GTKY: TTC Story (PR/LR) Long and depressing.

Flamingo86 · December 2014

The basics are in my siggy, but I'll elaborate a bit here:

We started TTC in July 2012. We had been married nearly 3 years, felt like we were financially stable, and it just seemed like the right time. I had been charting/temping for a few months so I knew that I had regular cycles and was ovulating regularly, which made me hopeful that the journey would be short and sweet.

We went on vacation and I got pregnant the first month TTC. It was so cliché. We were surprised it happened so quickly but were very happy. Things seemed to be going well. I had super crappy morning sickness, was tired all the time, had no bleeding or cramping, and it seemed like a very normal and healthy pregnancy.

I went in for my first u/s at 11 weeks. I was so excited. DH got called to a work thing at the last minute so I was alone, which I was bummed about but it didn't seem like a big deal. As soon as the Dr. looked at the screen I knew something was wrong. I sobbed. She told me that baby had stopped growing at about 8 weeks and had no HB. My H came home immediately. I went for a d&c a few days later. I spent the next few months eating crap and being horribly depressed.

We started TTC again after a couple cycles. I became pregnant over Christmas 2012. This time my Dr. did betas. My numbers were low, but initially they doubled so I wasn't too worried. They stopped rising however and I started having pain on one side so I was immediately brought in for an u/s as my OB was worried about an ectopic. I was 6w and all she found was a sac. I m/c naturally a few days later.

Two months later I became pregnant again. My first beta came back at 14 and I had a chemical pregnancy.

At this point we were referred to an RE and started testing. I also started acupuncture. Tests revealed that I might have some clotting issues but were mostly normal.

Once again, in August 2013 after a few months TTC again I got pregnant. My beta came back extremely low at 6. Another chemical pregnancy.

At this point we decided to stop TTC. We had always wanted to adopt and decided we were eventually going to pursue adoption. We started saving money like crazy and I got an IUD. Unfortunately I started having issues with the IUD and had it removed in May. We bought a house, were pretty happy in life, and starting to put the losses behind us.

In early November we had a little too much to drink and were careless about birth control. On November 20th we reached our savings goal for adoption. On November 21st I had a BFP. The first words out of my mouth were "oh shit."

I contacted my RE immediately and was brought in for betas. They looked good, which gave us hope. I was put on lovenox (blood thinner) injections, extra folic acid, and progesterone. Things seemed to be going well. On Wednesday December 17th I went for my first u/s and found out baby was measuring 2 weeks behind and has no hb. We knew it could happen but are still very sad. I haven't showered in 2 days. I will go in for a d&c on Monday or Tuesday.

We were tentatively planning to start the adoption process in spring of next year and are still sticking to it. I am excited to be a mother some day no matter how it comes to be, but we will always grieve our angel babies.

islandmonkey8 · December 2014

My heart aches for you. But I know you will be the most amazing mother, no matter how you get your baby.

simsk3887 · December 2014

I'm so sorry for your losses. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

FutureMrsWright2012 · December 2014

Oh Flamingo, I'm so sorry for all you and your H have been through. Like Island said though, I'm sure you guys will be great parents one day no matter how you get your perfect little one. Thank you for sharing your journey, and creepy internet hugs to you.