Relationships
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
What does a man mean by we are on different pages
I was dating a man I was crazy about for two plus years. What would happen is we had the best dates with him taking me out and the sex was the best I ever had. We laughed and talked and it was wonderful for me. But then he would not contact me after the date. We would go out and then I would not hear anything for weeks sometimes! He and I even went away. One week he would want to see me three times and then another week I would hear nothing from him. When I tried to contact him he always responded immediately back. He told me he was just busy with his family (he was a single parent to several young children). I was OK with that. He said he was just seeing me.
I fell for him. I was sad when he never asked me out on a holiday or for Valentine's Day. He would see me the day before.
I was asked out by a new man and started seeing him telling the man that I meet someone new. Then the new guy broke up with me in a few weeks.
I miss the man I was seeing for so long. I texted him that I missed him and he said to me he and I were on "two different pages" What does that mean?
I am looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, monogamy, some type of consistency, at least a warm text during the week, and some holidays together. He said he was "not looking for an emotional attachment"
I always wondered if he had another woman. He lived with family. He never introduced me to family or friends and I when I wanted to mail something post breakup to his home he did not want me to.
What are your ideas? Thanks.
Re: What does a man mean by we are on different pages
I am sorry if this sounds harsh, but this is the pattern you set with him from the beginning. You allowed him to not contact you for long periods of time in between hook ups, and then just let him come back for more whenever he felt like it. It's very difficult to ask him for more now when he's had it that way for so long.
My thoughts are, you are probably wasting your time and emotions on someone who is not emotionally available. He even flat out said he doesn't want an emotional attachment. There are no mixed messages. Don't, I repeat, DON'T send him anything. He doesn't deserve it.
It may be best to move on.
This is exactly what I was thinking. He isn't a single dad w/ young kids. He's a MARRIED dad and the "family" he lives with is probably his WIFE and kids.
100% this.
And even if it just a matter of being busy with his kids - you dated him for over TWO years. That's a damn long time to be dating when he's putting you on the back burner.
YOu suck at attracting a decent guy -- a decent single guy --- who truly wants a dating relationship with a decent nice woman.
You are hot on the trail of the married bums, the unavailable and a guy who wants a quick sexual fix. That's the only guys you are dating: where is the nice guy who is very single and available; who wants to be with you all the time??? I don't see a shred of evidence that he is alive and well in your life!
when a guy doesn't take you to his apartment, home or condo and if you do not meet his immediate family or you do not meet any of his friends, this is a bum: a married man.
And if not married, he is already deeply involved with somebody
Drop a shithead like that like the proverbial hot potato and bad habit.
What you need to do:
1-Drop this last bum -- the one who is never around and the one who cannot seem to remember his address when he is with you. He is good for nothing at all.
2-Get yourself to a counselor: Stay with that counselor until you get the idea that a nice and decent guy who is dating eligible (NOT MARRIED, in other words) is the right kind of guy and the only guy for you to date.
3-Take a dating hiatus until you get a counselor's work under your belt. Date nobody until you spend a good chunk of time with thqta professional --- or else you will keep seeing the bums and nogoodnicks who are only good for a possible STD (who says he is dating only you? You are probably not the only sidepiece) and is only good for nothing.
Heed my advice, if you are smart. And use your head for something other than a hatrack. You are continually choosing the wrong men!
I don't know where you are meeting these guys but i will bet it is not where decent men will be available for the meeting.
When you get this mess straightened out (yes, with the help of a counselor) try places where a decent guy will be fouind: volunteer for a good cause! Do you like sports? Join a coed team or sign up for something like coed tennis lessons. Take evening classes, try your house of worship (you might be lucky enough to find a singles group that meets at that house of worship --- there are social activities attached to these groups And if not your parish or whatever it is you attend, try another denomination; tons of churches host young singles groups. You need not be of that denomination to join; all are usually welcome!) --- take some classes that are related to your field of work.
You might also try your local theatre group -- even if you are not an actress or actor, community theater groups need people to volunteer to help out with behind the scenes activities.
Ask your good girlfriends, coworkers, neighbors and more "Do you know a nice man looking to meet a nice woman?" That would be YOU! Get them to introduce you to somebody they can vouch for where they know the guy's not some kind of fly by night or bum.:)
YOu are avoiding commitment and responsibility by dating these shady married characters.
You went away with one of them? I an only imagine the line of crap he gave the wife when it came time for him to do that romantic interlude with you.
Be with a guy who wants to be with you.:)