Husband doesn't help around house!!

Re: Husband doesn't help around house!!

• musictchr25 member

  

  November 2014

  Well, if you really want him to learn to help, you need to stop thinking that he's going to because he wants to. No one ever wants to clean up or help around the house, but it's a fact that it needs to be done. Stop cleaning up after his messes, and get him to take care of it. If you stop doing everything for him, I think he'll start to realize that you do a lot around the house and that he needs to step up to help out more so that you have less on your plate. If you have to, make him do things, even if it means you have to set some ground rules. A marriage is a compromise - one person cannot be doing everything by themselves. You can let him know that you don't like having to boss him around and tell him to do things, but that you just need help.

  
  

  Tell him honestly how you feel about bringing a baby into the situation when you already feel like some things aren't getting done. That's the only thing you can do right now - be honest and truthful.

  Amanda @ Rhody Life
  DIY & Home Decor Blog
  
  
  
  

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• simplyelise member

  

  November 2014

  Positive reinforcement can't hurt. Anytime he does actually do something around the house, tell him how much you appreciate it and how it shows you that he cares. And maybe what he needs sometimes is for you to sit down on the couch with him for a couple hours of quality time and then ask if he'll help you fold the clothes.

  
  

  I'd also be inclined to sit down and say that you don't want to become a nagging wife, but it's hard not to slip into that when you see so many things that need to be done. Ask him if he would take on one specific job like always filling the dishwasher and then putting the dishes away or cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming each sunday. I've experienced many roommates in my time who aren't purposefully avoiding picking things up, they just don't even see it. Hard to deal with as a type A!

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• Erikan73 member

  

  November 2014

  I've started sending my husband daily "we need to get this done today" lists. I keep it simple to 3-4 small things each day. Things like, bedroom & living need to be vacuum & we need to wash darks. Because he often gets home before I do, something those things will be done before I even get home. Since he is the one that cooks, I clean up the kitchen & dishes after dinner. I got my husband to realize that if he helps me around the house with some of the chorse, we have more time to do fun stuff or even just relax and watch a show together. But if I didn't had the daily lists, he wouldn't do anything and I have a hard time verbally saying "can you do....". Our daily email lists are the perfect compromise of me saying what I need help with and him then doing it.

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• MommyLiberty5013 member

  

  November 2014

  Set a cleaning schedule for the week or for every 2 weeks. Ask him what chores he wants to make his own and then decide which ones you should have. I would be firm on not having a child until he can do more with cleaning. It will only get harder with 3 of you.

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• NikkiJ22 member

  

  November 2014

  I have this EXACT same problem right now! My husband wants to have a baby and the housework is already overwhelming for me I cant even imagine what it will be like once a baby is in the mix. I told (broke down) about my feelings the other night and he seems to be helping out a little more but I think its always going to be a work in progress. Once we get down a system I think it will help, we have only been married a little over a month so we are still working on how to settle everything in. But, I can tell you I felt a world or relief after I told him how I was feeling and we had an open discussion about it. Now I feel like I'm not completely bearing the burden on my own. I haven't quite figured this all out myself but hopefully that helped!

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