physically? I have a dog -- what's this mean? I need to get a bigger dog as a just in case he gets physically out of hand???
He has agreed to sell the house as per his attorney -- this battle for me has gone on now for over 14 months and I've just about had it. I have a ton of other problems and troubles that I can't go into on this board.
He agreed to sell so what's his problem? Oh sure, he's going to be mad that he has to sell -- yu don't think I'm not angry about all of this? Do you think I wanted to sue a sibling??? --- so why is he making it tougher for himself??? Sooner or later, he is going to have to comply and do the smart thing and act like an adult. I guess he is going to do this the hard way.
What a mess.
Re: Do I have to worry about protecting myself physically??
The only talk he gets now is related to the house.
He hasn't been nice to you in the past with this situation. He has been verbally abusive to you in the past. If he hasn't made any attempts to physically harm to this point like pulling his arm back like he is about to punch you or has actually put his hands on you, I probably wouldn't worry. He may just be happy with rattling you verbally. Now if he has made physical attempts at you then you need to avoid him when possible. If you want to speak with him directly to avoid the lawyers fees, then I would communicate with him via email & keep all copies of communication. Keep things professional like "I'm in the process of obtaining a realtor to the house on the market, do you have anyone you know that you would like to use? If not I'll go ahead and find a realtor and I will let you know who that is once it's been decided."
Then let the realtor know the basic background of the situation and ask they contact your brother directly to notify him of open houses and showings. If your brother gives the realtor a hard time about showing his part of the home then you will need to contact his attorney and let go "your client isn't allowing the realtor to show the home to potential buyers which means he is going against the agreement, you need to talk to him."
Your brother may never forgive you for what happened. Yes, he brought this on by not paying his taxes, but because you refused to cover his butt & pay them & then eventually sued him his world (in his eyes) is falling apart because now he has to come up with a different living situation which means he has to grow up. You didn't do anything wrong, but that's not how he will see it. And until he does see that this was all brought on by his actions, he will probably continue to be mad at you and mean to you.
Stop talking to this loser once and for all!
You have lawyers - USE THEM. You allow the verbal abuse every time you speak with him.
Distance yourself, immediately. Cut off all contact unless it directly relates to the house, and in that case, do it through, or in the presence of an attorney or another 3rd party.
And I agree with you :-). Take the advice that you normally give. I think everyone can agree that your brother is being unreasonable. Don't try to argue with him, and don't try to understand his twisted mind. It is not your responsibility to take care of him. Just do your business (and not with him personally - he has shown that he is not capable of being rational). Just out of curiosity, since you have to move when you sell the house, have you already moved out, or are you two still living within the same proximity? If you haven't already, and if you have the financial means to do so, move now.
It seems like the threat he gave is more of an angry intimidation tactic, but if you fear that he may ever want to act out on it, report it. It wasn't technically an "i'm going to kill you" death threat, so there may not be a lot that they can do, but it's better to be safe than sorry if you really are worried.
Since he already agreed to sell the house, stop waiting around for him to collaborate with you. Get the ball rolling yourself, and do it now. Talk to a real estate agent about your specific situation. It's possible that they will recommend a mediator to communicate between the two of you (because you should no longer communicate with him in person, alone, ever). Or the real estate agent in combination with your lawyers may be able to handle both of you at the same time - you won't know until you ask.
The real estate agent and your lawyers can help you work out the details of how to proceed. The real estate agent will be able to figure out how much to list the house for. Once you have a potential buyer, you will probably sign the initial offer/counter, and then he'll have a chance to sign it or amend it as he sees necessary (with help from his lawyers/the real estate agent, I'm sure), etc. I'm guessing that you'll both have to sign papers at closing. That does not have to be done with you two in the same room. When my husband and I bought our house, the 2 sellers were in two separate states. All of their signatures were either faxed/mailed/electronic to get both of them to sign the same documents.
It will work out - just stop waiting for him to be civil. I think his lawyer telling you that he's willing to sell is the best you're going to get. Take that little sliver of an opening, and run like crazy towards the finish line. The faster you're done with the house, the faster you can move on with your life. I know you still have hopes that your brother will have a change of heart and apologize for his misbehavior, but I think it's time to accept that IF that ever happens, it won't be until all of the financial and legal disputes are far, far behind you.