Buying A Home
NoneForUs
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Leaving the city...
My husband and I live in a large city with exorbitant real estate prices. We could never afford a home here because they start at $500,000. While we can afford a condo, my husband and I are not interested in spending $350,000+ for such a small space.
I feel terrible about my husband's long commute. He has to drive an hour each way. When the traffic or weather is bad, it can take my husband over two hours to get home. We are also tired of living in apartments.
Like so many other young couples, we will have to move to a suburb in order to be able to afford a home. My husband would also like to be closer to work. He is the main breadwinner even though I am also employed, so being close to my husband's job takes precedence over mine. It would also be easy for me to find work in the town that my husband's workplace is in.
The only issue I have is I am such a city girl. I am very attached to the city we live in because there are so many memories here. I was born in this city and this is also where I learned to be an independent adult. I left my sexist parents' home to go live by my own rules. Even though I lived in crappy rooms or tiny apartments, I still have fond memories of all that I learned about myself. I love the excitement of living in a big city that I know like the back of my hand. I feel like leaving the city would signal a new phase in my life but I am not sure how to feel about such a big change.
Nevertheless, I am no longer a young single woman in her twenties. I can't just think of myself and what works for me because I am married. My husband needs to be closer to work so it makes complete sense to leave the city. I am just scared that I will be bored and sad away from all my friends and my beloved city. I can easily take public transit if I want to visit my city. It is just isn't the same as living where all the action is.
If you lived in a city before you bought property in the suburbs, how did you make the adjustment to quieter surroundings?
Re: Leaving the city...
If you're truly a city girl at heart, I would not recommend moving to a super-quiet suburb. Look for a community with some action that also meets many of your H's needs. We found our options opened way up when we stopped limiting ourselves to communities with highly-ranked schools. I don't put much stock in test scores, but when the time comes if our neighborhood school doesn't meet our needs there are affordable private options we can utilize.
I think what you've shared makes a lot of sense for many people.
It really comes down to a needs versus wants situation, though. Basically, you NEED to move, but you WANT to stay put. I wrestle with this issue in other things in life too - like, what I want to do versus what I ought to do.
In the long run, I think you will be happier as your adult life progresses making the decision that best supports your husband's physical and mental health (long commutes are taxing in many ways). Also, think of the money you'd save.
That money put into a proper mutual fund could earn you a nice chunk of change.
Memories are memories. You have photos saved and images in your head and heart for those. And, anybody with a car, GPS and some Internet can get to the neatest and most fun places and restaurants regardless of where they live.
Just curious, which large city are you near?
Memories you take with you.