Holiday Traditions

formerlyGDaisy09 · December 2014

This year my family is in a sort-of transition state, so many long-time Christmas traditions are going out the window. My grandmother and grandfather (dad's mom and mom's dad) both live alone, so much of the holiday planning has focused around them. usually I go to my parents for Christmas, however H has to work Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas, so it's not very practical for him to make the 3 hour trip to my parents. This year my parents are encouraging me to stay home with H.

usually they come up here for a party at my aunt's house the 26th or 27th, however that's not happening this year. how many of you have started new traditions with just you and your SO? what do you do?

I'm feeling a little sad things are going to be so different this year.

brij2006 · December 2014

Our family had this happen a couple of years ago with Easter, as we bad big transitions within the family.

What we did was started something of our own where everyone was invited to our house. We have quite a few people there for it, but everyone has a place to go and it has now become a tradition.

We still have yet to celebrate a Christmas with just the 2 of us. We have family over or are at someones house from Christmas even dinner until late Christmas night.

jessica490 · December 2014

Aww, that's sad You guys will figure it out I'm sure.

When H and I started living together before we got married, we just kept going to my families house on the holidays and would see his family on the closest weekend to the holiday. Yhey live 40 minutes away and his mom participates in all the church activities so that always threw a wrench into the holidays anyway so to this day we still follow the same thing...spending the holidays themselves with my family and squeezing his in around the holiday and this works for us. Our condo is too small to entertain both families, but maybe once we buy a house next year we can start hosting everyone (even though I hate it because our families are SO different), but we'll see.

hoffse · December 2014

We haven't done this yet, but we're going to next year. It's probably selfish, but we decided to do Thanksgiving with his family and Christmas with mine our first year of marraige, then reverse it our second year, and then be done. People aren't that far away (3 hrs-ish), but it's an ordeal for us to leave for that long, and our families tend to do better with shorter visits. We also work more than anybody else, and we've decided that they can come to us if they want to, rather than us going to them. My practice in particular tends to really pick up during the 4th quarter, and we all guard our Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks pretty closely. My feeling is that if I'm going to really travel, I would rather go to the beach or hop a plane to some place tropical for a few days with just my H, rather than spend 4 days with extended family, potentially dealing with family drama.

If nobody comes to us next year, I think we will just spend the time relaxing. Maybe cook a really nice dinner and rent or buy a movie we've been wanting to watch. If I get a bonus this year (unlikely since it's my first year at this firm, but you never know....) we might pick an island we haven't visited and go there for Thanksgiving. There's a lot of the caribbean and Mexico that we haven't visited, and many of those places are within a 3 hr flight for us.

blondie42107 · December 2014

We stay home on Christmas Day. We have kids and it's truly amazing not to be rushed and stressed about travel. We wish we would have done it sooner. We aren't against people coming to us.

formerlyGDaisy09 · December 2014

I don't think anyone will be convinced to come to us. grandma lives 10 minutes from my parents and my grandfather is taking the train to their house. my parents don't like sleeping at our house (we're saving for a new mattress so that won't be the case). H's parents live in Alabama (we're in New England).

A getaway is a nice idea for another year...I bet Montreal and Quebec City are beautiful for Christmas. however, as of a week ago Christmas was going to be up here at my grandfather's....so we didn't budget for travel.

I'm liking the idea of cooking a nice meal together, watching some movies, and maybe a nice walk with the dog....compared to other years that have been full of family it just doesn't seem as festive

KatieCutie05 · December 2014

We have been doing christmas just the two of us for the past 4 or 5 years. We live 500 miles away and have yet to travel or have anyone come to us during christmas time. Honestly I prefer it. Its different yes, but so much less hectic. It doesn't always "feel" like christmas but thats okay. We are making our own traditions.

We usually go to church on Christmas eve. We do stockings for each other and the dogs. Our dogs love christmas and they totally understand it as the day where they get spoiled rotten. We just watch christmas movies, space out our present opening so christmas doesn't feel like its over in the first 5 minutes. make a nice breakfast and a big dinner, call family, and just relax.

This year will be even simpler for us because I really don't have the time or the energy to decorate for christmas or do a bunch of christmas shopping. We're not even getting a tree this year. But a day of watching movies and eating a bunch of good food is something i always look forward to. lol

strickland8052 · December 2014

H and I have never actually done it, but I've always wanted to get something yummy from Starbucks and drive all around the city to look at Christmas lights while listening to Christmas music. My dad and I did this growing up and it was so much fun. We'd make a game out of it to pick out the best (and tackiest) Christmas decorations.

strickland8052 · December 2014

Oh! And I also think it would be fun to volunteer at a soup kitchen or host dinner for people (maybe even strangers) that don't have anywhere else to go. I went to college in an Army base town, and I know a lot of people would host dinner for soldiers who couldn't go home for the holidays.

brij2006 · December 2014

strickland8052 said:

H and I have never actually done it, but I've always wanted to get something yummy from Starbucks and drive all around the city to look at Christmas lights while listening to Christmas music. My dad and I did this growing up and it was so much fun. We'd make a game out of it to pick out the best (and tackiest) Christmas decorations.

This idea sounds amazing!

uncreatedsnow · December 2014

I travel home to my parents' house for Christmas. We do Christmas Morning there with my sister and her family then we all go up to my grandmother's(about an hour drive) for extended family and dinner.

On Christmas Eve a good friend from HS and I go to Midnight Mass, over the years different friends have joined us. They do Christmas Carols for an hour or so beforehand and we try to make a night of it. Last year we went to her church's Candlelight Christmas Eve service first and that was really great so we are planning to do both with Hot Cocoa and Cookies in between this year. My family isn't "into" church anymore and Midnight Mass is my favorite...this also gives me a much needed break from any family drama that might be going on at the moment.

Wulfgar · December 2014

Since I have seriously dated MW I have been going to her grandfather's for Christmas Eve which gets rid of one of my favorite traditions of making baked potatoes and Swiss cheese for Christmas Eve. Christmas day we usually go to her parent's house and a lot of times my parents will come up for a few hours also.

This year we will just play it by ear depending on when LO#2 arrives. She is due Christmas day.

Xstatic3333 · December 2014

I struggled with what you are going through on Thanksgiving. My parents, who usually host a really small get together just for H and I, decided not bother and invited us to Chinese food on the following Saturday instead. We went to H's mom's, who cooks a lovely meal but it is very different from my Thanksgiving tradition. The family is big on "middle school dance" style socializing where the women hang out in one room and the men watch football in the other. This is a bummer for a girl who loves football and hanging out with her husband.

Anyway, I'd suggest putting forth effort to do the Christmasy things you love, even with just the two of you. Decorate, make eggnog, play Christmas carols, make a gingerbread house, etc. It's easy to let it slip without a big family relying on you, but you can start some great new traditions.

As for us, we still do the "visit four different houses" Christmas, but I'm very open about the fact that once we have kids that is done. I loved my Christmases at home growing up, and want the same for my children. I'm glad to host, and our families are pretty flexible so I don't anticipate it being a drama.

vlagrl29 · December 2014

I understand totally. This time of year I always think of how our family use to celebrate the holidays pre-DH. My grandpa, uncle, and aunt have all passed away within the last 7 years and it's been that long since we would all go to my grandma and grandpa's house on xmas eve and have dinner and open gifts. It makes me sad how those things are gone now, but I really appreciate what I have now.

We do xmas at DH's moms house usually the weekend before xmas. We do xmas eve at my parents house and we only do xmas day at our house - just the 3 of us. I love that we don't have to go anywhere that day and just relax although I usually go in panic mode with all the toys and end up organizing and cleaning for part of the day. DH's father and his wife usually come in town in the later part of December to our house.

Dh's bday is on December 8th and we celebrate that as a family. Our dog Gabby has a bday on December 18th and we take her downtown to the dog bakery on that day. We also drive around town with hot coco in our cups looking at xmas decorations.

abrewer5 · December 2014

I personally would love one year where my H and I would actually get to see each other on Christmas and not have to run to a million houses. I think at one point I hit 8 houses on Christmas day because my parents and H's parents are divorced and remarried, so there is always a lot of running to do. Now we just don't see eachother on Christmas because H goes to his family's and I go to mine.

I really love strickland's idea of hosting a family for Christmas dinner or volunteering on Christmas. This could be a great tradition for you to start that would pay it forward to others in your community. If that's not of interest to you I'm sure there are animal shelters in your area that need volunteers on Christmas to feed/walk the animals. And of course a nice Christmas morning breakfast and Christmas dinner, watching Christmas movies, and hanging out could be a lot fun.

als1982 · December 2014

I've been going through the holiday transition for about the last decade. Growing up, I had tons of aunts, uncles and cousins that would get together over Thanksgiving and Christmas, which was an amazing experience!, but now that's dwindled down. H and I don't have children yet, and we're likely the only hope either set of parents have for grandchildren, so our future gatherings will likely be small, which makes me a little sad.

At this point, we still struggle with (i.e. fight about) where to spend Christmas day. In the future, I hope to make it a day where we stay home, but grandparents come to us. At this point, we don't buy each other gifts or have any holiday traditions of our own besides a big breakfast Christmas morning.

Erikan73 · December 2014

My family celebrates on Christmas Eve and we celebrate a week early with in-laws. So we started the tradition of sleeping in Christmas Day (we don't have kids), then we put on our christmas theme flannel pants & a comfy shirt & head down to the living room. Hubby makes a fire in the fire place & we make breakfast, then we exchange presents & then spend the day laying around watching old christmas movies.

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